<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Follow Me Down by SyllabicL</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29633061">Follow Me Down</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SyllabicL/pseuds/SyllabicL'>SyllabicL</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dr. STONE (Anime), Dr. STONE (Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Asphyxiation, Betrayal, But I'm a slut for healthy and happy polyamory it'll just take a LONG time before we get there, But it's just one chapter and some implied stuff, Canon Compliant, Cheating, Drinking, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, I slipped and it got kinkier, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Minor Character Death, My linguistics education keeps jumping out in this fic, Non-Explicit Sex, Oops, Outdoor Sex, Overstimulation, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Slow Burn, Sneaking Around, Someone's gonna get their heart broken, Stone World AU, Trauma, Ukyo X Minami, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Violence, check the tags on each chapter please, it's not a named character, it's smut but its not graphic, teachers RyuKyo !!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:21:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>68,620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29633061</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SyllabicL/pseuds/SyllabicL</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You need to relax."</p><p> </p><p>"Then make me."</p><p>__</p><p>An exploration of the scenes we didn't see behind Ukyo's betrayal of the Kingdom of Might.</p><p>Of the desperation the Stone World brings upon choices. And the consequences that unfold.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hyouga/Nanami Ryuusui, Hyouga/Saionji Ukyou, Nanami Ryuusui/Hyouga/Saionji Ukyou, Nanami Ryuusui/Saionji Ukyou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. He's pretty sure he just looks uncomfortable</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>**please read**</p><p>HELLO. I am back with another fic. If you're looking for comfort polyamory with only a little angst... this aint it. Go read my other fic Keep It Simple. </p><p>If you're looking for pain and angst, then well, here we are.</p><p>I wrote this for myself but y'all can read it. Just /please/ read the tags, check if I add any other trigger warnings at the beginnings of the chapters. I didn't leave anything out for spoilers sake, the big triggers are here and if anything else comes up I'll make sure to mention if I change the tags. This is set to be a long fic, I already hate myself.</p><p>There will be NO non-con or abuse. That I will say. Nothing but sexy consent here. But there is dealings of trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms and the poor decisions that comes with that. People who generally aren't emotionally well for each other, but no active abuse.</p><p>If any of this or the tags don't sound appealing to you.... yeah don't read on. It's probably not THAT bad but meh.</p><p> </p><p>If at ANY point you think I missed a tag or trigger warning that's important, feel free to drop a comment ! </p><p>Enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>One thing I want to say, I don't know how to tag this so if you have any idea lmk.</p><p>But there will be moments when Ukyo has panic attacks that he uses pain to ground himself. It's usually like, focusing on gravel under his knees kind of thing. If that might be triggering please know that it's a semi-frequent theme, I currently have it tagged as implied self harm</p><p> </p><p>tw for this chapter: sex and erotic asphyxiation</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Grass roots dig into his back through the hide laid down on the ground. The night air is cool on his bare legs but the rest of him is burning. Aching. In the best way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s hand grabs him by the wrists, pinning them together above his head. A single hand engulfing both his wrists. He gasps, feels the man’s lips mouth at his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The air around him is buzzing with sound, life, noise. He hears all of it, a constant droning. The river is loud, the water isn’t rushing hard this time of the year, but it’s a constant flow and crash. The water slapping rocks and grazing through foliage. He can hear the low hum of the Empire in the distance. A bird catching its prey. The sound of a rodent squeaking in distress.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s all so distracting. The sounds clashing to his sensitive ears. Ukyo swallows hard, tries to focus on the friction, the feeling of Hyoga between his legs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It must be obvious, how much he’s struggling to keep his head where he wants it. There, in the moment. Not somewhere, however many leagues away, where a man is groaning about dropping a piece of meat on the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He squeezes his eyes shut and it makes it all the louder. Worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hand holding down his wrists moves, releases his hands and smooths at the side of his neck. It’s large, his thumb stroking up and down Ukyo’s jugular. He feels the strings of his focus tie down to that single sensation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He inhales sharp. Hyoga moves his hand until he’s fully engulfing his throat, thumb and pointer on each side of his pulse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo feels Hyoga’s nose brush the cusp of his ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need to relax.” His breath sends a shiver up Ukyo’s spine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wants to. So badly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then make me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> the way Hyoga smiles against his jaw before he applies pressure. The blood rushing in his head becomes the only thing Ukyo can hear. The dull thumping of his squeezing pulse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything else dies down into a low, ignorable hum, and all he feels is the man above him, inside him, surrounding him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He exhales hard, gasping for breath that flows easily, and fingers tangling in the hide above him as he cries out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>End of Summer, two and a half months earlier </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo watches Yuzuriha finish the last stitch on the bright yellow hat in her hands. Tying off the thread and using her teeth to trim it easily. It breaks with a sharp snap, loud to his ears. It only makes him blink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here you go!” She hands it to him with a bright smile. Genuine. “That should keep the sun out of your eyes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He returns the smile and takes it. Fits it on his head, grateful for the familiar. It’s not the same as the cap from his SDF Navy uniform, but it feels close enough. He feels a little more normal for the first time since he was revived.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You even got the yellow to match,” he says, adjusting his hair so it doesn’t poke his eyes. “It fits great. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, good!” She says, turning to put her supplies away. Tucking the threads and needles into a hide pouch, she doesn’t face him when she says, “can’t have one of our strongest three mismatching, can we?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo smiles bitterly while she can’t see him. “Yeah.” He fixes his expression before she turns back around, returning to neutral. “I wanted to ask another favor if it’s okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her smile looks a little more forced. She’s no less genuine, but her eyes look tired. “What do you need?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A bow and arrow,” he says, “do you know how to make one?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He used to do archery in high school, he was pretty good at it, too. He won a few competitions and garnered a small reputation for it. Enough that Minami factored it in with his famously acute sense of hearing towards his revival. Even after he graduated and enlisted, he would frequent the archery range during deployment to keep up his skills. His training with firearms kept his aim perfect between those sessions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukasa had told him to pick a weapon when he had been revived two weeks ago. It felt like it made the most sense. They probably expected it of him anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Yuzuriha nods, “I can make the quiver for you this week. But you’ll have to talk to Hyoga about the arrow tips. He’s in charge of weapon distribution.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga. Right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo doesn’t know what to think of the man, but he hasn’t like him much from what he had seen in the short time since he woke up in the Stone World. He and Tsukasa arevery different men, yet their convictions lead them to the same point: murder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, it was safe to say, Ukyo isn’t a fan. Of either of them. Not since they invited him to their league of authority not even an hour after he awoke with the ultimatum that he join or be imprisoned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a hard second Ukyo was ready to refuse. To decline the position and take up residence in a jail cell. He refused to smash a single statue if it meant that person would never again wake up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, he realized too quickly that if he declined them, then there would be no voice of reason against the violence with a high enough authority to have any sway. It had been an easy choice from there, even if he soon regretted it, he would stay with his commitment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Someone had to provide alternatives everytime violence came up. Someone had to aim for the knee when the others aimed for the head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he knew from early on, Hyoga would not be that man. Hyoga had no issue with aiming for whatever vital point served him the fastest, most efficient route to his goal. In many ways it helped, in their Stone World, there wasn’t always time to sit and calculate. Sometimes, you simply had to trust your instinct.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But that was man versus wild, man versus beast. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo likes to think, when it came to man versus man, there was usually an alternative. Usually. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had been military long enough to know full well that not everyone was willing to negotiate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s yet another reason why he had decided on a bow and arrow. Long distance would give him the chance to aim, to scope out a situation before acting. And if he can stay as surveillance, then he would be the first to respond, be the first decision on the scene. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Avoid violence if he can.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Ukyo responds, fixing his hair one more time to keep his hands busy. “Do you need anything? Any more supplies?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He watches her sort through the piles of clothing she has in her shelter. They’re sorted by size, color. She checks the seems on one thing, she’s still turned away from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm,” she says, considering the offer, checks meters of hide rolled around tree branches. “I could use more deer hide. And if you get any more tusks, they’re good fasteners.” She tells him. “Oh, and dye, do you know what plants to look for?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nikki has told me what they look like.” He nods, takes the opportunity to segue into the topic he wanted to breech. “I haven’t seen any of the ones you need. We went North-East last time, up towards the coast. There wasn’t anything unfortunately.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“By the North-East Coast?” she asks, he can tell she’s keeping her interest moderate. Appropriate. “Really? ...I’m surprised. I thought there would be some. When did you go last?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just yesterday,” he confirms, “maybe it’s the season. I’m sure more will bloom by the Spring.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gives him another smile. It looks easier this time, most likely for the subtle hint he gave her. “Of course. We’ll just have to make do until then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lingers for just a moment as she unrolls some of the hide and takes a coal palette out from her storage. She dips the tip of a whittled stick and begins to make lines, measurements, on the material.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They rely on her too much. He realized that early on when it was obvious she was the only craftswoman or seamstress in the entirety of Tsukasa’s Empire. Then he caught wind of her side job…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had only spoken about it with Taiju once since he had been there. But he had caught enough of the conversation that he decided to follow her out one day. His complete shock and relief when he saw how she was successfully repairing every statue Tsukasa and his men destroyed had him in complete awe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was hard to help her considering it all, so he did this much. Makes her search easier at the least.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a nice bit to keep in mind every time the noise of violence got overwhelming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re about to be interrupted, he can hear someone coming down the footpath to her door, and a moment later, Nikki pushes aside the tanned hide that makes Taiju and Yuzuriha’s doorway. Her mouth is open to speak, and she closes it the moment she notices Ukyo. She hides whatever she’s holding behind her back. A blush on her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right. The women of the Empire had it particularly hard, relying on Yuzuriha frequently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He excuses himself. He can’t offer anyone true privacy, but he can at least pretend and hope that the thought counts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nikki begins to whisper once he’s a few meters from the door. He grimaces. They all know his hearing is sharp, but they have no idea just how acute it is. That not even that effort really keeps him out of a conversation so close. He hates that he can’t shut anything out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He scrubs a hand down his face, nearly knocking his hat off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He needs to go see Hyoga.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He really doesn’t want to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga is where he usually is at this time of day, overlooking Tsukasa’s men as they go through the rounds of training they’d been assigned to keep themselves fit. A good thirty men running through routines and drenched in sweat. The smell would have been bad enough, Ukyo really hated the noise these men made. The grunting, the complaining. It brought him back to basic training when he had been a part of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except worse, because these men had taken full advantage of the lack of civilization to be as brusque and aggressive as they wanted to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thankfully, he was allowed to take on his own regimen, away from the rest of them. Away from Hyoga and Tsukasa as well… he saw one of </span>
  <em>
    <span>their </span>
  </em>
  <span>training sessions and wants nothing to do with those monsters when they really go at it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyoga,” he announces himself when he’s entered the training grounds. The man turns to him, eyes squinted shut, form shrouded by his cloak and spear kept away. He’s relaxed despite his position in the moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” His eyebrow raises under the fringe of his hair, “You’ve been to Yuzuriha’s?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo nods, tries not to act too awkward. “Yeah,” he touches the brim of his new hat, already grateful for the way it keeps the sun out of his eyes. “The sun was in my eyes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga hums, Ukyo </span>
  <em>
    <span>thinks</span>
  </em>
  <span> he’s looking at his hat but honestly there’s no way to tell. It makes him uneasy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’ll make archery easier.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taken off guard, Ukyo blinks at him. “You knew?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The way Hyoga’s eyebrow lifts at that is obvious at least. “We revived you for your archery as much as your perception.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Ukyo makes a face. He thinks it looks friendly but he’s pretty sure it just looks like he’s uncomfortable. “Yuzuriha said I had to speak to you for the arrow tips.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll show you how to make them later,” Hyoga confirms. “I considered having one of them,” he jerks his chin towards the group, “sharpen them for you, but they’re sloppy at best with their spears.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, I can do it.” He looks out over the group. They’re taking a breather, watching the two men talk. Ukyo figured it must look odd with how they’re standing. A good two meters apart and whatever the hell Ukyo’s face is doing. He can tell he’s not hiding his emotions well just then. They probably look comically estranged rather than two men who are supposed to be in alliance with each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be finished here soon, then I can show you where we find the best stones for shaping.” He gestures to the outcropping of rocks where he’s reclined. “Sit down. It would be good for you to know their routine if you ever need to keep them in line.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He complies, stepping up onto the rocks and perching where he can see the entire training field. He tries to ignore the way Hyoga speaks of his soldiers like their animals to be corrected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of the men burps loudly before spitting. He hits another man’s foot with the loogie and it earns him a hard punch to the shoulder. Ukyo frowns, just barely hides his disgust. Things weren’t even that gross on the sub. These were Tsukasa’s flourishing youth?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another of the men steps between those two before they could start fighting. It calms them down and the one guy shakes the mucus off his foot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Can’t believe Tsukasa’s really got these assholes in charge.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Careful not to give away that he can hear them, Ukyo tunes into the conversation between two other men. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hyoga’s beanpole ass was bad enough, at least he can fight. But they expect us to listen to a fucking twink.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The other man roars with laughter, jabbing his friend in the side. Ukyo feels his gut churning, knowing they’re talking about him. He hasn’t done anything to earn their respect yet besides hear a few animals when no one else could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their conversation turns vulgar fast. Other men around them begin to chuckle under their breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeah. He’s going to need that bow and arrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You two!” Hyoga calls out, a gloved hand comes out of his cloak to gesture between the two of them. “Laps.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” One of them looks clueless. Apparently they were loud enough that even Hyoga could hear them. “Laps?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did I stutter?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Hyoga,” he looks appropriately nervous. Ukyo keeps his head down to hide his expression as he watches. “How - how many laps?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga shrugs, pulls his spear from where he has it strapped to his back. All of the men are listening now. “Until I get bored of watching you sweat.” He leans to rest his arms on his knees, his physique on display, reminding them he’s far from weak. He gestures with his spear. “Start running.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Implications</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: violence. sexual harassment, panic attacks, Hyoga kills someone</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>It’s been a month since Ukyo whittled his bow to perfection and filled his quiver full of arrows. He hasn’t had to use it for much else than hunting and stopping a few fights. Nothing quite shut someone up like an arrow taking your ear off.</p><p> </p><p>Not Ukyo’s proudest moment, but if it stopped anything worse from happening, he’d de-ear whenever he had to.</p><p> </p><p>And unfortunately, it seems as though he might have to maim another man that day. </p><p> </p><p>Over the six weeks since he was revived, his hearing has gotten better. He hates it. There’s nothing in the Empire that he doesn’t hear and, honestly, there’s just some things Ukyo doesn’t need to know. And even the most basic conversations were hard to focus on sometimes if someone else was being too loud nearby. </p><p> </p><p>Like just then, he’s listening to Tsukasa and Hyoga discuss their next revival with Minami. Tsukasa is concerned that his rival and biggest threat, Senku, may be alive even after all this time. He wants to send someone to check. Someone who can assess the threat he poses. Someone smart enough to survive. </p><p> </p><p>Minami is going through a list from her memory of people she can remember. Most are older, well into their thirties, too close to the age limit Tsukasa has given. </p><p> </p><p>Ukyo stands to the side, he can hear the conversation just fine and has no need to contribute. It’s really just a one-on-one between Minami and Tsukasa, but Hyoga sits nearby anyways, paying attention.</p><p> </p><p>It’s their usual evening, really, minus the discussions of new members to the Empire. Ukyo has found himself spending more time than he really likes with the other two men, and in turn, a lot of time with anyone who graces their presence. Namely, women and the men who come to chase them.</p><p> </p><p>It’s never pleasant, Ukyo isn’t a fan of evenings like this. They usually end with him having to hear multiple parties in the Empire fucking. And really, he’s tired of heterosexual grunting. </p><p> </p><p>He tries to focus on the conversation the other three are having, tries to ignore the seedy flirtations and jeers happening around him. No matter how much Tsukasa wanted to argue that the youth was more ‘pure’ or whatever, that didn’t change the fact that men, no matter the age, were still men.</p><p> </p><p>It’s not hard for him to notice when one woman’s tone shifts. He turns to where a few men and women are gathered. The men had just arrived not long ago. Ukyo thought they were all friends but perhaps not.</p><p> </p><p>“You know I’m not in the barracks anymore,” the man is saying to one of the girls. </p><p> </p><p>She laughs. “Well aren’t you lucky?”</p><p> </p><p>“You wanna make me luckier?” Ukyo watches him lean close to where she was reclining with another woman. He’s got his hand on her thigh and she tries to move away from it. Laughing. </p><p> </p><p>“Mmm,” she smiles, it’s strained. “Maybe another night. My friend asked for my help with something tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>Ukyo narrows his eyes at the way the man grabs her leg with more force this time. “Don’t get coy, you were into it the other night.”</p><p> </p><p>Her smile looks strained. One of the other women looks up, finds Ukyo’s eyes. He reaches over his shoulder to grab an arrow, if that man didn’t keep his hands to himself, Ukyo was gonna put an arrow through it.</p><p> </p><p>Hyoga notices his motion as he’s taking his bow off his shoulder. They make eye contact. Ukyo wonders if Hyoga would even care. He had no problem crushing statues, what would he care for this woman? He could have been just as bad. But Ukyo was of the same rank. No one would stop him if he intervened. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m just not in the mood tonight.” she says, keeping her tone light, but it’s obviously strained. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be a fucking tease, c’mon.” He grabs her wrist when she tries to scoot away from him. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not-- let go.”</p><p> </p><p>Ukyo doesn’t think about what the man says next, just knocks his arrow against his bow, he debates on warning the man… Would it be worth it? Or would he have to worry about this man cornering the girl on her way home? It’s not like they had sturdy doors he could just --</p><p> </p><p>The man raises his hand and Ukyo decides to hell with it.</p><p> </p><p>Hyoga moves first. He’s closer. Faster. He’s got his spear through the man’s neck before his hand could complete it’s arc. </p><p> </p><p>The woman screams, scrambling over her friends where they pull her away in distress. The other men in the circle watch in horror as Hyoga pulls the spear from the man’s neck with a sickening squelch. The deadeight falls to the ground.</p><p> </p><p>“Was that necessary, Hyoga?” Tsukasa sighs, but let’s Hyoga go. Minami is beside him, a hand over her eyes but otherwise unbothered. She must have seen some things in her time as a journalist. </p><p> </p><p>The girl is shaking where she’s in her friend’s embrace. There’s blood on her skirt, on her leg. Ukyo thinks she’s no less traumatized this way but at least she’s unharmed.</p><p> </p><p>“There will be none of that here,” Hyoga tells the room, turning so everyone can hear him. “I don’t want to waste our manpower, so don’t make me. Understood?”</p><p> </p><p>There’s collective agreement. Hyoga turns to the men who stayed silent while their buddy acted up. “Clean this up.” </p><p> </p><p>One of them is stiff as a board while the other scrambles to follow orders. He smacks his friend in the shoulder to shake him out of it. Ukyo isn’t sure what to think of Hyoga anymore. He feels nauseous at the bloodshed. But he’s not as mad as he could be. </p><p> </p><p>Exhaling heavily, he returns the arrow to its quiver and shoulders his bow, approaches the women, keeps a polite distance as he says, “I’ll walk you to Yuzuriha’s.”</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>He escourts the woman and her friend through the Empire towards Yuzuriha’s. She’s covered in blood. She needs new clothes and someone who can comfort her. He doesn’t think he can do it. He’s still vibrating himself, adrenaline just starting to settle after he had been ready to maim the man. But he’s silent. He doesn’t think he can offer form of comfort.</p><p> </p><p>It hurts when he thinks about what the Empire has done to him. Being in the Navy, a sonar technician let him avoid a lot of the violence. Sure, there were occasionally a few confidential moments of stress on the sub. Some fights among crew mates. But he hadn’t seen death the way he had here. </p><p> </p><p>He’s tired.</p><p> </p><p>They attract eyes as they walk, because of course they do. Nikki is the one on patrol before the sunsets. She makes eye contact with him. She looks confused by the blood but not shocked in the slightest. He hates that.</p><p> </p><p>Yuzuriha is horrified at the state the woman’s in. But she understands why Ukyo brought her. She’s already digging through some spare clothes. Probably prepared for the next round of revivals. It’s all a blur as she waves the two women over, sits them down, helps them clean up. </p><p> </p><p>Ukyo thanks her, and leaves before anyone could say anything in response. </p><p> </p><p>He needs…</p><p> </p><p>Something.</p><p> </p><p>He can’t think straight.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t go back to the cave where Hyoga and Tsukasa must no doubt be waiting for him. He needs to be far away from it. From the blood. From any residual panic. From Hyoga.</p><p> </p><p>He goes the opposite direction, down to the river. </p><p> </p><p>As he goes, he can hear the whispers, talk about the slaying and who was involved. The way Ukyo had his bow drawn and ready. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> They’re all alike, those three. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He feels nauseous. Tripping down the river bank, he stumbles when he tries to shed his bow and quiver, dropping it onto the soft grass and falling to his knees by the water’s edge. He dips his hands beneath the surface, splashing his face, scrubbing at his skin. It feels like he’s the one covered in blood. </p><p> </p><p>They haven’t <em> made </em> him kill yet, but he’s not sure how long that’ll last. </p><p> </p><p>Besides, every day he doesn’t stand up against it is another day of blood on his hands. </p><p> </p><p>He wants to be sick. He didn’t eat dinner and he’s glad for it now. Though if he does hurl, h;s going to regret it.</p><p> </p><p>He sits back on his heels, holds his knees, tries to get back to himself while he looks at his own reflection, blurred until it’s indistinguishable in the water.</p><p> </p><p>It feels like he’s outside of his body. But he can still hear <em> everything. </em>He just wants it to end. And--</p><p> </p><p>And someone is approaching the river bank. It’s too late to compose himself, and there’s not many people who could sneak up on him like that. </p><p> </p><p>It’s Hyoga, he stops at the tree line, observes Ukyo as he stumbles to his feet, nearly going down. He feels dizzy. Like he can barely stay upright but he manages. </p><p> </p><p>Hyoga approaches the water as Ukyo holds his head. Watching as Hyoga cleans the tip of his spear in the water. “You don’t handle it well, do you?” Hyoga asks. The blood swirls dark in the water. “Killing.”</p><p> </p><p>Ukyo breathes through his nose. His heart is racing. He’s not in any state to have this conversation and keep up his facade. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine,” Hyoga tells him, facing him from where he’s kneeling. He rests an arm on his knee. Ukyo notices the power in his form, recognizes how unmatched he is against Hyoga. Thinks of how easily he killed that man. That Tsukasa was fine with it. Ukyo wonders how he feels about it himself. “But you’ll have to find a way to manage.”</p><p> </p><p>Ukyo closes his eyes. It’s a bad idea, he feels his head swim. When he opens his eyes, Hyoga is standing, threading his spear through the loops on his cape. They face each other. Hyoga has his eyes open this time as he appraises him. Ukyo feels scrutinized, small.</p><p> </p><p>“We all struggle to adjust to this Stone World, Ukyo,” he says. It almost sounds like he cares. Ukyo still doesn’t know how to feel about him, and this isn’t helping. He’s seen Hyoga kill before, why is it different this time? “You’re too tense. Find a way to deal with it.”</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>Ukyo finds out Hyoga likes men by accident. And yet again, he wishes he could shut out his hearing. Ignore the sound of it. Ignore that he has this one thing in common with the man. And the implications that come to mind. Bashes his head against the floor through his straw pallet at his own mental imagery.</p><p> </p><p>It hurts, there’s nothing but stone underneath. But that’s kind of the point. He hates sleeping in the same space as the power duo. He thought Tsukasa was bad enough, he hadn’t been prepared for Hyoga to bring that man back with him tonight. He hadn’t been able to ignore that the man was… smaller than Hyoga. He wonders if he has a type.</p><p> </p><p>Frustrated, in more ways than he’s proud of, Ukyo leaves the cave. Takes a walk until he can’t hear it anymore. Far away from the empire. Away from the river.</p><p> </p><p>This time, he finds himself at Senku’s grave. </p><p> </p><p>He stares at the wooden cross that marks it. He’s heard Taiju and Yuzuriha’s quiet conversations about Senku’s faith in science. His ingenious solutions. The way he always thought with his head. He’s heard Tsukasa’s own stories, too, about how he and Senku disagreed because his rival wanted to revive <em> everyone.  </em></p><p> </p><p>Silently laments the man’s death. What it could have meant for everyone if he had survived. If they had a leader that didn’t play god. That didn’t pretend to be the moral high ground.</p><p> </p><p>What would the Stone World be like then? What luxuries would they have with science? Would there still be death?</p><p> </p><p>There are footsteps behind him, breaking him from his thoughts. He moves, quietly, to hide himself. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t like he couldn’t go anywhere he wanted to. No one would question him but just then he didn’t want to encounter anyone.</p><p> </p><p>But of course it’s just those two. Who else would it be but Taiju and Yuzuriha?</p><p> </p><p>“They're going to send the new guy after him,” Yuzuriha tells her… boyfriend? Did they ever get together? He’s still not sure. “Asagiri Gen.”</p><p> </p><p>“Isn’t he a magician?” Taiju wonders loudly. Ukyo watches him scratch at his chin. “I wonder what Senku will do against magic.”</p><p> </p><p>Yuzuriha looks fond if not exasperated. “Taiju, he can’t use real magic. It’s all just tricks.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ooooh! Then Senku will see right through that,” he waves it off with confidence. “He’s got science to handle it.”</p><p> </p><p>Ukyo freezes at that. Those aren’t the sort of things you speak of a dead man. Present tense--</p><p> </p><p>“Gen won’t hurt him, but I’m scared for whenever he reports back,” Yuzuriha whispers. </p><p> </p><p>Taiju throws an arm around her shoulder and opens his mouth to speak. He must immediately realize what he did because they both blush but he doesn’t move. He coughs. “Senku will figure it out. He always does.”</p><p> </p><p>It’s sweet the way she looks at him like he hung the stars. They keep talking but it’s irrelevant at that point.</p><p> </p><p>Senku is alive. They must only discuss these things at the grave site. Where they’re far enough away from Ukyo that they can’t be heard if they speak softly. And hidden well under the guise of mourning their best friend.</p><p> </p><p>They have full faith in him. In his capabilities. That he’ll come back. That he’ll take down Tsukasa and his men, using <em> science </em>to do it.</p><p> </p><p>Yuzuriha worries of Hyoga. Of his bloodlust. Taiju — loudly — reminds her that Senku can deal with it. There’s no way he’d allow casualties. </p><p> </p><p>“Hyoga may have a spear, but Senku has science! He’s probably already got more gun powder!”</p><p> </p><p>They leave and Ukyo slides his back down the stone. Sits in the dust. </p><p> </p><p>Senku is alive. A man that wants no casualties and stands a chance against the Empire, is out there, biding his time for a chance. Yuzuriha is diligently repairing every statue Tsukasa has ever smashed. There’s hope.</p><p> </p><p>Ukyo nearly cries. He’s relieved.</p><p> </p><p>He decides then that one day he’s going to betray the Kingdom of Might. But until then... he has to keep quiet. If no one suspects him. If no one knows. He could do the most. But if anyone knows, if Senku or one of his friends tries to drag him in, it would be too obvious. He has to keep a distance, stay under the ruse that he’s in agreement with Tsukasa’s will. Even if it ring shim dry.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t sleep that night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. He was a soldier after all</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This chapter is so short in comparison. Sorry about that. </p><p>Please note that this will be a more triggering chapter</p><p>TW: violence, death, panic attacks, that pain grounding thing I talked about in chapter 1</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The day comes that Ukyo must kill when there’s an attempted uprising. It’s pathetic really. Just some men who were mad that Tsukasa let Hyoga kill their friend over a woman. The lack of loyalty or whatever. Ukyo’s pissed when through all of it. Doesn’t even have a chance to think about what’s coming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stays up high, there’s enough of them that it’s a nuisance, so he aims for knee caps. Shatters someone’s shoulder blade. The men drop from his arrows, alive but struggling. He doesn’t think about how it’s a death sentence in their Stone World. Thinks only of stopping the violence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They can’t see him from where he is. It scares them well before Hyoga can even get there and by then there’s a crowd. The civilians who aren’t trained to fight like the designated soldiers are. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Enough men remain loyal to Tsukasa that it’s easy to hold their ground. Ukyo watches Nikki drop kick a man in the chest. He cheers her on silently and snipes a man trying to attack her from behind. It hits the back of his knee and goes through the other side. She makes a face but otherwise moves on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For just a moment, Ukyo wonders if she had always been the type to walk away from violence like that. Or if the Stone World changed them all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of the men manages to break away from the frey when Hyoga and Tsukasa show. When it’s clear they’re going to lose. The uprising has failed. So he books it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And of course he takes a hostage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo hears it before he sees it, the man barrels his way through the passive crowd, breaks through the throng of people and down the footpath out of the kingdom. He hears a short struggle beyond the tree line where he can’t see, it’s well on the other side of the clearing where the fight broke out. Ukyo can’t get there fast enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Stop, wait--”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shut up.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo’s already running when he hears Tsukasa’s voice. “Ukyo! Don’t let him kill any one else!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s clear what he means. By any means necessary. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo hates it, but he agrees. If it was just this one traitor, he’d put an arrow in his thigh and leave him for the vultures. But if he has a hostage, someone who must have been away from the crowd to begin with, then Ukyo would defend them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a short chase, this man hasn’t left the footpaths before, didn’t know his way off the well beaten path. And with the hostage in tow, he moves even slower. Ukyo catches up with him in the rocky area behind Senku’s grave. The man is moving slowly, looking over his shoulder, up and around, creeping across a cliff face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d be a sitting duck if not for the man in his grip. He’s got a spear head at the guy’s throat, keeping him compliant, using him as a shield. He hears the way the man whimpers, cries, begs for his life. They won’t make it on their own. Just let him go and run.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It fuels the rage in Ukyo enough to keep him moving. He can’t turn back like this. Not until he knows this traitor is no longer a threat to anyone else. He’ll take out his knee, let him crawl away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo catches up to them, from above, rocks crumble underneath his feet, pebbles rolling down the edge and giving away his location. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man stops, turns and presses the knife harder against the hostage’s throat.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll kill him!” he threatens. “I swear I will! Just turn away now and he’ll live!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo appraises the situation. Sees the desperation in the man’s eyes. The willingness to kill. Sees the hostage with tears running down his cheeks, leaning away from the knife just to have his head yanked back in by the hair. His eyes plead with Ukyo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s no openings. The man has himself fully behind the guy from this distance. It’s impressive how he managed to hide behind a frame significantly smaller than his own. There’s nothing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nothing but a headshot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo pulls an arrow from his quiver. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sees blood run down the hostage’s throat. In the back of his mind recognition strikes, the hostage is the man Hyoga bedded last week. It doesn’t matter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulls the string. Aims.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you won’t kill me!” The man says, “I know how you work, you never go for a killing blow! You won’t do it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sees the target in his sights. There’s a half second that he can tell the man has decided to sacrifice the hostage. His hand is moving. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo lets his arrow fly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo gets sick in the river.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s shaking, he can’t hold himself up anymore, falling to the gravel and clawing at his ears. He feels the sharp edges digging into his shins, his knees, focusing on that. It doesn’t help. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re talking about him. He can hear it. They’re talking about how he killed that man. Put an arrow between his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Said he was a soldier after all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That he really was in league with Tsukasa... with Hyoga.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That they should fear him. That he’d kill anyone who deserts them, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wants it to stop. He needs it to stop. He’s not like them. He just did what he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels like he’s choking. He can’t breathe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Someone pulls him by the back of his shirt until he’s on his back. He hits the ground with a pained gasp. The rocks here dig into his back, brusing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The moonlight is blocked out and there are hands over his ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Breathe.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s muffled, but close enough that his ears hear it just fine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He listens. Lets his senses blur until he can only hear his breath. Tries to keep it steady. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The gloves against his ear are smooth leather, they shut everything out in the distance. He just hears his own exhales. Ragged. Heavy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feels the rocks dig in his back more. Focuses on the pain, it grounds him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He opens his eyes, now adjusted to the darkness, and sees it’ Hyoga who’s got him pinned down. His mask is down, eyes open. Searching Ukyo’s panicked face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo hates how thankful he is. If it was anyone else… he knows this would have been a moment of ridicule. They’d never trust him, they’d never take him seriously. If they knew he crumpled so easily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Since when did he trust Hyoga like this? Since when did he have such faith in this man? Even after watching how easily he murdered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What changed?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The man is safe,” Hyoga tells him. Keeps his hands tight over Ukyo’s ears. His voice is all Ukyo can hear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lets it anchor him. Reaches up to grab Hyoga’s wrists to keep him there. Keep the silence for just a little longer. Won’t admit it out loud how much it helps, how much he needs this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The wound on his neck is shallow. It’ll barely scar. Yuzuriha’s already treated it. You saved him in time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t go beyond Ukyo that he’s avoiding the words. His act. Hyoga is focusing on the hostage. On Ukyo’s motive. He lets the voice in his head focus in on that, too. He got there in time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did the right thing, Ukyo.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He closes his eyes. Bites back a sob but can’t stop the tears. He hates himself for it. He nods.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s not sure how long they stay there. But when he feels himself calm. Relax. He moves his hands, lets them fall to the ground by his head, opens his eyes, and breathes. Heavy. He feels out of breath. He doesn’t want to keep Hyoga there any longer, but he won’t ask him to leave. Just lets him make his own choice. Watches the pensive -- surprisingly tense -- look Hyoga wears on his face. The way his mouth twists his petriscars. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo realizes this is the first time he’s seen them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga moves his own hands… his right hand sliding down Ukyo’s neck. Thumbing at his pulse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo sucks in a breath, watches Hyoga as he seems to count his pulse. Feels surprisingly calm. Doesn’t think. But wonders what the light in Hyoga’s eyes is trying to tell him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then the moment ends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga gets up, let’s Ukyo stand up on his own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They don’t walk back together.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>l m a o</p><p>Thank you to Tri and Xy for letting me scream about this in their dms &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Goodnight, Ukyo-kun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Helloooo again. I don't remember everything I wanted to say. well fuck. okay.</p><p>In regards to how much I'm following canon, the answer is *mostly* but I am bending things sometimes.</p><p>TW for the chapter: dissociation, sleep deprivation, mentions of blood/violence, mentions of sex/sexual themes, mentions of abuse (non-detailed)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Things are different after that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a clear shift. Everyone gives Ukyo the same space they give the power duo. Everywhere he walks, he’s given a wide berth, no one wanting to accidentally shoulder check him. When he’s set on watch over the training grounds, no one speaks. No one moves out of line. He knows that training is recreational for a lot of them. He feels bad that his presence interferes with that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re all starting to understand just how far his perception goes. Just how far he can hear. And how far he’s willing to go with his arrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He reminds himself that they don’t know shit and sits at his perch, watching it all from inside his own skull. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the sake of someone else or not, Ukyo didn’t hesitate to kill a man when it came down to it. And everyone is processing it differently. Tsukasa has given him more freedom, more tasks. Ukyo didn’t even realize he had been holding back until he found himself on a cycle with Hyoga watching over their warriors. Now that he had proven his strength, his ability to hold his own in combat </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was no longer just the thinker of their trio. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even Yuzuriha’s smile looks tight when he goes to check on her supplies again. She keeps her responses short, quick, the conversation is over before it even begins. He keeps his tone and expression even. He can’t blame her, really. He must have looked to her the way Hyoga appeared to him those first few weeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone is processing the fact Ukyo killed a man, except for him. He feels like he’s moving in a daze. He keeps his hat pulled low to hide how his eyes don’t focus on anything anymore. He can’t crawl out of his own skull enough, just lets his ears do the work. They’ve gotten more sensitive and he hates it. Sometimes he feels less human for it. Like a predator looking for any instigation to act. The slightest stir to move.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It feels like a piece of his soul has been chipped away. Like a part of him died with the life he took, hitched a ride on the tip of his arrow and embedded itself between that man’s eyes as he watched it coming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He went to visit the man he saved just a few days ago. The guy is okay, there’s a bandage around his neck and he’s a bit shaky, but he’s okay. He seems sturdy enough when he’s not being held hostage. He’s even back to work already, helping to gather wild vegetables and edible plants. He was a horticulture major back pre-petrification. Just a twenty-something like the rest of them but, like Ukyo, not built with the brute force the rest of the men are equipped with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>During their conversation, Ukyo couldn’t focus. His mind kept drifting back to the fact that this man is Hyoga’s type. Why does he care again? He can’t remember. But that’s all he can think about these days.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga. The urge to ask him for help again is strong. Especially on the bad nights.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s been having nightmares. Brutal things of blood on his hands. The image of the man, slumped against the cliff face, eyes gaping, blood oozing from the spot where the arrow still stuck out of his skull. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On those nights, he goes down to the river, puts his hands tight over his ears, and tries to breathe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t, and he’s left there at the river’s edge drawing in short, quick breaths, praying that no one comes to take a piss and sees him. He’ll wash his hands, scrub under his fingers as if the blood was fresh there, running insistently. Sometimes he swore he could see it and he wonders if he’s losing his mind. He swears he can hear them sometimes. The citizens of the Empire, whispering behind the trees, calling him a murderer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wants so badly to find Hyoga once again. Ask him to help. To drown out the noise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He understands that it’s just psychology. He’s not coping right, and he keeps going back to the one thing that worked so well. How much it helped to go through it with company. How much it helped to have a presence there over him, holding him down on Earth and in reality. There was no psychology in the Stone World. No therapy. No internet to research what he can do to feel better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s just like Hyoga said, they all had to find a way to cope. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But hell if he didn’t hate himself that he wants to seek out Hyoga again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>___</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dissociation. He remembers that word after a couple weeks, thinks that it fits him well. All he can do is listen to his surroundings and carry out orders, pretend he’s fine, let that all make him look like the hardened member of Tsukasa’s Empire that he’s supposed to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But really, he’s not hardened, he’s just… vacant. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then he realizes that something’s different with Hyoga. And it’s not just his overthinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’ve been gravitating towards each other, in the subtlest of ways. Ukyo didn’t even realize he was falling into it, too, at first. When they discuss with Tsukasa, Ukyo sits closer these days. Stands in their space, feels the way he shifts, Hyoga and himself facing their king. He’s prompted to speak more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s a cop, but he’ll help keep these men in line. As long as we make it worth his time, it’ll help to have someone able to keep them straight from within their ranks.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t know how I feel about a cop in this Stone World.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ukyo-kun.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was always that these days. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ukyo-kun. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The first time he heard the suffix, he hadn’t thought much of it, but for some reason, in that moment, he did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks up from under the brim of his cap from where he’s standing, arms crossed, letting them discuss. He has to look sideways at Hyoga, they’re… closer than he realized. When did that happen?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think?” Hyoga asks him, Tsukasa too, looks welcoming to hear his opinion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shrugs in response. “I don’t like to pretend I know who deserves to be revived or not,” he sighs. He thinks they all find him to be apathetic. Really he’s just tired. He hasn’t slept a full night in weeks. “But we can always use the man power.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga takes that as a point for his side, tilts his head to implore to Tsuksasa. Takes responsibility for the man if he proves to be problematic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They leave him be after that. Until a few days later when Minami is running through a list of names and qualifications, he can’t remember what they needed this person for. A horseback rider, a physical trainer, a gymnast, a knife thrower.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell me more about Momiji Homura.” Tsukasa says, “A gold medal gymnast could be useful here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I agree, we could use someone else with Ukyo’s agility in the Empire.” Hyoga adds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minami sucks on her cheek, shrugs one shoulder. “She was good, if not a little odd. I met her a few times, she gained a good reputation, but she also had a few sccandals.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Scandals?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Her coach from childhood turned out to be… unsavory. It came out he was slave driving the girls he worked with when a parent found bruises on their daughter. I asked Homura for an interview about it,” Minami makes a face, scrunching up her nose. “It was strange. Homura was fine with it at first, confirmed everything that happened to everyone else but when it came to herself she just,” she snaps her fingers, “switch flip, she was pissed at me. Interview over.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing to provoke that response?” Tsukasa asks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minami shrugs, giving them all a look to say she really doesn’t know. “I just asked ‘did you experience the same hardships’ and it was that easy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think, Ukyo-kun?” Hyoga turns to him where he’s picking at the hems of his sleeves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There it is again. He turns to his colleague, sees that he’s being watched by all of them. He wonders why they value his opinion so much when he never contributed anything without prompting. To their side, a group of their men erupt in laughter at a joke. The women join. It’s all honest fun but Ukyo can’t help the way he winces. The sound would be bad enough on its own without the way it echoes through the cavern. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s all it takes for Hyoga to turn to them and snap, “Keep your voices down or leave, this isn’t your personal hang out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stop laughing immediately, looking well scolded. One of the women makes a face at him when he turns away. Ukyo feels bad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukasa aims a look at Hyoga who pointedly ignores it. “You were saying, Ukyo-kun?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t miss the eye roll on Tsukasa’s part. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It sounds like she went through the same thing,” he says, “but that’s her business. I think someone else who could run the same routes as me would be helpful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukasa leans on his propped up fist, looks at him. “Would you say you need a right hand? Or just someone to take the weight of your patrols off on occasion?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The latter, I like my patrols.” Ukyo refuses to give them up. No one talks to him. He doesn’t have to fake shit, and he gets to spend time far away from the loudest parts of the kingdom. There’s no way he would give that up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But yeah, he was tired. He couldn’t always make the full circuit twice a day like he was supposed to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then she’ll work with you, Hyoga,” Tsukasa tells them, shifting to look towards Hyoga without lifting his head. “You’ll be in charge  of helping her adjust and assigning her duties when she’s not covering Ukyo’s shift.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga nods. “Very well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minami claps her hands now that they’ve made a decision. “Great! I was a fan of her, so if I remember correctly, I should be able to help you find where her gym had been. She’s probably there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>___</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s one night in particular that’s burned into Ukyo’s memory. He’d gone to bed early, exhausted from three nights of broken sleep and having to teach Homura the ropes of his side of things. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s great, he thinks. She picked everything up easily, but after running his shifts for a week she had ideas to extend and scout out an extra section up the mountains. So they had gone together, as it was easiest for the two of them to move quickly. The result was finding a location full of prime animals for food sources.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But now, he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>tired. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He manages to drift off a bit just in time for Hyoga’s hook up to start breathing heavy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tried to ignore it. He really, really did. Hyoga was considerate enough to fuck quietly but it didn’t work out. Ukyo could hear more than he wanted to even from far back in the cave where the echo was the quietest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sighing in defeat, he pushes himself up onto his hands and knees, hanging his head in regret that he wouldn’t be sleeping any time soon. His muscles protest as he gets to his feet and stumbles through the caves. Their beds are separate enough that he’s fairly certain Tsukasa and Hyoga can’t hear each other, especially with the way their king is snoring away on his own pallet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, it was just Ukyo’s curse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He takes a walk, goes down to the grave site and takes a nap until his stiff neck has him waking up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The moon is well high in the sky by then, and he figures it’s safe to return. Hyoga’s bed mates never really linger, so he hopes the cave would be quiet by then. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He runs into the horticulturist just outside the entrance. The guy looks dazed, satisfied. Jelly legged. The bandages on his neck look clean if not a little rumpled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo feels something unfurl in his gut. It feels ugly, and he feels worse for it when the guy gives him a genuine smile, even if it is embarrassing to be caught in the walk of shame.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s the only one that doesn’t treat Ukyo like a monster these days. He forces a smile. Hopes he looks tired more than whatever unsavory feeling he’s got towards the man right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not that the man is in his right mind to notice before he stumbles off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feet heavy, Ukyo makes his way back to bed. His body is sore, his neck is stiff, and now he’s reminded yet again of how long it’s been since he’s gotten laid himself. It felt tragic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He scrubs a hand down his tired face, notices that he didn’t even bring his hat this time he must have been so tired. He picks sand out of the corner of his eye and when he looks back up he makes direct eye contact with Hyoga.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s bare ass naked. Lounging on his pallet and leaning against the cave wall. His hair is messy, stuck to his temples, and even in the dim light Ukyo can tell he’s a mess. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga catches Ukyo staring. He’s gaping really. His tired, fuzzy mind not realizing where he is for a full second before Hyoga’s lips pull in a haunting smirk. It twists his petrification marks, makes him look sinister.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Like a harsh, cold wave, the kind of chill that feels like it’s burning your skin, Ukyo has a very stark realization.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s attracted to Hyoga. He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> attracted to Hyoga. And he doesn’t know how to feel about that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo swallows hard. Tries to compose himself as he redirects his eyes anywhere else before stumbling back to his pallet further back in the cave. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hide blanket feels too warm when he pulls it up over his shoulders, back turned to the rest of the cave, and the image of Hyoga’s full form stretched and relaxed burned into the backs of his eye lids.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, he thinks he’s imagining things, but the way something stirs in his gut tells him otherwise when he hears,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Ukyo-kun.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Well then maybe he needs to release some tension</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yay Homura / Ukyo interactions !</p><p>Tw for the chapter: sleep deprivation, moral conflicts, sexual themes</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Some days later,Ukyo is back from his rounds. He’s waiting on Homura to finish her tasks for the day, whatever it is Hyoga has her doing, so they could go hunting at the place they had found a few days prior. They were the only two who could get up the mountain and food was too valuable to not take the opportunity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s found a spot in the lattice work of Tsukasa’s throne-room cave where they all stay. From where he is, he could hear the entire kingdom. But it also kept him up and away from interacting with anyone else and far enough away from anything too noisy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ever since Hyoga’s last hook up a few days ago, Ukyo has gotten less than two hours of sleep a night. Nothing was keeping him up except his own head. Running through scenarios of death, and the murder he committed. The way he watched the power duo crush statues.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He started calling them no more than that. Statues. His sleep deprived mind could no longer handle the connections to real humans. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So they were statues. They broke statues. And that couldn’t really be compared to murder… could it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then that same trail of thought would always come back around to himself. Sure, he let them crush statues and that wasn’t murder. But then what was his excuse. Ukyo had killed a living, breathing man. An arrow in his skull. How was he to live with that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then like a seed in his mind that he wishes would choke before it could grow anywhere, his mind would divert to other things to distract him. To pull him away from that panic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sex. He’s been thinking about sex a lot recently. Specifically with Hyoga.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s starting to piss him off. Especially when he couldn’t sleep because of it. And especially now, in broad daylight, when all he could focus on was the low tenor of Hyoga’s voice as he spoke with Tsukasa. Now his brain decided was a good time to remind him of what Hyoga looks like post sex. How satisfied his partner for the night had looked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shakes his head, tries to get the thought out of his head. Focuses on the conversation as best he can.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re talking about the recent revival, Asagiri Gen. The mentalist had been revived with the intent to send him off to seek out Senku, but they currently face one issue with that: Gen isn’t cut out for the Stone World. He’s struggling to adjust, they say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo personally thought it wasn’t fair to expect him to be ready to rough it only a week after waking up. For Ukyo, he had been through basic training, he had worked in disaster relief, he knew what it felt like to rough it. It wasn’t the culture shock to him the way it must have been to someone living like a celebrity in the old world. He thinks Gen will be fine soon enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And if he isn’t… well he would probably make them think he is. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo feels himself nodding off where he sits in the shadows of the column. Arms crossed and hat hiding his eyes. Between the familiar timber of their voices and the steady humdrum of the kingdom, he almost thinks he might be able to nap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Tsukasa changes the topic rather abruptly and it throws Ukyo for a loop, snapping him back awake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s with you and Ukyo lately?” he asks, slides it into the conversation like it was the natural progression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo thinks he can hear that Hyoga is reeling from the sudden question as well by the shift in his voice when he says, “there’s nothing with me and Ukyo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sure?” Tsukasa asks. Ukyo is careful not to look over, hopes that it looks like he’s still sleeping. “You treat him differently. From when you first met.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t that to be expected?” Hyoga asks, his voice sounds steady enough. “Between any two people who have to learn to live with each other?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but you,” Tsukasa pauses, “You’ve been acting weird. More than he does. You’ve got some kind of interest in him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo feels his gut stir. He doesn’t like it but the scene from when Hyoga stopped his panic attack comes to mind. Once again can see the image of Hyoga above him, blocking out the moon. One hand on his neck. A different scenario plays out in his head against his will. He hates it. Or at least that’s what he tells himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And if I do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not the response Ukyo is expecting. Hyoga’s voice hints of threat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damn, they must really think he’s asleep if they’re talking so openly about him all of a few meters away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m only worried for his mental state,” Tsukasa responds. He sounds unbothered by Hyoga’s tone. “He hasn’t been the same since he stopped the deserter.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo feels nauseous at the external reminder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Back to the conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He has enough to stress about, and he’s not sleeping, I’m worried what that will do to his ability to lead”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s silence between them for just a moment too long. It’s almost awkward. And then Hyoga responds. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well then maybe he needs to release some tension.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes everything in Ukyo not to </span>
  <em>
    <span>move.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He feels like he could fall off that beam right then and there. He’s not even able to keep his eyes closed anymore. Looking down at his lap, wide eyed, Ukyo blinks. Wonders if he heard that right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A long sigh breaks the silence after that. “Just don’t be a dick about it. Anyways, I want the mentalist to head out this week…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo doesn’t pay attention to the rest. He couldn’t care less about Asagiri Gen right then. Not with the explicit knowledge that Hyoga is interested. And even though his rational brain begs him </span>
  <em>
    <span>why should he care? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The part of him that stayed up every night thinking about how Hyoga might look above him in a different context, that part supplies him with too many scenarios to where this could go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s so lost in it, spiraling with the concept of active advances from Hyoga, that he doesn’t hear Homura sneak up on him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Usually, he can’t hear her much at all, at most a whisper of her shoes when she’s within reach. But just then he heard nothing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Saionji, you ready to go?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He startles, yelps, falls off the lattice ungracefully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not a long drop to the ground, thank god, but he’s still sore, rolling onto his back and groaning at Homura’s feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looks down on him, her expression blank. Impossible to read really. But she doesn’t look </span>
  <em>
    <span>mad. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Were you sleeping?” she asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He consigns that it’s going to take him a moment. He’s tired, his body doesn’t want to move after that. His mind is still racing from the revelations a minute ago.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” It’s a lie. Oh well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You okay, Ukyo-kun?” He can hear Hyoga’s voice from inside the cave. Ukyo struggles not to scowl. He just </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>to say something right then. Say his name. Fucking, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ukyo-kun.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He ends up grimacing trying to hide the face he really wants to make.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he huffs, “I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Homura offers him a hand, her face hasn’t changed more than the set to her brow. If he had to compare it to the near identical expression from before, it looks like whatever she was considering a moment ago has now been decided.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He accepts her help and she waits for him to brush off his clothes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll be back,” Homura tells the two inside the cave, but there’s something about it -- the way she’s looking directly at Hyoga probably -- that reveals she’s only addressing Tsukasa by coincidence that he’s there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo makes eye contact with Hyoga when he nods. Acknowledging her words. But Ukyo feels his gaze bearing down on him. It’s a lot. Too much for Ukyo right then, even at a distance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he leads Homura away, down their mountain and around towards the direction they’re headed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they’ve diverted away from the usual path of the kingdom, Homura stops, spins on him. Her movements are graceful, he doesn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>hear </span>
  </em>
  <span>her move until her hands come down to brush her skirt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When did you last sleep?” She asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Ukyo wasn’t expecting the question. “Last night?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” She presses. “You were at the river for a while.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blanches. “You know about that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shrugs, her lips pulling in a confused frown. Just a little. “You’re always going down there so I went to check it out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Embarrassed, ashamed, and a little bit panicked that anyone saw him breaking down, Ukyo stammers for a second. His neck feels hot. This was exactly his fear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” she makes a face, crosses her arms, “Stop that, I don’t care, okay? But you can’t climb this mountain if you haven’t slept in a week.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Too tired and defeated to put up a fight, he looks at her and shrugs. “We have to get dinner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, they can fend for themselves for a night,” she sniffs. “We’ve got vegetables and dried meat. You need to sleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t sleep,” he admits.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can see that, the bags under your eyes are collecting miles,” she makes a face. “Why can’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn't want to get into it. Into the details. So he just says simply, points at his ears. “Noise. The kingdom is always loud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her lips pop open in an O.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, you’re crazy radar hearing.” She nods. “Then let’s go.” And she turns around and starts moving. He looks after her for a second. Wonders what the whole point was. Follows her anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not for a while that he realizes she’s led him in a totally opposite direction. Damn, is he that tired? They’re completely out of their way, the kingdom far behind them. It would be an extra hour at this point to get where they were supposed to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” he stops her, “Where are we going?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gestures around them. It looks like any stretch of the wild around the kingdom. Trees and grass… a few rocks. A boulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pick a spot and sleep,” she says, “There’s no predators in this area but I’ll keep an eye out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now she looks annoyed. “I don’t like repeating myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blinks at her, too tired to make sense of it. His mouth is kind of hanging open too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn, you’re a mess, dude,” she says. “I said take a nap. Or however long you’ve gotta sleep.” She waves her hands towards the area again. “I’ll be around, I want to work on some movements I haven’t gotten down yet. Trees are a bit different from uneven bars. I’ll wake you up in time to go back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sits there, blinking at her for another moment and she finally scoffs, turning around and walking away from him. Leaving him to decide whatever he wants to do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unable to make sense of it at all, he does as she suggested, finds a well shaded tree and plops himself down. The forest around him is silent. Her movements are a subtle, nearly silent rustling outside of range for it to be acute to his ears. Aside from that there’s…. Almost nothing. The occasional bug in the bushes or a wind in the trees. And that’s it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He owes her, Ukyo thinks, as he promptly passes out.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. He really just wants to forget himself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“You need to relax,” Hyoga tells him. His voice is low, quiet. The hand on Ukyo’s neck is… gentle. Ukyo would almost call it affectionate. But something about that doesn’t fit quite right.</p><p>He licks his lips, not really thinking about it or knowing where the words come from when he says, “Why don’t you make me then?”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well some 10k words and six chapters later, and finally they fuck. It's nothing too crazy yet, but oh well. Gotta have some development. </p><p>This is like twice the length of my usual chapters, heh. oops.</p><p>If you don't want to read the smut, it starts to get more detailed when you see "Ukyo can't look away. It's alluring." and ends at "can you stand?" The sex scenes in this fic will detail their relationship progression so you might miss a bit of that, but it shouldn't be too bad. </p><p>tw for the chapter: panic attack, hallucinations (kinda), that pain thing I said Ukyo does where he doesnt *try * to hurt himself but it happens, and he uses pain to ground himself, accidental near drowning, sex/sexual themes/sexual situations -- they fuck.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Ukyo has another nightmare. And this one is </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wakes up gasping, checking his hands to make sure they weren’t covered in blood like his dream. He can’t breathe. He feels like he’s choking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rolling on his side, he tries to breathe, to fill his lungs. There’s a pressure on his chest, he feels like he’s dying. The cave is dark, wide, but it feels like the walls are closing in on him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The arrow planting itself in the man’s skull is the only thing he can see in his mind’s eye. He can hear it all over again. The sound is one he could never forget. Much like the sound of crumbling statues. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stands up, feet getting twisted in his hide blanket but he manages to stay upright. It was a warm night and he had opted to wear just his pants to bed. And now, he foregoes his tunic again and stumbles out of the cave, realizing he’s making too much noise as it’s a racket to his own senses. It’s so much. The images that flood his memory, the sounds of that instant on repeat and clashing with the current world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s no way he doesn’t alert the whole Kingdom on his way out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Down at the river, where he feels safe, he does what he always does: falls to his knees, focuses on the pain of the rocks through his clothes, covers his ears and tries to breathe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t feel as safe as he usually does. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s harder tonight. For some reason it’s not working this time. His mind is playing voices for him, telling him he’s a murderer. He knows, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows, </span>
  </em>
  <span>that there’s no one whispering behind the tree line and yet he can hear it. He can hear the whole kingdom there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s losing his mind. He wants it to end. He wants the noise to stop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the water’s edge, he plunges his head under water, hoping it would drown out the rest of the world. Just for a moment. Just long enough for him to feel normal. To come back to reality.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once again someone pulls on his shirt and he gasps as he’s yanked away from the water. Coughing, he didn't even realize how long he had been underneath. How much his lungs had been screaming for air until it's filling his chest once again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His back hits the rocks, and then there’s Hyoga. No mask. No spear. No gloves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s hovering over him once again, blocking out the moonlight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga holds Ukyo’s head, pressing his palms against his ears until Ukyo can hear the pulse rushing through them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Relief rushes through him. He’s not alone, he’s not. For once. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo closes his eyes, counts it. Can tell Hyoga’s heart rate is elevated. Wonders why. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Did he run there?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Did Ukyo worry him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was Hyoga the type to be worried?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly his breath comes back to him. Each inhale feels like a chore, like his lungs are exhausted. But then again, he doesn’t think he’s taken a proper breath since he woke up just to nearly drown himself by accident. He opens his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga is close, kneeling over him. He wonders if it was necessary to be sitting, bracketing his hips, but he doesn’t mind. The weight feels grounding. Helps Ukyo hone in on just Hyoga. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeah, he must have run after Ukyo if the way he hadn’t grabbed his cloak or mask is any indication. Ukyo doesn’t think he even has his boots. He tries to picture Hyoga running after him like that. Doesn’t know how to feel about it, what it means. It’s all surreal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s strange how easy it is to forget reality like that. This doesn’t feel like the Hyoga he knows. Without his mask and cloak, his spear on his back, the calm and collected air he puts on, it doesn’t feel real. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This Hyoga with his petrification scars on display, unguarded, heart racing from worry. There’s something special about this Hyoga.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo stays there, has no will to get up. To break the moment. Things he’d like to stay like that for a while if Hyoga lets him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not like he could move very far with Hyoga pinning him down by the hips. His hands still on either side of Ukyo’s head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shifts after a while, uses his left hand to prop himself up. But he doesn’t get up. Doesn’t look like he has any intention to move really. And once again, his right hand slides down his neck, a thumb gliding over Ukyo’s pulse. He swallows hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need to relax,” Hyoga tells him. His voice is low, quiet. The hand on Ukyo’s neck is… gentle. Ukyo would almost call it affectionate. But something about that doesn’t fit quite right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He licks his lips, not really thinking about it or knowing where the words come from when he says, “Why don’t you make me then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga pauses, watches him. His head tilts like he can’t quite believe Ukyo said that either. Just a slight jerk of his head. It makes his hair fall into his eyes more than before. A slow smirk breaks across his face as he looks down at Ukyo under him. He leans down until Ukyo can feel his breath on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah?’ His hand slides up to hold his jaw, thumb just below Ukyo’s lip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In that moment, Ukyo realizes he really just wants to forget himself. To not care about anything. To not think about how his morals have been broken down. How he doesn’t know up from down anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he says. And it’s a breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga closes the gap between his lips. And he’s surprised. He thinks it’s more intimate than what he thought Hyoga would go for. The way he moves his lips against Ukyo’s is… soft. Slow. He’s taking his time. Ukyo returns the kiss. It’s slow but not lazy. Each movement is deliberate as Hyoga uses the hand on his jaw to tip Ukyo’s head back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His thumb strokes along his jawline, the rest of his fingers wrapping around the back of his neck. His large palm against Ukyo’s throat. Not applying pressure. Just staying there, holding him down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It makes Ukyo feel grounded. And that’s when he realizes that this is actually happening. The rocks dig into his back, the night air cold on his skin. He shivers. Realizes this could get uncomfortable quick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Hyoga presses their mouths together harder, the rocks dig harder against his shoulder blades. Without the delirious panic from before, it just hurts. He winces, hissing and flexing away from the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga lifts off of him and without the added weight, Ukyo lifts onto his elbows. He watches as Hyoga reaches behind himself, his cloak is on the ground, discarded. He must have grabbed it but hadn’t had a moment to put it on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s just out of his reach. So he lifts into a crouch, grabs it and throws it at Ukyo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stand up for a sec,” he instructs, kicking some of the larger rocks away from the area so Ukyo can lay the hide cloak on the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The whole thing has him too aware in the moment. Back to reality, even if it is a little warped in the way the moonlight changes everything. It forces him to recognize just what he’s agreeing to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wishes he was more surprised at the excitement that curls in his gut.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With the shifting around complete and Ukyo is no longer at risk of tearing up his skin, Hyoga gets back in his space. He’s between Ukyo’s legs this time as he pulls him back in. Kissing him, one hand at his jaw, the other sliding down to his leg.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grabs him by the back of the knee and pulls. With a gasp, Ukyo falls on his back, his legs on either side of Hyoga’s waist where he kneels between them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Part of him wants to say something about the rough treatment, but then Hyoga’s leaning back in, lips pressing into his neck, and he can’t say that he cares, really. He gets lost in it. The sensual way Hyoga’s lips mouth along his neck, down to his collarbones, across his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One hand slides up to his hips, palming the front of his pants and his fingers dig into Hyoga’s shoulders. He’s distinctly reminded that it’s been a </span>
  <em>
    <span>long</span>
  </em>
  <span> ass time since he’s had any sort of encounter like this. He’s almost nervous for a moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As his nerves spike, the world around him becomes loud. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly he can hear the water rushing just a meter away. It’s noisy, berating his senses without care to his situation. In the distance, he can hear the Kingdom stirring. It seems that they didn’t go unnoticed earlier. He shouldn’t be surprised, he knows that he must have been a sight stumbling through with no shirt and near hyperventilating.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And a half naked Hyoga running after him would have looked quite odd to their populace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s completely tuned into what they’re saying, now. Wondering what’s going on. Someone asks if it was a lover’s quarrel and Ukyo’s stomach swoops. He doesn’t know if he wants this to be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>known </span>
  </em>
  <span>arrangement before it ever even happens.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This spot by the river isn’t one that’s frequented. That’s why he always came to this specific spot. One had to climb over a slight outcropping to get here, something easy for Ukyo even in his worst state. But most of their citizens couldn’t be bothered with that when the rest of the river was perfectly fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Regardless, it was still distracting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga bites at his shoulder, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ukyo hisses in pain, once again debates on arguing. But it feels nice enough. Thinks he can learn to like the rough treatment. But </span>
  <em>
    <span>admitting </span>
  </em>
  <span>it might be difficult.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Focus on me, Ukyo-kun.” Hyoga’s lips are at his ear. His voice vibrates low, sending shivers down Ukyo’s spine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It works though. The noise in the distance becomes a low hum. Maybe a bit annoying, but nothing overwhelming like a moment before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And now he’s promptly aware of the way Hyoga’s stroking him through his pants. His interest finally starts to show now that he can enjoy it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There you go,” Hyoga presses a wet, open mouthed kiss to his jaw. Ukyo sighs, tries to consciously focus on him and the sensations. Not the noise in the distance. He feels himself get hard under Hyoga’s touch until he’s pulling away, sitting up, and working at the fastenings of Ukyo’s pants. “Just keep focusing on me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he does. He takes in the man above him. All hard lines and angles, built muscle that Ukyo would be lying if he said he didn’t want to wrap himself around. Hyoga’s eyes have been open this whole time. Pinning him down with every look. He’ll never get used to that effect he has.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then Ukyo’s naked before him, laid out on the ground, legs spread. Hyoga’s eyes rake up and down his body. Lingering on his stomach, his half hard cock. He feels small under him but he doesn’t mind the feeling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can see that Hyoga’s starting to tent underneath his own clothes and it dawns on Ukyo that they’re missing something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s lifting his leg again, fingers running along the back of his thigh. When they get to the curve of his ass, Ukyo finally speaks up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh.” The second the sound is past his lips, Hyoga’s eyes are on him. “How’s this going to work?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gets a slow blink in response. “...I’m going to fuck you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo feels himself flush. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>obvious </span>
  </em>
  <span>so why is he cringing so hard? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yeah,</span>
  </em>
  <span> but we’re kinda.. missing something.” Why is he so embarrassed about this? Has it really been that long that he’s back to blushing at everything sexual?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga looks at him, raises an eyebrow, clearly confused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo scowls to hide how much he wants to cover his face when he says. “Lube, Hyoga.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That earns him a scoff from the man. “Yeah sure, let me just run down to the 7/11, I’ll be right back. Ukyo what did you think I was going to do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From where he is underneath him, Ukyo looks everywhere else except straight at him when he shrugs. He stills sees the eyeroll Hyoga gives him before he leans down on his knees. Bending Ukyo’s knee and pushing his leg up until he’s totally exposed and Hyoga’s face is </span>
  <em>
    <span>right there. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He throws Ukyo’s other leg over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The image is hot. Even the annoying buzz of noise in the distance pales in comparison to his interest in what Hyoga is going to do next with the way he’s holding eye contact. His jaw is rolling back and forth like he’s thinking. The way the motion pulls at his petrification scars is… Ukyo can’t look away. It’s alluring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He breaks eye contact for just a moment and Ukyo thinks he’s going to say something but then Hyoga is spitting on his rim. He can feel it run down and he wants to be grossed out but he’s more annoyed that he’s kind of into it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s fingers start to massage at the rim and he sucks in a breath. Yeah it’s been a while since he’s even done this to himself. He forgot how nice it was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like I said, Ukyo-kun,” Hyoga says, and he’s leaning down even more. “You need to relax.””</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then Hyoga is licking the full length of his cock from base to tip and he can’t even begin to be annoyed at anything anymore. He lets his head roll back for just a moment, lost in the feeling and a little out of himself when Hyoga sucks on the head. He feels one finger push past his rim and he forces himself to breathe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just like that,” Hyoga’s voice is soft, lower than normal. It’s doing something for Ukyo to hear the sheer </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanting</span>
  </em>
  <span> in his voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a moment he manages to get a hold of himself just enough to lean forward again, propping himself on his elbows so he could see what was happening. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His jaw falls open at the sight. One of his legs is still over Hyoga’s shoulder to keep Ukyo open while his head bobs up and down Ukyo’s length. His other hand is underneath him. One finger stretching him slowly. Helping him adjust.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He breathes heavily through his mouth. Tries to relax. It works because soon Hyoga is leaning back to spit on him again, slipping a second finger in with the first and pumping them both slowly. It’s been a while, and he can </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel </span>
  </em>
  <span>it. The stretch stings, but with the way Hyoga is very clearly enjoying going down on him, Ukyo’s well distracted enough that it doesn’t hurt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a moment, he leans back just a little again to look at Ukyo. “Been a while?” He checks in, a third finger at his rim. Ukyo nods, swallows hard against his drying throat. “You’re not gonna blow your load already, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo makes a face at him. “It may have been a while but I’m not a teenager.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga raises an eyebrow. “You sure? You’re kind of short.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo kicks at his back and Hyoga dramatically hisses. “Shut up, I’m older than you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Smirking into a silent laugh, Hyoga gives him a look for that. “I was kidding, but if you think you can keep up, old man.” Ukyo is about to argue back at him but then he’s sucking the head back between his lips </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard, </span>
  </em>
  <span>cheeks hollowed, at the same time he presses his two fingers to Ukyo’s prostate and Ukyo is gasping for air.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He barely holds himself up right, legs shaking, but he’s not going to let himself cum yet. He feels Hyoga slip a third finger in and the tinge of pain in the stretch gets lost in the pleasure. He exhales shaky. Thinks he’s starting to recall how to make himself relax. Starts to get impatient.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wiggles his hips a little. “I’m ready,” he says and his voice is an unsteady breath. Hyoga pulls off of him, still pumping his fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sure?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo nods, throws his arm over his eyes to compose himself for a moment. In the distance, he can hear someone stumble down to the river but they’re no where near their spot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he uncovers his eyes, Hyoga’s undressed himself the rest of the way. He’s hard against his stomach, and yeah maybe Ukyo should have let him prep a little longer but he doesn’t care just then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga leans down one more time to spit on his rim, as he comes back up Ukyo scowls.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hurry up,” he’s still got one leg over Hyoga’s shoulder so he twists his leg until his knee bops him in the ear. Hyoga looks down at him in disbelief.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is hate fucking for you isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You gonna give me a reason to hate you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That seems to surprise Hyoga for just a second before he recovers and says. “Do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>me to?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No I want your dick in me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That makes Hyoga laugh. And then he’s pushing in, slowly, agonizingly slow, and Ukyo sucks in a harsh breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Relax,” he leans down, back to the sensual, deliberate touches and kisses at his neck. One hand is holding his leg up. It soothes up and down the skin of his thigh, and he pushes in until he’s fully seated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo pants beneath him, tries to focus on the way Hyoga is kissing at his neck. Thinks he wouldn’t mind if he left a mark there, his tunic would hide it, so why not?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga must have the same idea because he parts his lips and bites down on Ukyo’s neck, sucks. It makes Ukyo shiver. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga shifts, waiting for Ukyo to adjust but clearly losing patience. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can move.” He hopes that if there’s ever a next time, they can somehow get some sort of lube.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At his okay, Hyoga sits up just enough to get leverage, starts to rock into Ukyo at a steady pace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The drag is maddening. There’s friction, it’s not as wet as he’d like it to be, but Hyoga is angling his hips to hit all the right spots so he honestly can’t complain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With the man’s body out of reach, Ukyo reaches above his head, seeking to twist his fingers in the hide as the pace picks up. When Hyoga hits the right angle to hit his prostate dead on, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>moans</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He would be embarrassed if it didn’t feel so good. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That brings a self satisfied smirk to Hyoga’s face and he shifts to hold Ukyo’s free leg by the knee, the other gripping his hip, and he starts to drive into him. He can’t hold back the way moans break free from his throat, or the way he instinctively listens to check if anyone is close enough to hear. Hates that it’s still at the forefront of his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He loses his focus for a second, tries to shake himself back out of the distraction. Hyoga must be able to tell cause he’s letting out the lowest rumble in his throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look at me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo’s eyes snap up to meet his as his hips pound into him. He can barely keep his eyes open, and the sight of Hyoga’s fierce gaze has him pinned down where he is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It works, for now, to bring him back in until he’s a moaning mess under Hyoga. His throat is sore, fingers twisting in the blanket above his head. And then Hyoga reaches for his dick and starts pumping him in time with his pace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The build up rolls through him, legs shaking, his knee twisting where it’s still resting on Hyoga’s shoulder. He sounds loud to his own ears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo comes fast, doesn’t even realize that he’s reached his peak until it’s already happening. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without lube, Hyoga pulls out, reaches down to get himself off with his hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He curls over Ukyo to bury his face in his neck as his hand pumps, kissing hot on his skin. Ukyo brings his hands down to curl in his hair, pulls a little bit in encouragement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It works, because then Hyoga is cursing and Ukyo can feel his hot cum splatter on his abs. They’re both breathing heavy, sweating, sticky. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo can feel the cum cooling on his stomach and the night air on his bare legs has him shivering just a little. It makes Hyoga pull back until he’s on his knees again, reaching for the bottom edge of his cloak. He tears off a piece easily, and it doesn’t even stand out the way it’s so frayed at the edge. Surprisingly gentle, he uses this to clean Ukyo down as best he can before tossing the piece in the river to disappear down stream. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you stand?” He asks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo thinks so, and he nods, pushing himself up onto his elbows first and feeling his head swim. Hyoga backs up to give him space, standing to get dressed and finds Ukyo’s pants as well. They dress in silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What should he say? Does he need to say anything, really?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels… better. He has to admit. The tension and the fear that had him laden down earlier is nearly gone. Minimal. The sounds in the distance are a constant reminder, but the entire world feels softer in that moment. His nightmare is a vague memory. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>tired. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Thanks to Homura he managed to sleep a few hours at least, but he was still running on weeks with little to no sleep. He wonders if he could finally pass out like this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gathering his cloak, Hyoga waits for him to regain his bearings before they head back together. The whole Kingdom saw Hyoga run after him before, so it doesn’t matter if they walk back together now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stay a few paces apart, it’s not awkward. Ukyo thinks that forcing contact would be worse. And no one is awake anyways to say anything. Everyone still up and about are in their shelters. No one is paying attention to them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they finally get back to the cave, they creep past a sleeping Tsukasa and go to their separate sleeping pallets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo falls asleep the second his head hits the pillow.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>For the love of god, don't use spit for lube. I hope we all know that by now.</p><p>We actually *cAN* go to the 7/11 so. Please.</p><p>See you next time y'all.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. What the hell he’s gotten himself into</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello no sure what I was gonna say here. </p><p>It's 1 am and I'm on very little sleep but in honor of the end of Stone Wars, I will be dumping chapters over the next few days. </p><p>ALSO HELLO, my friend Vivi drew art work of *that scene* of Ukyo firing the arrow.<br/>Her art is so damn good, go hype her up please.</p><p>https://twitter.com/zijiart/status/1372902789110759425?s=21</p><p> </p><p>TW for the chapter: mentions of sex and potential injury from sex, heavy dissociation, (proper) lube</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>The next morning, when he wakes up sore in the ass but not as tired as he had been, he decides that it wasn’t the best sex he’s ever had, but definitely the most interesting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But what else could he expect?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had sex on a river bed, on thin hide over rough ground, with spit for lube. It was dry, not nearly as wet as Ukyo would have liked. If not for Hyoga having skill in this department, Ukyo was sure he would have been injured. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t. He goes back down to bathe first thing in the morning and checks himself over. And for that he counts himself lucky. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And with that crisis over, now he’s got to process the fact that </span>
  <em>
    <span>he had sex with Hyoga. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The morning noise isn’t as loud as usual. A dull drone in the background. He can hear the training grounds running as usual, the pounding of men running in tandem. It reminds him of the military. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s more to the Kingdom too. He can hear the gatherers talking in the distance. Nothing specific really. There’s loud, </span>
  <em>
    <span>loud</span>
  </em>
  <span> laughter and Ukyo figures Taiju must have gone with them today.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the river, he pulls himself up on a rocky ledge, arms folded under his chin while he lets the cool water flow across his lower half. It’s getting later in the year he thinks. The water isn’t warm anymore, but it’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>cold, </span>
  </em>
  <span>yet. He’s dreading winter. Knows it’s coming up faster than he would have liked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An image pops into his mind. Staying warm with Hyoga through the cold months.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s surprisingly okay with the idea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He starts from there. Thinks about the whole thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga was good at sex. If he could make dry and unplanned outdoor sex feel good the way he did… Ukyo was curious what things would be like if they prepared a little bit more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It strikes him as unexpectedly fitting that Hyoga would be as attentive as a partner as he was. The way he was able to read people from across the training field, that level of intuition, perhaps it went deeper than combat and tactical use.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe Hyoga was better with people than Ukyo realized.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>murderer. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He’d killed a man in front of Ukyo. He crushed statues like they were simple inconveniences. How does beinggood with people translate into killing?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo thinks of the man who nearly hit that woman in the throne room last month. Perhaps Hyoga had expected that from the man for a while? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Hyoga is the type to run after him in concern… then maybe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or maybe, it hadn’t been concern that made Hyoga chase after him last night. Maybe it was frustration. Annoyance. Maybe he was sick of Ukyo waking him up at night and he decided to finally just do something about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe he had caught onto the way Ukyo was attracted to him. The way he had listened to Hyoga’s hook-ups, even if not by </span>
  <em>
    <span>choice. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Only to spend the whole night awake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe it was just for his own gain there, too. Had Ukyo just been a conquest to him? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It would make sense. This way if they were to make this a </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing, </span>
  </em>
  <span>then it would be easier than the horticulturist coming to the cave. Someone at his same rank. No chance anyone would blame him of favoritism. More secrecy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>God, did Ukyo even want it to be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes. That’s a yes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he wishes he was more ashamed of that fact. But if he was a conquest to Hyoga, then maybe that could be mutual. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Holy shit he was thinking about being fuck buddies with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>murderer.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There you are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo startles. His movements feel delayed to his tired senses. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks up, blinks. He should have known it was Homura. She’s the only one that could sneak up on him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s looking down at him from the top of the rocky out cropping a few meters away. The one he has to climb over to get to this favorite spot of his. As always, he can’t read her, she’s as closed off as ever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something like shame curls in his gut as he looks at her. Thinks about how she’s so </span>
  <em>
    <span>attached </span>
  </em>
  <span>to Hyoga. Wonders if she realizes what happened last night. She could have snuck up on them and he’d have never heard her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her upper lip curls, just slightly. “Why are you staring like that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Is he staring? He didn’t realize. He looks down at himself in the water, realizes that his toes have gone numb from the cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How long had he been in there?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did the water freeze your brain or something?” She steps down -- a whole meter and a half -- from the rocks like it’s the last step on a staircase, and walks over to him. Crouches down. “Hey.” she snaps her fingers. “Did he fuck you stupid?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blinks at her again. Thinks he wants to get out of the water but doesn’t want to expose himself to her. “You know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? He told me.” She takes in his reaction. He must be easy to read but he can barely feel his skin so he wouldn’t know. “I’m not into him like that, I don’t care who he fucks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thinks he nods. Everything feels heavy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit, you need to get out of the water, dude,” she steps back, walks over and volts herself over the outcropping in a few succinct motions like it’s an easy hurtle. “I won’t look, don’t worry, it’s not like I don’t see more dick these days than I ever wanted to anyways…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeah, he can’t even begin to work through this conversation, yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why was he so out of it? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He forces himself out of the water, shakes out his hair, finds the hide he uses as a towel rolled up next to his clothes and pats himself dry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he’s dressed, he skips his hat, not wanting it to get soaked from his hair. Now that he’s moving, feeling coming back to his skin, the world feels like it’s speeding back up to normal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Ukyo is </span>
  <em>
    <span>freezing. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wonders again how long he had been in the water for, but at least he feels better physically. The soreness in his back isn’t as bad either. Now he just has to hope the shivering doesn’t make it worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“All good?” Homura asks from where she’s leaning against the other side of the rocks when he climbs over a few minutes later. “Still spacy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Ukyo shakes out his fringe. “Yeah. A little. What did you need?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You weren’t on your rounds,” she shrugs, “I was curious considering what Hyoga-sama told me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That still surprises him. He wasn’t expecting Hyoga to be the type to kiss and tell. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I cornered him,” She says, and he’s starting to get freaked out by her mind reading. “He didn’t give me much but your neck is a mess dude. I know you can’t see it but.” She looks like she’s trying not to laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo slaps a hand over his shoulder, really just crumples his high collar. Right, no one else would notice as long as he kept his tunic on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you came for what?” Ukyo rubs at his shoulder, feels the sting on his skin underneath. There’s no mirrors so he wouldn’t have known if she didn’t tell him. “To gossip…?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m teasing you,” she says, “He’s looking for you. He asked me to relieve you from your rounds, </span>
  <em>
    <span>but,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>She gestures to the river. “You were playing hooky so I had to find you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t planning on taking so long.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looks at him hard. It’s unsettling the way he can feel her reading him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not okay, is it him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Ukyo wasn't expecting something so direct but he should probably get used to it with her. “No! No. Not him. Just.” He gestures at his ears, “noise. The usual.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her face softens, but it’s still intimidating the way her eyes search his. “You get flashbacks too, right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah.” He wonders if he should really be talking about all this. If he wants to. “Yeah?” He figures she’s probably seen enough to know anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They suck, don’t they?” She walks past him, tugs at his sleeve. “A distraction would do you good. You need to get out of your head.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something about that settles weird in him. But the way she was so quick to turn her back on him so they could start moving made it clear she isn’t looking to give anymore information.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thinks of what Minami said. About the “scandals” she had. She’s so closed off, in her silent motions and direct words. The only emotion she ever seems to let slip being her devotion to Hyoga. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They walk through the kingdom in silence, but Ukyo doesn’t mind. Her company is nice, really. Even if he hates to admit it’s probably just because she’s quiet. The single other person in the kingdom that doesn’t add any extra noise, really.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They pass through the busier paths and Ukyo resigns himself to spacing out harder. His ears take over with the spike of noises now that he’s so close to it all, so he lets his gaze go unfocused. Puts his hat on and tips the brim down so no one will notice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The pounding of footsteps reaches him long before he hears, “Ukyo!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both stop. He knows that voice well enough by now and tries to school his features into something more pleasant before he turns to look up at the horticulturist jogging up to meet him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey! Are you going back up?” He jerks his chin towards Tsukasa’s throne room up the hill. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Later, right now I’m meeting Hyoga at the training grounds. Do you need something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, perfect!” The man grins, he holds out his hand to show Ukyo a little clay pot. It’s sealed with hide tide down with a crude string. “Can you give this to him? He asked me to make some more.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo takes the little pot, confused as to what’s inside and about to ask when—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s olive oil.” The horticulturist says. He’s got this smile on his face like he knows something. “There’s lots of we found a few more trees recently, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels his face flush red. He doesn’t have to see it to know the embarrassment is clear as day on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Did he—? Did Hyoga really tell him that —?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wait, isn’t this guy Hyoga’s usual hook up, why is he acting so casual?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, is that so.” Ukyo manages to mutter. He’s holding the oil pot like it’s going to jump at him. Hell, at this rate the whole Kingdom was going to know that he and Hyoga had sex.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That Hyoga was apparently planning to have </span>
  <em>
    <span>more </span>
  </em>
  <span>sex with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yep! I gotta go. Have a good day, Ukyo!”  He parts with a conspiratorial wink and Ukyo feels like he’s ready to combust.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t have to turn around to know Homura is trying not to laugh. He can hear her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Staring at the little pot in his hand, he wonders what the hell he’s gotten himself into.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Don't act shy now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here have some cute almost-fluff.</p><p>TW: sexual negotiations, mentions of harassment, slight mentions of potential sexual injury</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Homura parts with him before the training grounds, claiming she’s not interested in the way the men always talked about her when she came around. Ukyo doesn’t blame her. He’s heard more than his fair share of twink comments from Tsukasa’s forces.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chews on his lip as he goes, looking down at the pot of oil in his hands. There’s something about carrying it around that feels revealing. More so than if he were to strip right there for all to see. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stopping on the path, he can hear the training grounds from here. They’re just around this last bend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No one is going to know what’s in this pot. No one has to know anything he doesn’t want them to. He tries to tell himself that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The more he brings attention to it by acting like it’s something taboo, the more people will notice. He needs to not hold it like this little clay pot is going to decide his fate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even though it kind of is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He makes himself drop his hands to his sides. He let’s the feathers around his waist hide it a bit more from view and does his best to look casual as he starts walking again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga is in the center of the training grounds. His spear is on his back, so Ukyo knows that everything is at least at peace. There’s a few men around him, they’ve taken up their spears as they listen to what he says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, Ukyo can hear them from here. It doesn’t take long for him to deduce that Hyoga is teaching a lesson. They ask him about weight distribution. How they should hold their spear to get the most length with the most force. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo finds an easy perch on the rocks and listens. Hyoga hasn’t noticed his arrival yet, so he waits. Watches as Hyoga gestures for one of their spears. Shows them the way to grip it. Corrects them on proper hand positions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s… astounding. To Ukyo. To see Hyoga in such an element. He realizes this must have been his near constant way of being before petrification. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He never really thought about how Hyoga was a teacher before then. And now that the thought is in his mind, it won’t leave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It makes him wonder if Hyoga had always been violent. If he always had thoughts of a culling even back then. He tries to imagine Hyoga being raised in that disciplined environment. Forming those ideals. And yet still teaching students Kudayari and living like anyone else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo can’t decide if this makes him a better person or not. That he at least had some sort of public service despite his beliefs. Did that make up for it? If he never acted on those thoughts despite having them?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then again, it doesn’t really make a difference now that he’s taken the first opportunity to murder those that serve him no use.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In a strange, roundabout way, Ukyo is almost flattered that he’s considered useful enough to sleep with. But… maybe that’s all it is to Hyoga, really. Maybe he’s useful </span>
  <em>
    <span>because </span>
  </em>
  <span>he’ll sleep with Hyoga. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga hands the staff back to the man. Tells him how many reps of practice he should do. Suggests he stay late at the training grounds if it’s still an issue. Then he turns around to walk back over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only suggestion of surprise is the slight pause Ukyo can hear in his footsteps once Hyoga notices him. Beyond that, he does a great job of hiding if he was taken off guard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Should Ukyo wave? Smile? Nod? How does one greet their colleague that they fucked raw the night before?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukyo-kun,” Hyoga is the one to greet him first. Ukyo allows the slightest smile. “Homura found you then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he nods, “What did you need?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga looks over his shoulders at the men behind him. They’re following his suggestions, critiquing each other. It’s one of the more constructive moments he’s witnessed so far. One of the more willingly disciplined. Ukyo is impressed that Hyoga can elicit good habits from people like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s walk,” he suggests, nodding back the way Ukyo came. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo drops off the spot of the rocks he had climbed up on easily. Lands closer to Hyoga than he was planning. He’s grateful that the other doesn’t react but he feels his own ears go hot. The path their taking is a bit of a backway. It leads directly to the throne room cave rather than the makeshift barracks most of the men come from. And while it also leads through the village, no one outside the combat troops ever visits the grounds, leaving that stretch of path generally empty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is anyone coming?” Hyoga asks, once they’re well secluded away from the grounds and before the village. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo shakes his head. “I don’t think anyone has reason to come out here right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga stops then and he does the same, looking up at him. His eyes are narrowed almost shut, most of his face hidden by the mask. It’s nearly impossible to read him, even by his posture. Ukyo keeps his hat tilted down to try and do the same. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It makes Hyoga raise a brow at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo immediately feels his face heat up. He uses his free hand to rub at his eyes, like he could hide. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t act shy now,” Hyoga mutters. Ukyo grimaces and doesn’t look up. “Are you okay today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm?” Ukyo does look up at him at that. Gives up on trying to remain aloof. “Is that what you wanted to ask?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga says nothing, just waits for his answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s surprising but Ukyo goes with it. He shrugs unevenly. “Sore, but not as bad as I could be. Thanks for that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Ukyo looks up he can see that Hyoga’s opened his eyes just slightly to observe him. He really wishes he could get a better read on the guy. If only he would talk more so Ukyo could try to judge his tone at least. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lifts up the clay pot in his hands. “I was asked to give this to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tentatively, Hyoga takes the bottle from him. “Ah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It leaves him near shell shocked when he notices the slightest, </span>
  <em>
    <span>barest hint of </span>
  </em>
  <span>(but still very much there) a blush on Hyoga’s cheekbones above his mask. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo barely contains himself from reacting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>cute.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that’s a word Ukyo never expected to associate with Hyoga.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He would do something like this…” Hyoga says, and Ukyo can hear a smile in his voice, even if it’s bitter. Finally, some kind of reaction. “But I guess it saves me the trouble.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Trouble for what?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tilts the clay pot in his hands. It looks even smaller in Hyoga’s grip. His gloved hands engulf the pot almost entirely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Finding a way to breach the topic.” He answers and the blush is almost gone. Good, Ukyo isn’t sure if he would be able to have this conversation with that image. “I was going to ask if you would want to make last night a more regular arrangement.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arrangement. Right. It was all just sex to Hyoga, nothing more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was kind of a relief to Ukyo. He could deal with just sex. That way he didn’t have to think about their moral differences. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” It’s easy, really. To agree to that. Ukyo can’t say he’s not curious to know what sex with Hyoga could be like under more comfortable conditions. “I might need a day, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga drops his hand and nods. “You’re not injured, right? I didn’t see anything last night but--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” Ukyo assures him. Hearing Hyoga’s consideration makes him feel better about his whole moral dilemma. But he doesn’t need to push it. Then an idea crosses his mind, and he hesitates. Hyoga must notice because he doesn’t say anything for a moment. Let’s Ukyo compose his thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Really, he knows what he wants to ask but. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was it that simple? To just add an extra bit to their arrangement?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is there something on your mind, Ukyo-kun?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He takes a deep breath. Thinks about how well he slept last night despite one of the worst nightmares he’s had since they started. And he bites the bullet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you... “ He hesitates again, swallows the nerves down. “If I have another…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Panic attack?” Hyoga fills in for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo grimaces. “Right, panic attack.” He rubs at his neck, feels the soreness from the marks he’ll never quite see. “Would you help me? Again. Like you’ve done these last few times.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a long pause between them where he feels absolutely scrutinized. He doesn’t know what that means. That Hyoga is studying him so deeply after that. When it was already hard enough to get it out in the first place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo is about to take it back when Hyoga finally responds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That would be fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His tone is void of any judgment, any annoyance. It’s even, level, genuine. But nowhere near sentimental. It’s just… fine. Like he said. Ukyo exhales through his nose as slowly as he can, trying not to let his relief look too obvious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he says at the end of that exhale and looks up at Hyoga. “Then if you don’t mind the next time it happens, if you hear me, then follow me down to the river. And uh,” he gestures at the clay pot in Hyoga’s hands, “bring that, too.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Why do you care?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: dissociation, anxious doom spiraling, self loathing, risky behavior, sexual suggestions</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>It should be more of a surprise that Tsukasa catches on immediately, but really, it’s Ukyo’s fault for assuming the man didn’t hear them come in the night before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They walked back to the throne room together, Ukyo planning to take up his usual spot so he could listen out for the rest of the kingdom before Homura came back from her rounds. Hyoga is keeping pace with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo realizes it’s really the first time they’ve been so publicly casual together. Maybe he’s more obvious than he thought. He wonders how much Hyoga cares. If he wants this to be discrete. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They step just inside the cave’s opening and Tsukasa takes one long, hard look at them. The both stop in their tracks, exchange a look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo sweats.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You two,” Tsukasa just sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose. “I could care less. Just make sure whatever your relationship is, it doesn’t interfere with your roles here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It could be worse. Honestly, it’s not even embarrassing. Ukyo thinks he’d feel more chagrined if he wasn’t nearly convinced that Tsukasa isn’t entirely straight himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though he could. But Ukyo has his own theories there, too. He’s far too hung up over the scientist’s whereabouts in a primitive world for it to not include some kind of … passion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It won’t change anything,” Hyoga promises. Ukyo nods. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then the conversation is over and Tsukasa is mentioning the fact that Gen will be leaving within a few days. He’s concerned that the mentalist will get lost or injured. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should we send Homura?” Hyoga suggests. “She’d be far more capable of this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A drop of panic settles in Ukyo’s gut. He knows Senku is alive out there, that whoever is sent to find him, will succeed. If Homura was to go, there was no doubt in Ukyo’s mind that she would follow her orders exactly. Perfectly. And return the intel to the Kingdom without hesitation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which is exactly what Ukyo is worried about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can’t say he trusts Gen. But even he can tell that the mentalist’s loyalties to Tsukasa’s Kingdom are purely survival based. He’s only following orders because it’s the best course right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But if he came across a better alternative, then maybe he wouldn’t be so inclined to sell out Tsukasa’s biggest threat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s what Ukyo has to bet on. From Taiju and Yuzuriha’s faith in Senku’s abilities, he needed to bet on Gen’s survival instincts and ability to determine who has the greatest advantage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I agree with Tsukasa that Gen’s the better option,” Ukyo speaks up, unprompted for once. That has them both turning to listen to him. He folds his arms. “We revived Gen for this reason, right? We need someone who can outsmart Senku if he’s found.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But if we sent Homura, she would just report back to us, it would be over,” Hyoga countered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but if we send Gen, he might be able to collect information before returning,” Ukyo leans his head to the side as he makes his argument. He tries to keep his voice the way he always does. Like he’s betting on Gen staying loyal and Senku being dead. “If Senku is alive, who knows what he’ll have prepared. Homura is smart, but she’s not a master manipulator like Gen is. There’s a difference.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That is true.” Hyoga concedes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then we’ll go with the plan,” Tsukasa agrees. “Ukyo, would you take him with you on some rounds the next few days? Help him adjust to the terrain.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Trying not to grimace from how much that would slow him down, Ukyo, of course, accepts the orders. It would give him a chance to get a better read on Gen anyways. “I’ll tell him to join me from tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukasa gives him a slight smile, inclines his head. “Perfect. Then this should all go smoothly.” </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day, Ukyo waits at the throne room for Gen to show up. It’s early, by the sun, Ukyo can tell it’s still a few hours to noon. The air is cool. He knows that by the afternoon it’ll be plenty warm, but right now the weather promises for a colder night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It must be Fall by then. Late September if he had to guess. If not already October. His birthday must be soon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The nights would start getting colder, fast. He would need to talk to Yuzuriha about producing some fur blankets and coats for the Kingdom. Get an estimate as to how many pelts she’d need for that to tell the hunting team. They used every scrap of any animal they brought in, but if she needed a specific hide, they’d have to go looking. Boar didn’t make for good blankets, after all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gen approaches the throne room at a steady pace. He seems to at least have adjusted to the general rounds of the kingdom. That was usually the hardest part for new revivals. One usually underestimates how much stairs and paved roads save on human exertion until suddenly they’re without such luxuries. Having to climb up the rocky hill to the throne room was hell on untrained legs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s only a little winded, Ukyo is satisfied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll take it slow,” Ukyo reassures him. “I don’t expect you to complete the trip on day one, so just be honest if you need a break.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, don’t worry Ukyo,” Gen chimes back. His voice is loud to Ukyo’s ears. It’s easy to hear how false the front is, but he doesn’t show that. “I’m tougher than I look.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It only takes about half a kilometer before Gen is tripping over a tree root and nearly hyperextends his knee. Ukyo manages to catch him at the last moment before he could go down, pulling him back by his clothes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gen thanks him, not unkindly, but his cheerfulness is more forced than ever and he’s already sweating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s make it to the first surveillance point then I’ll walk you back in,” Ukyo tells him. They’re not even a fraction of the way through. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was never much for hiking,” Gen tries to joke. He’s standing way too close to be so loud but Ukyo doesn’t say anything. “What are the chances our dear Tsukasa would give me an extra week to prepare.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo side eyes him under the brim of his hat. He knows to watch every move he makes around Gen. Every word that comes out of his mouth needs to be carefully considered. “Let’s see how you do this week, first.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s enough. For a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then Gen’s trying to start up conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo manages to keep his answers short for now. It’s obvious that the man is fishing for information. For intel on the types of people Tsukasa and Hyoga are. But it won’t last long, he can hear the way Gen is running out of breath. All he needs to do is wait until the mentalist can’t keep up his act and let them fall back into silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Gen doesn’t stop. Even when he’s out of breath and panting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We still have a kilometer to go, it’s three between each surveillance point,” Ukyo tells him, “You might want to save your breath. Don’t hurt yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gen shuts up after that but Ukyo can feel his gaze on his neck when he takes the lead. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo doesn’t finish his rounds until late. Getting Gen to the first surveillance point had seemed like a reasonable goal for the first day but he failed to consider the man had little more than a treadmill gym routine before petrification. And stationary, flat walking is hardly comparable to the grounds around them in the stone world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It made him thankful for his military background, and not for the first time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once Gen had made it to the first surveillance point, a dead tree that could easily be climbed, and waited while Ukyo climbed up easily. He had made a comment about how Ukyo was barely winded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You really are at their level, aren’t you?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He had said. It made Ukyo pause, the hesitation hidden by the way he was scoping out the horizon. He checked for storm clouds or changes in the landscape. Tsukasa had said there was a girl who managed to hold her own in their encounter, so they needed to keep an eye out for potential others in the Stone World. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he did what only he could do, lets his eyes unfocus and stretch his hearing to its limit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nothing out of the ordinary for this area. The surveillance points over lapped a little, but it was fine. There was some animal movement that was a bit strange at most.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Investigating that gave Gen a moment to catch his breath and Ukyo a chance to feel less scrutinized. It was a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>mountain lion </span>
  </em>
  <span>of all things. Most likely a descendent from the zoo cats, much like the lions were. He’d have to let the other two know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gen had only freaked out a little to hear there was a carnivorous predator but otherwise handled it well. Making more comments about Ukyo’s agility to not have attracted the thing after him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo shrugs it off. It doesn’t hurt for him to know that he’s not all talk in his position. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ended up having to piggyback Gen when his shoes wore through. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And again, Ukyo was </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>thankful for his military background. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t eat dinner with the rest of them. He feels the budding anxiety of a bad night building up. The constant reminders that he was “just like the other two” wearing him down over the hours. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now his mind wouldn’t stop whispering at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re just like them.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re a murderer.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How can you judge their actions when you’re just the same?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He goes down to the river, doesn’t even bother to take his bow and quiver back to his designated quarters. Just sheds everything as he walks to the river's edge, pulling the little square of basic glycerin soap he keeps with him in case he gets wounded on rounds, and jumps in the water.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>cold. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He breaks through the surface with a gasp, shivering already. He had just been there the day before last to bathe, how was it already freezing like this?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps it was already winter up river in the mountains. That was the only thing that made sense. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Regardless, it pulls his mind back into the present, out of the harsh judgment of his inner thoughts. He washes himself quickly, thoroughly, not looking to risk infections in the Stone World. Their only “antibiotic” is garlic, none of them could afford to cut corners on the little hygiene they had available. He finger brushes the soap on his teeth and ignores the bitter taste before pulling himself back onto the rocks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s freezing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ass naked, he crouches at the water's edge, curls in on himself, tries to retain body heat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He should have gone back first. Gotten one of the scrap hides he could use to dry himself. Now he’s left to air dry and he can’t stop shivering.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The feeling of self loathing creeps back in and he squeezes his eyes shut against it. Tries to count his breaths.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Back in the Kingdom, they’re in the middle of dinner, and Ukyo can hear them all from there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s jeering and boisterous laughter. A woman laments how dry the meat is. How simple the stew is. Sure they had a master of plants, but most things had to be saved for medicinal uses. Flavor was a luxury they couldn’t afford for now. Someone reminds her of that. They bicker.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Two men get into a fight over the softest part of meat. It ends with a threat for them to behave. Someone suggests they save it for Ukyo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His stomach rolls at the thought of eating.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why would I share my food with them? They’d just as soon leave me for dead if it came to it.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo hugs his knees, rests his forehead there. He thinks he must look pathetic. Shivering and naked and panicking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Get yourself together, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he tells himself. He needs to get over this. He needs to move on. He can’t keep falling apart every time he’s alone for more than five minutes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, he forces himself to his feet. Using his tunic to pat the water off his legs, he figures he can let it dry before he gets dressed. Anything to avoid the rest of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulls on his pants at least, collects the pieces of his clothes before they could get any dirtier, and goes to sit on a boulder. Leans back against the outcropping’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s still cold, but at least with his pants on he feels a bit more dignified. He pulls his legs up, hugs himself to stay warm. And tries to focus on the sounds around him that don’t include humanity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Some time later, that’s how Hyoga finds him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t skip meals, Ukyo-kun,” he says by way of greeting, jumping down from the outcropping and walking up to the ledge Ukyo’s propped himself on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm,” he blinks. The only idea of how long it’s been is the way his skin is dry, hair just a little damp.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s got a torch this time, leaves it on the rock beside Ukyo. Reaches to check how wet his hair is still. The warmth of the small fire makes Ukyo shiver.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a fool,” Hyoga sighs in his lilting voice. Drops the strands of Ukyo’s hair and raises an eyebrow at the lack of response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Homura said you let the river freeze your senses the other day, now I see what she means.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And with that, he’s taking off his cloak -- Ukyo realizes just then he doesn’t have his spear -- and throws it around Ukyo’s shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Ukyo asks, his voice sounds like a croak. He clears his throat. “Why do you care?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga pauses, moves the fire out of the way of lighting the hide. Appraises how serious Ukyo is. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not even fall yet, Ukyo-kun,” he reminds him, “If you keep this kind of behavior into winter it’ll be suicide. We can’t risk losing your assets like this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo snorts, “my </span>
  <em>
    <span>assets, </span>
  </em>
  <span>right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That earns him a hard look. It’s enough to have Ukyo rethinking the snark. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I may not be fond of those who serve no purpose, but I’m not heartless,” he tells him, looking him in the eye. “If I had anything other than respect for you, you would know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo searches his face, thinks that he can’t find any degree of exaggeration or falseness in his voice. It’s genuine. He thinks that for Hyoga, that may as well have been a declaration of friendship. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Swallowing hard against his dry throat, Ukyo nods. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Satisfied, Hyoga turns to his side to lean his hip against the boulder. “Did it happen again?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo frowns.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A panic attack.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo grimaces. “Not… not quite. But I haven’t counted it out yet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then you came here, why? Preemptive measure?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A rueful smile pulls at Ukyo’s mouth. He kicks his legs forward, already feeling warmer. He pulls Hyoga’s cloak tighter around his shoulders, holds one of his hands over the fire to try and bring feeling back to his fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” Hyoga hums, leans down for a moment, pulls something out of the top of his boots. It’s the little clay pot from the other day. Ukyo wonders how he fit it inside his boots, they were so tight to his legs. Not that Ukyo was </span>
  <em>
    <span>looking </span>
  </em>
  <span>but the choice of clothes Yuzuriha had given him are hard to ignore. “Then how about a distraction? As another preemptive measure?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He places the clay pot on the rock beside Ukyo. He stares at it. Feels his gut stir. Thinks a distraction sounds like exactly what he needs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I could use some more help warming up.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. For a moment, he doesn't feel real</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>**PLEASE READ**</p><p>Okay more smut. Please be mindful of the tags and trigger warnings. Read all of them before continuing.</p><p>This is the beginning of all the bad coping and kink. Let's GO.</p><p>TW: sex, sexual situations, choking, non-explicit rough sex, pain/anxiety during sex, biting</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>“Still feeling cold then?” Hyoga asks, moving to stand between Ukyo’s legs. The height put’s Ukyo at just above Hyoga’s hips. They’ll have to move at some point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo has a vague recollection of a time he had sex on a counter with his college girlfriend. Remembers it being quite fun and kind of laments that it won’t work out the same here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga puts his hands on either side of his hips, leans into Ukyo. He’s still got his mask on and Ukyo thinks it should be weird but there’s something almost sexy about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He definitely wants to kiss him at some point though, so it’ll have to go eventually. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For now, Ukyo actually</span>
  <em>
    <span> is</span>
  </em>
  <span> cold and can’t imagine getting into it until that’s resolved, so he says, “You tell me,” and puts his bare hands on Hyoga’s chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It earns him a yelp, Hyoga arching away from the touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hands are freezing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just barely holds back his laughter and Hyoga notices.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think that’s funny?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo shrugs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Giving a long tired sigh, Hyoga takes off his gloves and reaches for Ukyo’s hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And starts warming them up in between.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo isn’t sure what he expected but it’s not this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t give me that look, do you have a better idea?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo thinks. “No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Next time, take a bath in the daylight or you’re on your own.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t doubt that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When his hands are unfrozen, Hyoga shrugs like it’s good enough and gets back into Ukyo’s space. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He guesses that there’s really not much to talk about beyond that. So, with his hands free, he reaches up to pull Hyoga’s mask down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The scars around his mouth look haunting in the torch light. But he’s no less attractive for them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo can’t even begin to imagine what his face would have looked like before. Without the black cracks and circles framing his lips. It’s oddly suiting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga watches him as he takes in his scars. For a moment, Ukyo wonders if he’s ever been able to see them. If he knew what they look like. He almost asks him but there’s something about the light in his eyes that makes Ukyo hesitate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just pulls him down to kiss him instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Hyoga goes willingly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With the awkwardness of a first time out of the way, Ukyo thinks he should be scared by how easily he falls into Hyoga. The fur around his neck gets in the way, his hands still holding the mask down enough. But Hyoga’s lips glide on his. One hand moving from the rock to his waist, stroking his bare skin there and reminding Ukyo that he’s half naked under Hyoga’s cloak. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take this off,” He tugs on the mask, reaching around to find the clasp at the back. Hyoga lets him, leaning into his neck while he does. Places wet, open mouthed kisses on his skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo fumbles with the ties but eventually manages to get the canine teeth through the hide fastenings. Hyoga pulls back just to let him pull the whole thing over his head. Careful not to let it fall in the fire, it ends up to the side with the rest of Ukyo’s clothes, and then there’s nothing between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo runs his hands down Hyoga’s chest, takes his time to explore the body he’s been admiring -- albeit reluctantly -- for so long. All the hard planes and angles of him. The way the harsh living conditions have shaped him chiseled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s the type of man Ukyo would have considered out of his league in the past. But here in the Stone World, Hyoga is kissing along his jaw, down his neck, pulling him in for Ukyo to wrap his legs around his waist as he mouths down to his chest. One hand presses against his back to hold his balance, the other hitching his leg up before sliding to palm his ass the best he can in that position. His lips find Ukyo’s own petrification scar, a long jagged thing dividing his torso from breast to hip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he bites </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard, </span>
  </em>
  <span>pulling noise from Ukyo’s throat easier than he’s happy to admit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s when Hyoga gets impatient and gone is the sensual man from a moment before, now he’s lifting Ukyo off the boulder just to turn him around and bend him over it a moment later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It comes to Ukyo’s waist, the angle odd when Hyoga pushes him down. He gasps, face in the cloak that had fallen off his shoulders at some point. He’s grateful for it, tugs it down more to save his skin from what’s coming. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The wide palm that’s spread between his shoulder blades holds him down. The strength there… Well, Ukyo can’t say he’s mad about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s other hand trails down his waist, gets to his ass, palms across both cheeks before he’s using both to drop Ukyo’s pants to the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the second time that night, Ukyo feels exposed, but this time, the air feels warmer. An anticipatory shiver running up his spine to replace the cold chills from before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grabbing the bottle of oil, Hyoga wastes no time. Ukyo sees the hide covering get tossed beside him on the boulder and then there’s a hand sliding down his ass, fingers pushing against his entrance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He presses his forehead to the fabric between him and the boulder. Breathes through the stretch. Sighs when the oil makes it as good as he remembers it was supposed to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can’t say I miss the spit,” Ukyo sighs as the next finger enters. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Other hand smoothing up to grab Ukyo’s shoulder close to the neck, Hyoga chooses then to put pressure on his prostate. Ukyo moans before he manages to bite his hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Admit it, you thought it was hot.” He punctuates the sentence with more pressure and Ukyo nods just for mercy. “Is that all I have to do to get you to agree with me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo curses. “Shut the fuck up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can hear the telling little puffs of a silent laugh from behind him. Smiles into the back of his own hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few  minutes and another finger later, and Hyoga’s pulling his fingers out. Ukyo can hear the sound of him slicking up, thinks he misses the foreplay from last time, just a little bit. But then Hyoga is pushing the head in and Ukyo is thankful for all the oil has to offer them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His jaw drops open in a silent gasp, fingers grabbing at the fabric. He just barely remembers to breathe before Hyoga is fully seated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And yeah it’s different this time. The burn is there, but it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>good. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The oil is wet, and Ukyo can feel every shift Hyoga makes against him without the sting of the wrong sort of friction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A still oiled hand grabs his hip, pulls his ass back flush to Hyoga’s hips, reaching even deeper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo bites his hand again just before he could whine in the back of his throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With one hand on Ukyo’s shoulder to hold him down, and the other on his hip for leverage, Hyoga starts moving. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Holding back any noises becomes a pointless effort, low sounds breaking free of his lips with every hard thrust. Hyoga filling him so every motion drags across his prostate. It’s barely begun and he already feels over stimulated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck.” Hyoga curses behind him, his hand on his shoulder gripping tighter as the pace gets faster, rougher. Ukyo’s left clawing at the fabric of Hyoga’s cloak as he takes it all. Bites the meat of his thumb to quiet himself before he alerts the whole kingdom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s when Hyoga starts to change up his angle, pulling to withhold Ukyo just some of the pressure from before, a move clearly to make him frustrated and normally Ukyo would be into the push and pull but just then --</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Someone in the Kingdom starts yelling. His focus breaks and he can’t help but listen into the noise. The way someone is cursing up a storm. Complaining about wasted food. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Somewhere else, a woman was laughing with her friends. The whole group of them in peals of giggles over something Ukyo missed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Two men clash weapons in the training grounds. Their voices are too low to be heard from this far, but the heavy crash of stone weapon against stone makes it to his ears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s like nails on chalkboard and he tenses.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, it hurts. The next sound from his mouth is one of pain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga stops moving but doesn’t pull out. Ukyo’s glad for that, he doesn’t know if he’d be able to handle the sense of rejection that would come with the motion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wonders why he even thinks that way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukyo,” Hyoga’s leaning over him, chest pressing against his back. “Focus on me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A choked sob breaks through and he nearly swallows it, not wanting to worry the other. The pain isn’t that bad. But between the stimulation and his highly tuned senses, he feels his anxiety furl uncomfortably in his gut. He hates himself in that moment. In such a vulnerable place, he hates how much it seems Hyoga can </span>
  <em>
    <span>see.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he gasps, tries to blink his eyes open against the headache forming. “They’re just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking loud.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga sighs, but it doesn’t sound exasperated in the way Ukyo was expecting. A wide hand roams up Ukyo’s back. The other still firm on his hip. When Hyoga reaches his neck his fingers wrap around to the front, not gripping, not putting pressure. Just showing Ukyo the motion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you like to try something that might help?” Hyoga says, breath hot in Ukyo’s ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Careful not to knock their heads together, Ukyo nods. “Make it stop. Please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hears the smile in the puff of Hyoga’s breath. This close, it’s louder than the sounds of the kingdom, but not enough to drown it out. “Relax,” he’s reminding him, a thumb stroking at his hip bone, standing back up straight. And Ukyo does. He gathers himself again, exhales and lets his body unwind with it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second he’s no longer tense, Hyoga must feel it, cause he’s pulling Ukyo up to his chest by the neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gasping, one hand scrambles to Hyoga’s wrist while the other braces him against the rocks when the thrusting starts back up again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The fingers around his throat are tight, but not suffocating. A silent promise of what’s to come. A very, very strong distraction to pull him away from the noise in the distance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even with all that still berating his senses, he can’t help but tune into the palm at his throat. Fingers wrapped around his neck like a vice. The man behind him pumping ruthlessly into his body. He feels the build up, finally.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not long before Ukyo’s getting lost in it again. Held up by Hyoga’s hand alone as he struggles to stand on his own legs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the thrusts get harder and he starts to slip forward, Hyoga pulls him back up. The flesh between thumb and pointer a simple pressure around his windpipe while his fingers </span>
  <em>
    <span>squeeze.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Blood roars in his ears and the noise stops. His head feels light, dizzy. For a moment he doesn’t feel real. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo sucks in a harsh breath before immediately choking on his own moan when he cums all over the rocks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The grip on his hips is bruising, the rush of breath on his ear as Hyoga curses, pulls them flush together a moment later and bites down </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard </span>
  </em>
  <span>on Ukyo’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Both spent, Hyoga releases Ukyo’s neck, palm spreading on his chest to hold him up. The world rushes back to Ukyo’s senses and if he didn’t feel so good, he thinks he’d probably pass out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As it is, his biggest concern is the way his knees give out. Barely able to hold himself up anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Hyoga is there, both hands around him to hold him up right. Helps to guide him back to lay his front on the boulder, taking the weight off his shaking legs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga smooths his hands up and down Ukyo’s sides as he pants. His breath hurts in his lungs, but his neck feels fine. If anything he already misses the pressure. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That had to be the most intense orgasm of his life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Caging Ukyo in, Hyoga, doesn’t move either. His forehead is pressed against Ukyo’s nape. His breath puffing hot against Ukyo’s skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo thinks it must have been a lot for him, too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a long moment, Hyoga moves, his lips against Ukyo’s ear. “I’m not going far, don’t move.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo offers a grunt in response. Words are hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hears the huff of a silent chuckle before Hyoga is separating. Hands on Ukyo’s hips he pulls out and Ukyo can </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel </span>
  </em>
  <span>the mess between his legs. He cringes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga just curses. Well, at least one of them got something out of the literal mess.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he’s gone completely. Ukyo turns his head, presses his cheek against the rock to watch him go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s still dressed, pulls a square of cloth out of the top of his boot. Ukyo wonders what else he keeps in there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Watching Hyoga clean himself off, he makes a face, thinking that the water must be cold. And when Hyoga returns to take care of him, that’s confirmed, much to Ukyo’s annoyance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>freezing,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he shivers, Hyoga holds him still.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you rather put your pants on like this?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t think so.” When he’s satisfied, he even pulls Ukyo’s pants back up for him. Tucking him inside. “Put your shirt on, it’s getting colder.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo thinks that Hyoga isn’t one to talk walking around in only a skirt and thigh highs but, whatever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Legs still shaky, he walks awkwardly to the pile of clothes they left. Pulls his tunic on and adjusts himself. Forgoes the hat for now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, yes, confirmed: sex with Hyoga is even better with proper lube. He can’t even think much beyond that just yet so he waits for him, leans against the rocks, looks up at the stars fully lit above them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without the light pollution of the past, the full extent of the Milky Way makes everything brighter than he could have imagined. The torch beside him is starting to die. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Done cleaning the cloth and tucking it away, Hyoga returns. For a moment, Ukyo thinks this is going to be like last time, where he’ll be told to clean up and head back. Just two colleagues walking back home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s surprised when, instead, Hyoga gets back into his space, wraps his arms around Ukyo’s waist. Still mask-less, eyes open, searching Ukyo’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of his hands lifts to his neck, his thumb stroking along his throat. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t I be?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess the better question would be, did it work?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo gives him a flat look. “What do you think?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop answering me with more questions.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Ukyo huffs, he’s not sure what to do with his hands, but if Hyoga is going to keep contact then so will he. He raises one hand to hold onto Hyoga’s arm, smooths his palm along the muscle. “Yes, it worked. Well. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An amused smile tugs on Hyoga’s lips. Ukyo thinks that if it weren’t for the scars, it would look soft. He can’t quite imagine that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re thanking me for choking you,” he shakes his head, “My pleasure, truly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can’t help but laugh in response. “I wouldn’t mind doing that again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” Hyoga’s fingers tangle in his hair, angle his head back so he can press a quick kiss to Ukyo’s lips. “Well, guess I know how to keep your attention, then.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well that was fun. </p><p>Another reminder that this is going to be a long, angst heavy fic. But I do plan to have a solid recovery arc in the resolution at the end. </p><p>Thanks for reading this far! I'll drop another update by the end of the weekend.</p><p>Please leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed this, it motivates me to keep posting.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. The world they live in is extreme</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER DUMP</p><p>oof<br/>Okay so basically I wrote a joke in chapter 15 and was so impatient to post it I resolved myself to get up to 16 posted tonight. Thank you to Xy for beta reading a few chapters so I could do that. 11-14 will probably have typos tho.</p><p> </p><p>I'm not sure how I feel about chapter 11 but I've re-read it five times and I don't want to change it so if it's annoying, just make sure you at least read the last stretch. </p><p>OH WAIt</p><p>****please read*****</p><p>The tags have changed. Please check them again and be mindful of the tags</p><p>TW for the chapter: mentions of sex, mentions of canon violence, making out in a river, sexual situations, discussions of the morality of killing in the stone world</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Gen leaves a few days later. Ukyo is just barely satisfied with how he’s able to navigate the wilderness.Gen can make it halfway around Ukyo’s rounds before he gives out and needs to be carried back. If he takes breaks and paces himself, then Gen will be fine. So, he decides he’s going to walk him part of the way out, just to make sue he’s safe as far as Ukyo can. Tsukasa tells him to make it back before dinner, not to skip meals again. So, that’s what he does.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He regrets ever thinking of helping the man when Gen’s immediate impulse is to say,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, do you have anyone special, Ukyo?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t stumble. He doesn’t even react. But on the inside he’s ready to crawl in a hole. A part of him debates on turning around and leaving Gen to fend for himself but that would only confirm whatever suspicions he has about him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He laughs low, “We live in a Stone World, Asagiri Gen, I don’t know what you could be talking about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh come on,” he chimes back playfully, swaying as he walks. At least he’s doing better walking off the beaten path. “You’re a young bachelor, even in the last Stone Age they managed to keep the population going.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo glances at him sideways. Thinks that population has nothing to do with it. Wonders if Gen’s serious and all that he’s heard (everything, most likely, if what his ears pick up is anything to go by). Wonders if he should  play Gen’s game or just tell him to spit it out already. “Can’t say I’ve met my type yet.” Is all he says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mmmm,” Gen draws out the sound, “Not from what I’ve heard.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And there it is..</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Spit it out,” he sighs, he used to be a private person in the old world, “What are you trying to ask, really?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ever so perceptive,” Gen compliments. He’s too cheerful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo stops, looks at him straight. “You’re not even trying to be subtle.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gen gives him a conspiratorial smile. “Perhaps I’m not,” he says, “But fine, I’ll give. I’ve heard rumors that you and our dear Hyoga rendezvous at the river.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He says the French word like it’s something sexual and Ukyo wants to roll his eyes. “And how is that any of your business?” He starts walking again, letting Gen catch up. The slight stumble he hears makes him feel a little better..</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess it’s not but, come on, humor me, there’s not much for entertainment out here.” He gestures around them to the trees. Ukyo never considered that maybe people could be </span>
  <em>
    <span>bored </span>
  </em>
  <span>since they were revived. He’s been too stressed to even consider that. Any down time was precious to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My sex life is entertaining to you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“All sex is entertaining, Ukyo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can’t argue with that.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>After that second time, it should be embarrassing how often Ukyo meets Hyoga at the river. He knew from the first time that Hyoga was a considerate lover, but now that he knows what it’s like when the man doesn’t have to hold back, well…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo wants to make up for lost time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And clearly if the way Hyoga seeks him out just as much, then it’s a mutual feeling. He thinks he has to remember how to keep up. How to be a more receptive lover himself. He refuses to let Hyoga do all the work, all the time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It becomes a habit. One that most of the Kingdom catches onto, much to his dismay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Are those two really..?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fucking knew the guy was a twink.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Damn, all the hot ones are gay.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hears them whispering, gossiping, every time he goes down to the river and Hyoga follows close behind. They talk about it, if it’s something they should care about. Hyoga suggest a few threats to put an end to it and Ukyo decides he can let it go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s harder to focus when he knows the noise is about him now. His senses being pulled away from the present, his stomach in knots, his mind well distracted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Hyoga brings him back, a hand around his neck, every time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo is starting to think he may always need it when they’re together. When he can’t reach to climax because he’s not there in the moment until Hyoga’s pulling him back by force. When all he can focus on are the whispers and the noise, but it just takes the squeeze of Hyoga’s fingers putting pressure on his pulse to make it all turn to white noise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What does that mean for him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It causes him stress some days, but then he realizes that he’s sleeping better now. Too worn out from the sex to think much. The nightmares aren’t as bad either. Even if it’s Hyoga, the touch of another human is more therapeutic than he’d ever realized. Even though he still finds himself spacing out on his rounds, mind somewhere outside his body when he’s at one of his usual perches, it’s easier now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The self hatred that used to stew in his gut, threatening to overwhelm him, is now a dim thought in the back of his mind. Drowned out by the sounds of gossip, good sleep, and the feeling of Hyoga’s skin against his.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not long before Gen returns, and when he does, he looks like he’s been brutalized.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s a primitive village,” he explains, holding his rib cage where he says the worst of the injuries lay. He managed to protect himself, a magic trick with fake blood packs, he says. He’d done it as a precaution when he noticed they used spears. “They weren’t very keen on outsiders.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a relief you made it back alive,” Tsukasa exhales heavily, there’s strain in his voice. Ukyo thinks it sounds a bit like guilt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Imagine that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And Senku?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo manages not to hold his breath. Manages not to show that this affects him at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dead, I presume,” Gen shrugs. “He was nowhere to be found. It seems you have little to worry about, my dear Tsukasa.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A cold shock runs down Ukyo’s spine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gen is lying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo isn’t entirely sure how he knows, but he knows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps it’s the way Gen’s voice is too even. The confidence in it just a touch stronger than his normal lilting tone. Something that wouldn’t normally be able to be heard, but Ukyo’s ears catch it. Even if Taiju and Yuzuriha know Senku is alive, with how Gen looks, there’s no way to really no for sure anymore. And yet...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks at Gen from under his hat where he’s leaning against the stone walls. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gen makes eye contact. Holds it for a second too long. It makes Ukyo’s gut turn, he’s not used to anyone picking up on things the same way he does. Gen turns back to Tsukasa.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s…” their king sucks in a breath through his nose. “A relief.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t sound very relieved if you asked Ukyo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for completing this mission, Gen,” Tsukasa says, and it’s a clear dismissal, “I’m sorry it had to have put your life in danger.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Waving it off with flourish, Gen responds, “Don’t worry about me. Now we can all rest assured your vision will be met with no opposition.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And with that he leaves the three of them in silence. Leaves Ukyo to process what he now knows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Senku is dead,” Ukyo reiterates. His mind is racing and his heart with it. Keeping his face neutral as he needs it to be is hard. This new development and all of its implications aren’t lost on Ukyo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can’t think straight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It would seem so.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But this village,” Hyoga muses aloud, “it may pose an issue in the future, no?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quite frankly, Ukyo doesn’t care about the village just yet. “While you discuss that, I’m going to go do my rounds,” he tells them, standing up off the wall and adjusting the bow on his shoulder. “I want to make sure no one followed him back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good idea,” Tsukasa agrees, “Hyoga can fill you in later.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He makes eye contact with Hyoga (kind of, he’s still squinting, but he’s turned in the right direction). The intent is clear, they’ll meet at the river, then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It must not get past Tsukasa because he sighs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo leaves, starting up a jog the moment he’s on the path down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One thing is true, he needs to make sure there’s no one in pursuit of Gen. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>attacked. That much is certain, and Ukyo needs to scope things out for himself. Make sure the Empire wasn’t about to be under siege. Whether or not he agrees with Tsukasa’s ideals, he’s responsible for the safety of the people here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With the sense of urgency as his excuse, he allows himself to run, exercising the full extent of his prowess to burn off the nervous energy he feels building. Thinks that if he doesn’t release it somehow, it’ll make itself known elsewhere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He breaks through the tree line, takes the path he knows Gen arrived from.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lied to them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taiju and Yuzuriha had been confident that day, and many other moments that Ukyo had caught them discussing their distant friend. There’s no reason for them to lie to themselves. They were confident in Senku’s ability to survive. To handle himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Ukyo thinks that a man of his caliber would be able to convince a few villagers not to kill him. Would be able to make himself useful enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he had science, he had something to offer. Unlike Gen, whose magic tricks and manipulation would very well anger anyone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He runs through the forests. Feet sure in his path. He hasn’t gone out this way very often, yet he’s able to maintain his footing. Maintain his silence. Ensure that he could hear others long before anyone could hear him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What did it mean then? If Senku is alive, Gen would have found him. He would have scoped things out, worked his way into it like the snake he is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then why did he lie? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s only one thing that makes enough sense to Ukyo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Asagiri Gen has betrayed them. He’s sided with Senku.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which means he’s seen enough to believe that Tsukasa will not win this battle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He makes it to the mountain where Tsukasa said he killed Senku back then. Comes to a stop, panting heavily from the exertion, from the revelation of all he’s just processed. He made good timing, too good, he probably didn’t need to rush the way he had, but at least he could spend some time on his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stays there for a moment. Listens to his surroundings. Though they are unfamiliar, he’s confident that he knows the difference between an animal and a human. He listens for pursuit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It gives him a moment to clear his mind, to focus, to not think too hard about it all. He’s so far from the kingdom, there’s nothing. No sound of human life for once. Nothing that can get to him. It’s just… quiet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he’s caught his breath and the sun has reached its peak in the sky, Ukyo is confident that there is no threat making its way to the village. He turns to head back, keeps his pace even this time. Debates on if he should confront Gen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But no. No, it’s not the time. For now, it’s best that no one knows of Ukyo’s plan to betray Tsukasa. His rank is too high to risk. If he stays silent, allows no one to suspect him, then he can act the most efficiently. He can influence the Kingdom from the top down as he needs to, as long as no one knows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before he reaches the kingdom, he’s properly schooled his features back to normal. Makes sure he’s as stoic as always. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He makes his way down to the river.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Today is warmer than it has been, surprisingly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s warm enough that when he finds Hyoga by the river before sunset, they take the chance to bathe together. Enjoying what may be the last day of tolerable water before it gets colder and colder. Ukyo wonders how they’ll manage to bathe once it’s winter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For now, they don’t have to worry so much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga is holding him up against the rocks. Their lower bodies submerged and the sun still well in the sky. It’s lazy. They kiss slowly. Ukyo’s got his fingers tangled in Hyoga’s hair, legs wrapped tight around his waist. They take their time. There’s no rush. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s the first time they’ve been together in the daylight, Ukyo realizes. He kind of likes how it feels. To not feel ashamed of his actions. To just enjoy the moment for a change. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even if it’s Hyoga. Maybe Ukyo could get used to this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be leaving soon,” he says against Ukyo’s lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Confused by the timing, Ukyo leans back, arms still around Hyoga’s neck, to look at him. He blinks. Breath heavy, he’s not sure how to respond in the moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga laughs silently hitches his legs higher around his hips to readjust and keep Ukyo from slipping down. “Tsukasa thinks the village is a threat. He wants me to take care of it before they can confirm that fear of his.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes a moment for the words to process. He feels the warm simmering in his gut turn cold. “You’re telling me this </span>
  <em>
    <span>now?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Murder. He’s talking about murder. He’s going to kill </span>
  <em>
    <span>an entire village.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he decides to tell Ukyo </span>
  <em>
    <span>now. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Moments before having sex in broad daylight. When Ukyo actually felt good about himself for once. This is when Hyoga thinks it’s a good time to bring it up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He presses his face into Ukyo’s neck. “I… got distracted.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Confused, Ukyo takes a moment. Tries not to react to the feeling of Hyoga’s breath hot on his neck. When he showed up at the river, not much happened. He hadn’t quite been expecting Hyoga to be there already. Thought it would have been that night. So, he had planned to take a bath, to wash off the sweat from his run. He had been in the process of taking off his shirt when he noticed the other man waiting quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So what had distracted--.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was Ukyo himself. Hyoga was distracted by Ukyo. Ukyo distracted Hyoga. Because he was half naked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s kind of glad Hyoga’s not looking at him because he can feel the way he’s flushing. The warmth not entirely extinguished curls in him again. Reminding him that he hasn’t pushed his way out of this position yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s still talking about </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking murder, though. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You couldn’t… you couldn’t wait until after?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not the only one who forgets things after sex, Ukyo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This is too much. This is too much to process right now. His brain is foggy from being turned on, the heat of their bodies clogging his mind, even if he is sobering up pretty quick. He’s not really sure what Hyoga means by that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s not really sure how to feel, either. A moment ago he was just thinking how nice this all was. How much he doesn’t really mind if it’s Hyoga he’s with. But he had to go and dump cold water on it all and remind Ukyo that he’s very much still a killer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to wipe out that village.” Ukyo feels his words shake. Hears the sting in his own voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga bites him hard and he yelps. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t act like you’re better than me, Ukyo-kun,” he tells him. Pulls back to look him in the eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What--?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That time, you did whatever you had to do to save the people under your protection, did you not?” Hyoga reminds him. He’s careful not to mention the exact nature of the act and Ukyo won’t say outloud how grateful he is for it. Even if he is pissed off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course,” he takes a breath to steady himself. He hasn’t spoken about the incident since it happened. For a moment he debates on trying to separate himself. On trying to put his feet down on the ground to make it clear how unhappy he was in this situation with this topic. “The-- he was ready to kill him. How could I not do something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels Hyoga’s hands flex where he’s still gripping his thighs. It feels like he’s holding on tighter than before. Ukyo wonders if he’s made him angry, too. He doesn’t seem it, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In that moment, Ukyo can’t quite read him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what do you expect from me then? If we sent Gen out to find Senku, a task that should have been simple enough, and he returns the way he did?” Hyoga tilts his head just slightly too look at Ukyo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s starting to see the point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he doesn’t like how he understands where Hyoga is coming from.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think it would be responsible of me? Of us? As leaders, to allow our subjects to be put into harm's way because we didn’t strike first?” Hyoga presses in his words, his fingers tightening into the meat of Ukyo’s thighs. “When they could strike at any moment and kill many before we had a chance to react.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would hear them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And if it’s in a moment like now?” Hyoga asks, shifting his posture so his hips push forward, pressing Ukyo into the rocks until he hisses under his breath. His point is made. “Or when you’re asleep? Or perhaps up the mountain with Homura to hunt? Or on the other side doing your rounds?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But it’s an </span>
  <em>
    <span>entire village, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Hyoga,” Ukyo urges him. Realizes that it’s one of the few times he’s really said the other man’s name. That fact has them both hesitating for a moment, the severity of the frustration between them made all the more clear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And Gen was just a single man. Unarmed, and unskilled for combat,” Hyoga responds, and it’s quiet but firm. “But you saw him, he would be dead if not for his own ingenuity.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That logic is one that Ukyo can’t argue with. The way Gen was attacked was brutal. Unjust. Too much for just a simple magician trespassing. It had made Ukyo nauseous just to consider. That these people may be so cruel. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That led him to consider, what makes him think that Senku’s any different then?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But of course he can’t very well voice that out loud. So he just presses his lips together. Leans his head back against the rocks, looking up into the late afternoon sky where the sun is just beginning to change its colors. Doesn’t make eye contact again with Hyoga.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wants to fight this more. Wants to argue. To protest, to insist there’s no reason to attack an entire village when they don’t know for sure they’ll take an offensive stance and breach the Kingdom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But the truth is that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>argue. He can’t find strong enough logic. And he hates that. He doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to agree with this plan but he does. He can’t deny how brutal the attack was against a single, unarmed, non-combative man. He can’t deny that he isn’t a perfect surveillance system, that he has his blindspots. That he wouldn’t be able to alert the fighters of the kingdom </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>respond to it in time. It would be one or the other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d either have to singlehandedly confront the threat, or he’d have to risk the lives of the people to take the time needed to alert the fighters of their kingdom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And they simply don’t have enough men to propose a constant watch at all vulnerable points. There was only so much they could do with their numbers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eliminating the threat all together makes the most sense. It’s the most logical, efficient solution. Even if it is extreme.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But everything about the conditions of the world they live in is extreme. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while of Ukyo’s silence, Hyoga relents, sighs, moves to step back and let go of Ukyo’s legs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The moment he makes to move, though, Ukyo tightens his legs around Hyoga’s legs. Feels a stroke of worry that he’s pushed him away before he was ready to let go. Holds himself up with his arms around Hyoga’s shoulders. Keeps him there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Ukyo asks, his voice is a little more petulant than he was going for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga looks truly baffled. “You looked like you wanted to stop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t say that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blinks at Ukyo, plays his game and shifts his arms until he’s holding Ukyo by the waist, pulling his hips off the wall just enough to give him room to hold their bodies together. Raises an eyebrow. The way his hair falls in his eyes makes Ukyo’s stomach flip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re upset with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga blinks at him. Ukyo refuses to budge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think you’d want to keep going,” he says slowly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo won’t admit that he agrees with this plan. Won’t admit that it’s probably the better idea for all of their safety. But he can’t stand that fact. Not to mention it put Senku at risk of being slain by Hyoga, but he can’t let that slip. He needs Hyoga to think he’s simply mad about the violence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which he is. Plenty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s eyes search his face, even if he won’t keep eye contact. He’s being stubborn, he knows. But he’s not as mad as he could be, really. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he really </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>want to stop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Hyoga’s voice is quieter. There’s…. Some kind of emotion there he can’t place. Can’t bring himself to parse through. “Gen will go ahead, re-infiltrate to try and gather more information. He thinks now that he knows what to expect he’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That at least solves the issue of Senku being killed… if he has a chance to prepare, he stands a chance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo isn’t worried about Hyoga.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Hyoga reaches a hand up, wrinkled from the water, to tilt his jaw so Ukyo has to look at him, keeps his hand around Ukyo’s neck when he does. Leans his forehead down to Ukyo’s for just a moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then he’s kissing him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Perhaps Hyoga’s more fond of their arrangement than he realized</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW for the chapter: mentions of canon violence, mentions of survival methods including hunting and animal resources</p><p>I tried my hand at a little world building to emphasize how dark the winter would look to them for future chapters. Yuzuriha and Ukyo discuss what animals are best to use in the winter, what furs are best and such. If this bothers you feel free to skip the last stretch, you just miss a little context for the winter, but it's nothing that will trip you up.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo hears the approach of many well before they come within range of the Empire. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s on his usual perch in the lattice work of domicile caves. Many of the Kingdom’s inhabitants are going about their daily chores, yet to be alerted of the incoming group. Inside the throne room, Tsukasa is reclined, staring into the distance as a few of the others are supposed to be explaining their progress with new dwellings that have been built further in their territory. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he’s been spaced out like this frequently ever since Hyoga left. Ever since he learned Senku was dead, really. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s time to shake him out of it, though.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All it takes is for him to jump down to the cave floor. As he walks up to the throne, the change of his usual habits is enough to catch Tsukasa’s attention. It’s rare that Ukyo left his own dazed state. Rare that he changes his routines. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The king’s interest looks moderately peaked. Like he’s welcoming the change of pace that Ukyo’s offering. The way his eyes light up at any attention reminds Ukyo that Tsukasa really is </span>
  <em>
    <span>young.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jesus </span>
  <em>
    <span>Christ, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he’s still a teenager, isn’t he? Ukyo forgets that Tsukasa is really just some child celebrity that gained fame from championship fighting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No wonder he’s so inclined to violent solutions. Ukyo can’t even imagine what this guy went through to lead him to thinking that destroying so many statues  and abandoning science was the way to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s a group coming,” he says in answer to Tsukasa’s questioning look. “Probably Hyoga’s party. I’m going to go check.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukasa nods. “Stay hidden until it’s confirmed. If there’s any trouble, return immediately.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s obvious. Ukyo nods. And then he’s off to check the incoming party. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heads South, stays just off the obvious path, keeps his movements near silent. He can’t move through the trees quite like Homura can, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>can </span>
  </em>
  <span>move on the ground nearly as effectively. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s just outside of normal human hearing range from the group when he pulls himself up onto a tree branch, keeps himself hidden at first, eyes trained on the path.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If it’s Hyoga’s group, they’ll have no reason to hide and he’ll be seeing them any moment now. But if it’s a threat, then this is about the point they’d have to be stealthy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A moment later, any potential concerns vanish when he sees Hyoga’s familiar silhouette in the distance. Not long after, the rest come into view and Ukyo relaxes, drops down to a lower branch, letting his legs hang down more comfortably. From here he notices that there are a few faces missing. But perhaps, they’re hidden behind the rest for now…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s still out of sight for the most part. If they don’t look up, he could drop down right on top of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...They don’t look up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo feels himself sigh inwardly at the lack of observance. He’d have to bring it up for further training. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, it doesn’t get past Hyoga, though.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Vigilant as always, Ukyo-kun,” he says aloud, startling the rest of the party -- which, yes, Ukyo can see there’s quite a few less than he left with. Gen and Homua are both missing, which is… concerning. The other men whirl around, looking for where he might be, Ukyo laughs lowly, a little frustrated by how they lack.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When the hell did he get here?!” One of the men shouts when he finally sees where he’s sitting, looking down upon them all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s been keeping an eye on us for quite some time,” Hyoga tells them, “if you learned to be more observant and train your mush brains, you’d know he isn’t even trying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo pulls one knee up to lean on it. “If I was a predator, you’d all be in some danger now, wouldn’t you?” he sighs. As much as he thinks Hyoga’s being a bit harsh, he knows these men just aren’t yet cut out to be the military force they need to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They don’t seem to like his tone. He doesn’t care. He’s more concerned that they’d all be dead by now if he wasn’t on their side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll work on that,” Hyoga tells them, stopping under where Ukyo is. He jerks his chin to prompt them forward. “Go on ahead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That makes Ukyo grimace. He just </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows </span>
  </em>
  <span>that’s going to instigate a lot of insinuations that he’s going to have to hear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They grumble, annoyed at the way they lost face in front of both their commanders. The promise for more training regimens to be added is unmentioned but clear. Even now, two months into Ukyo’s revival, these men still gripe every time Ukyo or Hyoga show them up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure enough, when they think they’re far enough away to whisper, the twink jokes start and Ukyo pinches the bridge of his nose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ignore them,” Hyoga tells him. It’s easier said than done. Ukyo just aims a look at him, as if to remind him just that. “Will you come down from there or do I have to talk to you from here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo doesn’t think much of it, they can walk back together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He jumps down easily, the height not bothering him. For a moment, he thinks that maybe he’s gotten even better at handling the wilderness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thought is fleeting. Gone before he has a chance to really consider it before Hyoga is crowding him against the base of the tree, mask pulsed down, a gloved on his jaw, pulling him up onto his toes and into an open mouthed kiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A short sound of surprise comes from Ukyo’s throat before he realizes what’s happening. It’s not something he thought their relationship warranted. But he supposes it did feel strange to go from near daily encounters, to over a week of nothing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps Hyoga’s more fond of their arrangement than he realized. Ukyo won’t argue. He closes his eyes, lets his hands slide around Hyoga’s bare waist to his back. Enjoys it. Realizes he kind of missed it. Relishes in the feeling of contact once again as one of Hyoga’s hands moves to the back of his neck. Ukyo’s neck falls to the ground when his fingers curl in his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But there’s just one problem with the timing. “If I don’t get back first,” Ukyo breaks the kiss to say, a little breathless, “Tsukasa might send a search party.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga leans back, looks up in frustration. His mask is tucked under his chin as he rolls his jaw, sighs. Not for the first time, he’s taken by how striking Hyoga is. The petrification scars only adding to his features.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right,” he says with a look Ukyo can’t read. He’s smiling but he doesn’t look very happy. “Best get back soon, then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He says it, but he doesn’t let go of Ukyo’s jaw. So Ukyo doesn’t let go either. Doesn’t try to push Hyoga away from him. Doesn’t really want to move, either.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga looks back down at him again, eyes intense. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks like he’s about to say something but thinks better of it just before leaning down to press one last kiss to Ukyo’s lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This one’s softer. Fleeting. It takes Ukyo’s breath in a way that’s different from before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then he’s letting go and moving away. Pulling his mask up and not looking at Ukyo at all as he tells him, “I’ll catch up with them, you let Tsukasa know it’s us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Trying to remember how to breathe properly, Ukyo blinks at the sudden lack of contact before he’s pulling himself together. He adjusts the bow on his shoulder, swipes his thumb on his bottom lip, and agrees. Then he’s off, running to surpass the group before anyone on watch can be alerted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He realizes belatedly that he forgot to ask what happened to Homura and Gen.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gen-kun’s reports were all bullshit,” Hyoga announces when he enters the throne room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo is standing to the side, having returned not long before to announce the party’s arrival. He’s taken off guard. Not because he hadn’t been expecting it -- no, he knew that there was a high chance that Gen would stay behind once Senku was found to be alive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s surprised at how </span>
  <em>
    <span>calm </span>
  </em>
  <span>Hyoga is. Even when they met in the forest. Ukyo had seen no tell tale sign that he had reason to be upset.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In that moment, Ukyo starts to think that maybe he can’t read Hyoga as well as he thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The village has already come to possess great scientific power,” Hyoga announces and Ukyo knows this is it. “Because Senku-kun is alive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Forcing himself to look properly shocked and betrayed is easier than he thought it would be. He lets his eyes widen at the news. Then he turns to Tsukasa and the expression becomes even more genuine at what he sees.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukasa looks properly affronted by Hyoga’s announcement. But… Ukyo doesn’t think he looks mad, so to say. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s not a surprise either, though.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>There had been deaths. Ukyo holds his breath, breathes through his nose, and resists the nausea that climbs up his throat when he hears this part. They all knew it was a possibility when they sent their party out. Even if these men were… crude, to say the least, Ukyo can’t say he ever wished death on any of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hopes that he managed to hide his reaction. He doesn’t want to hear anymore of their lectures about how he needs to deal with it. About how death was a part of their life now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ignores whatever they have to say until they move on in the conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Homura has stayed behind to keep an eye on the village. Ukyo agrees that this was the best move on Hyoga’s part. She would be able to report back to them before anyone else could if anything changes. And there was no way she’d ever betray Hyoga’s trust. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just had to hope that between Senku and Gen, they’d be able to figure out a way around her. Until then, he had to help prepare for winter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With Homura preoccupied, Ukyo has more work to do. This leaves them short handed when they need to enhance security now that they have an active threat. Enhance security, locate as many food sources as possible, revive Minami’s recommended forces, and make sure Yuzuriha has everything she needs to prepare winter clothes and blankets for the entire kingdom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They expect it to be a long, harsh winter. Tsukasa tells them both to expect deaths. For Hyoga, this means that he needs to be mindful of food and water supply as he runs through training regimens. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For Ukyo, it means he can’t let it distract him. He needs to prepare for the blow. To handle whatever happens. Their people can’t afford for their leader to be so distraught by even a single death, that he overlooks something crucial.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As much as he hates to admit that they’re right, he knows he needed to hear that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, the first thing he does, as Minami begins her recommendations to the power duo, is seek out Yuzuriha.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She and Taiju are in their shared quarters. It’s a cozy little home they’ve built for themselves. He knows now that they have… an incomplete relationship. They’re together, but they’re not. Something’s holding them back, and even if he thinks it’s stupid and in a Stone World as dangerous as this, he thinks they shouldn’t waste precious time together, but that’s none of his business, really.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Ukyo,” Yuzuriha notices him first when he pulls back the deer hide curtain. It’s still something he’s not used to, but since she’s one of the essential roles of their Kingdom, she insists anyone can enter freely during the daylight. “What brings you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taiju turns at her greeting, his eyes lighting up with the innocent enthusiasm he’s always projecting on everyone to cross his path. “Ukyo!” He beams, “Good to see you!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo doubts that he means that, but he smiles kindly anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I came to check in,” he says, “to see how your stock is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah! Yes,” Yuzuriha claps her hands, “I figured you’d be asking soon, so I wrote it down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wrote it down?” he gapes at her, wondering where she’d get the materials. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In response, she just smiles, finds a folded scrap of hide among her supplies to hand to him. He unfolds it carefully, and sure enough, there’s a list of carefully written materials in charcoal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He vaguely remembers the way she would use a stick dipped into charcoal to mark patterns on the hide. It makes sense that she’d use it for this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He takes in the needed inventory. Notes the specific types of hide. “I’m glad I asked now,” he mutters, “I don’t know how much longer some of these animals will be around for.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She folds her arms and nods sadly. “Yeah, pretty soon we won’t have as many options as we do  now.” Running her fingers over the rolls of tanned hide, she looks mournful. “I’m worried, but as long as you can bring me enough materials, I’ll make sure to prepare everything in time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, it was on Ukyo and the hunting teams, then. Whether or not she can produce the needed supplies for winter depends on them. “What do you run out of the fastest?” he asks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“With winter, it’ll be fox. Racoon dogs too,” she answers. “It’s small… but the fur will be the best for the winter.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oooh, fox fur is nice,” Taiju says, scratching his chin. “But they’re hard to catch when we go looking for them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rubs between his eyes. Thinks of how many fucking foxes he’s going to have to kill on his own. There’s no way the hunting team will be able to get enough. They’re good at what they do, sure, but they simply don’t have the experience just yet to pin down fast moving, small targets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There is… another option,” Yuzuriha says gently. Her face is pale. “But it might be a little. Unpleasant.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dog.” Her voice sounds strained. Like it hurts to say. “And cat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taiju looks like he’s about to cry. “You-- you don’t mean, like, kitty cats right? And like--. You don’t mean…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, she does,” Ukyo answers. He’s thought about it. About the hoards of feral cats and wild dogs he’s seen out West and up North. It would be foolish of them to count them out when these animals were nearly four millenia removed from the house pets they knew. “I’ll keep it in mind. I’ve been meaning to look for bear, too.” He thinks. Plans to talk to Tsukasa about sending more search parties out for animal resources.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, bear would be great,” Yuzuriha tells him, folding her hands together. “I could make two whole blankets from just one. And more.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, bears, huh?” Taiju considers it. “I wonder if I could fight a bear.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure you could,” Ukyo tells him, “We’ll need your help with that, for sure. But we won’t send you alone, don’t worry.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gives Ukyo a bold thumbs up, smile wide. “Just let me know!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuzuriha smiles at him like that simple gesture promised her the world. Even if it was aimed at Ukyo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeah, he doesn’t get what’s holding them back, but whatever. He had foxes to hunt. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Because I got the distinct feeling you weren’t an exibitionist</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>More context for the winter! </p><p>TW: mentions of survival methods, sexual situations, implied sexual content</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Minami’s first recommendation for revival is a food scientist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She can’t cook for the life of her,” Minami tells them, reclining on the new furs she’s received recently. “I know about her because she blew up a kitchen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why would we revive her?” Hyoga asks blandly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Because</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Minami stresses, as if she wasn’t done speaking and wants him to know his rebuttal was an inconvenience to her. “She graduated top of her class, with reams of letters of recommendation from her professors. She just can’t cook. They gave her a show for it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The three of them looked at her, unsure of how it all added up. She looks completely put out that they don’t get the point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The gimmick </span>
  <em>
    <span>was,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” she explains, “That this woman would teach a random guest how to do something in the kitchen. Then they would compete. And she always failed, atrociously. But the guest, some everyday person, would make it </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfectly</span>
  </em>
  <span> because she was so good with the concepts.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Tsukasa nods. “That makes far more sense.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo laughs, and it’s a short sound really, but it has them all looking at him. Like he just said something off the wall. He shrinks, not used to the attention. What, can he not laugh? Why were they looking like they’d never heard someone laugh before?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minami saves him, thankfully. “Yes, so she won’t be able to do any of it herself, but she could teach us how to preserve food for the winter, I’m sure of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll gather a search party and we’ll seek her out first thing in the morning,” Hyoga assures. “Where was she last known to be?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pressing a finger to her lips, Minami thinks. “Hm, she usually worked with the same studios Gen went to,” she tells them. “So, she might be around here. Or… she might have been at her vacation home. In that case, it’ll take some time to find her. Maybe a couple of days.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Tsukasa waves it off. “We can make the trip, it’s necessary before it gets any colder.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Agreed, Ukyo says we need to bring back bear and more wolves, and he’s going to be collecting fox,” Hyoga adds, “if we want to start with enough time for Yuzuriha to prepare everything, we’ll need to do that immediately. But we can’t let that food go to waste either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, she’ll know what to do, don’t worry,” Minami assures them. “I’ll meet you tomorrow morning to show you where she’ll be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually, Hyoga,” Tsukasa starts, interrupting them. “You just returned yesterday. I think you should stay this time. I’ll go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all blink at him. It isn't unusual for Tsukasa to take revival trips, but it is the first time he agreed to leave on an extended journey. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minami sure looks happy, though. Even if Tsukasa is painfully oblivious to her obvious crush. Ukyo wonders what his motivation for this is really. He knows that their king prefers to stay within the Kingdom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This way we can spare less men for your party, as well,” Tsukasa continues, “If it’s me, I only need two men. Less resources to worry about and you can keep defenses up while I’m gone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If that is what you’d prefer, then I won’t argue,” Hyoga agrees. “Ukyo and I will hold things together here while you’re gone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the mention of the two of them, Tsukasa looks hard between them both. There’s a weird look in his eye and when Minami giggles behind her hand, Ukyo immediately feels his neck get hot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuck, why can’t anything just be a secret here?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure you will.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even if Ukyo was embarrassed by Tsukasa’s insinuations earlier, when he leaves that afternoon for an early start, Hyoga seems perfectly content with the situation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or at least, that’s the impression Ukyo gets when Hyoga presses him into his bedding once they’ve turned in for the night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s hot. The air between them charged and no night breeze to cool them down. The low fire burning nearby casts a red glow across the nearly empty cave. Without their king there, no one has reason to come by. And with their arrangement known enough, no one wants to be around anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hay stuffed bedding is incredibly preferable to the rocky grounds by the river. There’s no tree root or stone to dig into his spine and pull him from the heated daze Hyoga wraps him in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even if the stirring sounds of the kingdom are closer, echoing when they reach the caves, the darkness surrounding them pulls Ukyo in tighter. Hyoga’s bare form above him is easier to focus on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s already shed his cloak, his shoes, an apparent pain to take off in a hurry, had been discarded before Ukyo even retired for the night. Then it’s Ukyo’s turn, and Hyoga is running his hands underneath his tunic, hitching it up to his chest so he can mouth kisses down his bare stomach.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo breathes heavy, lifts his hips when Hyoga drags the fur belt down, taking his pants with it. On his way back up, Hyoga slides one hand up the back of his legs, hitches them up, kisses the inside of his knee and makes his way down to Ukyo’s groin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He groans. The sound echoes, which is a painfully embarrassing thing to his ears, but the overall comfort is nice, he has to admit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You used to bring hook ups here all the time,” Ukyo says between panting breaths, “Why don’t we do this more often?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga moves back up to hover over him. Looks him in the eye as he answers, “Because I got the distinct feeling you weren’t an exibitionist.” He tilts his head while he looks down on him. His hair falls around his face, the firelight casting shadows that make him even more haunting to look at. Ukyo feels his mouth go dry. “Besides, you seem to like the river.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Ukyo says. Clears his throat. Tries to swallow against the way he suddenly can’t breathe right. Hyoga watches him, a light smile on his face. Just a slight tilt of his lips as his dark eyes search Ukyo’s expression. “I guess you’re right then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naturally,” Hyoga smiles, leaning in to kiss under his jaw. Ukyo huffs a laugh. Thinking he doesn’t hear the man make jokes very often. Let alone boast like this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels Hyoga’s smile widen against his throat.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The food scientist is loud. Louder than Taiju. Truly, a distinct TV personality type that has Ukyo cringing hard every time she opens her mouth to crack some bad joke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But she’s kind, generous to a fault and happy to help once given the situation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And she knows her stuff. Everyone who is to be responsible for preparing food stocks is pulled together to listen to her lectures and directions. Someone else is given the duty of performing the demonstration, as she says once, ever so emphatically, that she has no desire to poison the already small population of the kingdom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, Ukyo simply decides to keep his distance once he knows what to do. He can hear anything she says from halfway across the Kingdom. For the sake of his ears and his ever brewing headache, he doesn’t need to be in her space.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She catches on at some point, notices that he avoids her, and Ukyo almost feels bad. But then he hears Taiju reply just as loud as she brought it up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, he does that to me, too! He’s just got sensitive ears.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah! I have been told my voice is too loud for my microphone in the past.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s all it is!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then that’s that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo doesn’t think he has to associate with the woman for a while, but that’s quickly proven wrong when Tsukasa asks him to bring her in one day. Having just gotten back from his rounds, he had been far from her to begin with. It’s a strange thing, and Tsukasa’s strained way of speaking makes the situation all the more odd.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then Ukyo has her standing before their king as he watches on and it all makes sense.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve heard from some that you have intentions to advance the science here” Tsukasa says not unkindly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, yes! I have so many ideas, I just need the resources,” she says, grinning large. “I am a scientist after all. Salting and pickling our food only goes so far. I was thinking that if we--.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can we survive the winter without it?” Tsukasa interrupts. Ukyo closes his eyes. Bites the inside of his lip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, it would be something like that. A few months ago, he thinks Tsukasa may have been more open to the suggestion. But now with Gen’s betrayal and Senku’s survival well known as they prepare for war, it’s no wonder that Tsukasa wouldn’t be too happy with the idea of advancing their primitive science too fast. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, we could,” she responds, confused. “The techniques I’ve shown everyone have helped man survive tens of thousands of years. There’s no worry there. It’s just that I have the knowledge, why not--.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then we don’t need anything else,” Tsukasa says. “Perhaps before next winter we can discuss some options, but for this year… I ask you not to bring up science again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I’m a food </span>
  <em>
    <span>scientist,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” she pushes, disbelief clear in her voice. “It’s part of my job.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The people don’t need to know why it works, they just need to know what to do,” Tsukasa’s tone is harsher. His gaze growing dark. Ukyo wonders if he should step in at any point. “I forbid you to influence any more science in this Kingdom.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looks… stricken. Her mouth hanging open as she looks at him. She’s older than Tsukasa, maybe just a few years older than Ukyo at most. Still young, but no doubt unsure of how to take the whole situation in general. It must look insane to her, to reject science the way Tsukasa has in the face of a cold, harsh winter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo agrees. But he’s not about to see Tsukasa get any angrier.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he pushes off the wall, approaches the both of them, and says, “come on, I’ll escort you back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both look at him, it’s obviously not necessary for him to do that. But it’s clear his intention: The conversation needs to end here. There will be no more argument.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looks helpless a bit. Heartbroken. Ukyo thinks he understands, but he just leads the way out of Tsukasa’s throne room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you…” she asks as they walk back to where she usually stays, in the store rooms, overlooking the process that others perform. Ukyo turns to her, just slightly, enough so she knows he’s listening. “Do you really agree with that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo offers a bitter smile. “It’s best to trust Tsukasa,” he says, even if he doesn’t believe his own words. “He has his reasons.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next few months are busy. The mornings are filled with overseeing training. More men have been revived, and they plan to bring back more as long as the food and supply stocks are used as the predict them to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s busy enough that Ukyo starts to take shifts with Hyoga. He can’t teach spear techniques, sure, but he can run their men through brutal training all the same. It doesn’t matter that he was never promoted very far in the military, he knew what basic training was like. All he had to do was replicate it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They work in shifts. Ukyo runs half their men through basic training in the morning, while Hyoga or Tsukasa take the hunting party out to bring in as much game as they could. After lunch, Ukyo would do his rounds, bring in foxes every few days to keep Yuzuriha’s pelts full. While Hyoga ran the men through spear technique training. After dinner, it then fell to the three of them. Ukyo, Tsukasa, and Hyoga themselves would run through their own training. Keeping their strength up and their skills sharp.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a strict, efficient routine through the fall. Ukyo wonders if it would be the same next year… but then again, if all went well, Senku would be in charge by then. And just maybe, the food scientist would have their way to make things easier.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay admittedly 12-13 were kinda filler that I may or may not use for building on in the future but the next few chapters are fun. Enjoy.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. You absolute dumb fuck</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Lmao here we go</p><p>TW: mentions of bad eating habits (non-ed related), hypothermia, near death encounters, Ukyo nearly dies in a snow storm</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>In the past, before petrification, Ukyo never quite realized just how cold it got. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, in the Stone World, with the first snow coming any day  now and the last mid chills of fall quickly turning to freezing temperatures, Ukyo realizes just how much luxury the old world afforded them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>During the days, Ukyo does his rounds laden with new furs, courtesy of Yuzuriha. She did her best with fox pelts he brought in, choosing to make his winter clothes out of the lighter skin rather than the heavy bear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It helped him on his rounds. The light fur was warm enough that he could keep up his pace. And as long as he kept moving, he could stay warm easily. Some days he’d even opt to join the men in the training regimens. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the game became too scarce to hunt, and they started to rely on their stores of salted meat, Hyoga once again took over the training schedules. And once again, Ukyo spent much of his days overlooking the grounds of the kingdom, keeping himself in the sun as often as possible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cold makes everyone lethargic. Energy being scarce. And even Tsukasa agrees to lighten the training schedule when the first snow falls. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s one of these slow dragging mornings when Hyoga approaches Ukyo. It takes him off guard, and then he remembers that none of them have much to do these days. All the preparations for winter are finished. All that’s left is to tough it out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukyo-kun,” he calls him down from where he’s overlooking the stretch of open land everyone is currently using to huddle around open fires in the sunlight. Once Ukyo joins him, he says, “Would you mind bringing something to Homura today?” he asks, holding up something wrapped in hide. “Salted meat and pickled roots, in case she can’t hunt, and a warmer blanket. I’m concerned she’s not able to stay by a fire if she’s keeping watch up high.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Ukyo understands immediately. “Of course, that makes sense.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Much to Ukyo’s horror when his stomach swoops at the sight, he once again spots the slightest tinge of a blush on Hyoga’s cheeks above his mask. “I would go myself but--.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no!” Ukyo stops him, insistent and not sure if he can handle seeing Hyoga sheepish on top of it all, “I’d be faster on my own. I can make it back before nightfall.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Hyoga manages to collect himself again. The redness on his skin fading. It makes Ukyo wonder if his nose is as red as everyone else’s. They haven’t been together since it got cold with it being too warm to take off their clothes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even Hyoga, who usually went without many layers, is wrapped in a bear skin coat underneath his cloak. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you see the logic in it,” Hyoga says, “I would have liked to speak with her directly, but I think it’s more important to reduce how much time someone spends out there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Ukyo agrees easily. “I’ll leave immediately.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s about to turn and leave when he notices Hyoga’s hesitation. He’s not sure how, with his face covered, Ukyo was able to notice. But he could tell.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blinks, waits for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Be careful out there, Ukyo-kun,” he says finally. It makes Ukyo pause, shocked, to receive even that much from him. “We can’t afford to lose you to hypothermia.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ah, of course. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He almost thought, for a moment, that Hyoga was being sentimental with him. But of course, it was something as logical as this. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I almost knocked you out of this tree, kid. Don’t sneak up on me like that!” Homura scolds him when he makes it to the branch below her’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who’re you calling a kid? I’m older than you.” He shoots back, pulling his leg up to sit more comfortably. She’s gotten herself a snug little spot against the tree where she is. Ukyo thinks that aside from the wind-chill, it must be quite comfortable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look like you belong in high school, how old were you before it all?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo pauses. Realizes he hasn’t really thought about things like that much. “Twenty-four. And I’m sure my birthday’s already passed so I guess that makes me twenty-five.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Give or take a few thousand years?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He snorts. “Yeah. You?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Twenty-two,” she smiles into the collar of her coat. “A year older than Hyoga.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And yet I’m the kid?” he glares. She pulls her coat around her tighter while she sends him a charming, but smug little smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eying the pack he brought, he watches as she allows herself to look curious. He thinks it’s interesting, and a little disorienting, that she can control her expressions so distinctly that he can </span>
  <em>
    <span>tell </span>
  </em>
  <span>it’s her choice to look at him like that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that for me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Ukyo unties the rope at the top, pulling out the clay jars of pickled vegetables and salted meat. “We’ve got someone who helped us with this, Hyoga asked me to make sure it gets to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She glances into the distance for a moment, and Ukyo follows her gaze. There’s smoke curling in the distance, from here he can even hear the hustle of the village working. The laughter and buzz of friendly voices. When she finally nods to herself, she slides down from her high branch onto one just below his. He notices then that she’s got a small cubby hollowed in the tree. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He passes the clay pots and hide wrapped meat down to her to store. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you came, I’ve been trying to freeze everything in the snow, but that just means it takes longer to cook,” she tells him, settling everything in. “And it’s hard enough to find fresh meat around here. Those guys are so damn </span>
  <em>
    <span>busy </span>
  </em>
  <span>I can’t spare the minute to hunt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Frowning, he watches her pull herself back up to her post, settling in with her coat around her shoulders. “And that’s been three times a day?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shakes her head. “I’ve been lucky to eat a full meal in a day,” she admits, “I don’t suppose that’s a blanket, too?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At her words, he’s reminded of the pouch that the food was wrapped in, shakes it out to reveal its shape as a nicely dyed pink, fur coat for her. Of course, Yuzuriha got the exact shade right somehow. He holds it up to the woman above him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Homura pulls it around her shoulders, she gives a hard shiver at the added warmth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got a bit to stick around?” she asks, voice tinged with hope. “It’s boring as hell out here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo looks at the position of the sun. It’s just past it’s highest point in the sky. And with how the days have gotten shorter, he thinks it gives him about five hours of daylight. He left before sunrise…. Which means if his old sense of time was anything to go by, it took about seven hours.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he hurried back without the package to weigh him down, he may be able to make it to the kingdom just a few hours after sunset. It shouldn’t be </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>bad then. And with the snow, the moonlight has been enough to see after dark. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” he says, settling in. He doesn’t mind keeping her company for a bit. It would be fine.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was not fine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It snowed on his way back, suddenly and </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Navigating through the freezing chill of the storm was hell. But he was too close to camp to give up. Even if he tried to stop and take cover for the night, he was already freezing. Stopping now, without any chance of starting a fire, would leave him for dead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not to mention, the way he was running has him sweating into his furs, making it all the worse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, if he stopped now, it would be his own death sentence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s close enough to camp that he can hear them. He can hear the way voices are echoing boisterously through the latticework of their caves. The way everyone has taken cover together to weather the storm. It sounds like they’re all gathered together, from how well the noise reaches his ears. The wind blows at him from the north, making it sound clear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knows he’s slowing down. The cold is biting into him, the furs stiff and painful from how they’ve frozen against his skin. The tips of his ears burn and his fingers and toes have gone all but numb inside the winter gloves and boots Yuzuriha had made for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The snow has quickly piled up by the time he gets close enough to make out voices. He’s trudging through snow, now piled up past his ankles. He can’t feel his feet. His muscles ache from the way he’s shivering.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He fucked up. He fucked up </span>
  <em>
    <span>big time. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Someone’s coming!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hears someone, it sounds like Nikki, shout. Her voice echoes in the chambers of the caves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo finds himself sighing in relief, grateful that if he were to collapse now, at least they’d know he’s there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It must be Ukyo, someone get furs ready.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukasa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Is there still hot water? Where are the teas?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuzuriha. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, they are all sheltering together, then. Just like he thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just has to make it the last stretch of the way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He doesn’t look good…” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, he doesn’t feel very well either. Their voices all start to blur together into a giant pounding headache. He can’t feel his ears anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he makes it to the hill his slow brain starts to process his new predicament. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He has to climb. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He has to make his way up hill, in the snow, and he can barely feel below his knees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Someone get him!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuck, no, he can do this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He forces his legs to move, knows that if he stays still too long the frost bite will outdo the little warmth his muscles produce. It’s slow, and he doesn’t feel steady, but he makes it a decent distance up the ramp before someone’s there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You absolute dumb fuck, did you take a nap along the way?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s Hyoga. He sounds pretty fucking pissed, and Ukyo can’t blame him. He really did overstay with Homura. He should have left right after delivering her supplies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tries to apologize, but his tongue feels as numb as his toes, and his numb lips won’t move right. His words come out slurred, drunken. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It makes it impossible to protest when Hyoga is throwing him over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Letting out an unintelligible sound of protest, Ukyo thumps at his back to let him down. Shivering </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard </span>
  </em>
  <span>when he feels Hyoga’s body heat like a furnace through his own furs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shit, he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>so fucking cold.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The campfire is bright inside the cave, the warmth of the blaze and combined body heat hits him like a wall. His shivering becomes all the more noticeable. The frozen sweat in his clothes stings. The way sound erupts around him nearly has him passing out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He squeezes his eyes shut against the sensory overload. Gives up and let’s Hyoga man handle him around. Doesn’t protest when his clothes are stripped away and replaced with a thick bear hide blanket pulled up over his head and tucked around his whole body. Doesn’t fight back when Hyoga sits him in front of the fire, wrapped around his back for added warmth. Let’s Yuzuriha tuck a deer bladder full of warm water inside the coat for him to curl around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shivers for a while, stares at the embers of the fire, doesn’t think about any of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga doesn’t move. A few times, people approach. Ask if he needs anything. Offers. Hyoga responds to them all, arms wrapped around Ukyo from the back, bracketing him between both legs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he stops shivering and the water bottle he’s hugging brings feeling back to his fingers, someone hands him a steaming cup of something. He drinks it slowly, it’s bone broth. A hard chill runs down his spine when he swallows. He feels Hyoga tighten his hold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually the exhaustion takes over.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the next thing he knows, he’s waking up on his bed pallet. The fire’s smoldering slowly. The warm embers a glowing red, but the flames shorter, not nearly as bright while everyone sleeps.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo is </span>
  <em>
    <span>sweating. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s still wrapped in the fur blanket. His bed’s been pulled closer to the fire. And at his back, he still feels the solid form of someone against around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now that he can think. Ukyo’s hyper aware of all that’s transpired. Of the dutiful care Hyoga has taken with him. To make sure he didn’t die that night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo feels stupid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ashamed of himself, but curious, he wiggles until he can turn over, feels Hyoga’s arm lift after a moment to give him space to move until they’re face to face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes blink blearily at him. His mask is off, fur tunic foregone for risk of sweating in it over night. There’s another blanket thrown over them both. No wonder Ukyo’s sweating his ass off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s about to wiggle out of the extra blanket before he realizes that he’s bare underneath. But it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>hot.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga watches him amused as he debates for a second before clearly deciding not to care and uncurls the blanket from him. Scoots closer to Hyoga instead when the cooler air hits his skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” Hyoga asks, his voice rough from sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘S hot,” Ukyo grumbles. Not caring for much after nearly dying. He’s already embarrassed from his carelessness, what’s one more moment of weakness? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He curls himself into Hyoga’s chest so he doesn’t have to look him in the eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feeling the slight huff of amusement Hyoga lets out, Ukyo presses his forehead to Hyoga’s clavicle. Feels the warmth radiating from the man like a furnace. All that muscle was good for something besides looking good, at least.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In response, Hyoga pulls him in and tugs the extra layer around them both so it’s no longer insulating in Ukyo on his own. Then he’s folding his arm around Ukyo’s waist. His thumb brushing the skin of his back until they both fall asleep.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. No, that's your job.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There is a savage murder in this chapter.</p><p>TW: sexual connotations, internal moral crisis, sexual situations</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>It could have been more awkward to wake up with Hyoga. It could have been much more awkward. They could have done the uncomfortable morning after dodging each after a one night stand. They could have been outwardly embarrassed to wake up tangled together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead, it went like this:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo woke up first, the number of people in one place making it far too noisy once more than a few woke up to start their chores. He was lying on Hyoga’s chest, naked, covered by the double layer of bearskin blankets. He could feel the steady </span>
  <em>
    <span>thump, thump </span>
  </em>
  <span>of Hyoga’s heart under his ear. A loud, grounding beat while the rest of the world clattered around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually, his state of nudity in the middle of the crowded hall had him self conscious. He shifts, just a little, to make sure the blankets are properly covering them both. The fire has died, and while the accumulated body heat is sufficient enough to keep the temperature survivable, it’s still just below a comfortable temperature. He makes sure Hyoga’s exposed chest is covered too, tucking the blanket under his chin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With the motion, he feels Hyoga stir, the deadweight arm on his waist moving to slide up his spine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The low rumble in his chest would be inaudible to anyone else, but for Ukyo with his cheek pressed beneath Hyoga’s clavicle, it’s loud. Endearingly drowsy. He shifts until his chin is pressing into his sternum to look up at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga grunts again, eyes cracking open the tiniest bit to take in Ukyo watching him. Lifting his head just enough before flopping back on the pillow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo can’t help but smile. Hyoga’s left-hand joins his right on Ukyo’s skin, stroking along the length of his waist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels warm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not dying anymore are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The question takes Ukyo off guard and he snorts, not letting the effect of Hyoga’s rough morning voice show. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m alive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One eye cracks open again to watch Ukyo before his hand slides up, around to his chin, pulling him up to meet him. Ukyo closes his eyes and goes with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kiss is soft. Closed mouth. Just a brush of their lips. Hyoga’s fingers tangle in the back of his hair. They both have morning breath and they’re in the middle of a crowded room, and yet…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukyo, your clothes are dry! Do you want--Oh!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They break the kiss and Ukyo feels his ears heat up when he looks up at Yuzuriha who’s standing just a bit away. One hand covers her mouth and there’s a tinge of a blush on her cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It looks like she’s smiling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo shakes his head. “No, no it’s fine.” He separates himself from Hyoga, pulling one of the blankets with him to make sure he’s covered from below the waist. He shivers against the cold air but doesn’t want to take the covers off Hyoga completely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hands that were around him a moment before fall between them, one lands to grip at his thigh where he’s sitting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As much as he’s hyper-aware of the contact, Ukyo can’t imagine ending it. It’s grounding. He appreciates it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to bring your clothes?” she offers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo looks down at himself. Covered only by the blanket. If Hyoga wasn’t wearing his usual, he’s sure they would look incredibly compromising right then. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh--.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get it,” Hyoga states, moving to stand up. Ukyo is about to protest when he hears the slightest sound from Yuzuriha. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks up, sees that she’s shooting him an emphatic look behind Hyoga’s back as he walks away. He returns it, immensely confused. She just looks annoyed, if not a little exasperated by him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just let him do this,” she hisses under her breath, knowing he can hear just fine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He frowns, lifts a hand in question but she’s waving it off hastily. “Stop, he’s coming back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo’s not sure what they’re supposed to be conspiring over but he follows her directions. Doesn’t say anything except a light thanks when Hyoga hands him the yellow outfit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Twisting underneath the covers, Ukyo pulls on his pants first so he can stand without exposing himself to put on the rest of his clothes. Beside him, he notices the sudden shiver Hyoga lets out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s fixing his hat on his head when he appraises Hyoga’s state of undress. He’s in nothing but his fucking skirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should really put a coat on.” Ukyo tells him quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga shrugs, pulling his mask on first as usual. The black material fastened behind his head with the ease of habit. “I’m fine.” He reaches down to pick up his furs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your nipples look like they’re about to fall off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bent over in his reach, Hyoga stops, turns to look up at Ukyo. “My </span>
  <em>
    <span>nipples?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You called me a dumbfuck yesterday, and I bet you don’t even have anything on under that to keep your dick warm.” Ukyo scolds him, watching while Hyoga goes back to pulling his clothes on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, that’s your job.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo’s jaw drops. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His ears </span>
  <em>
    <span>burn. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And he feels like he wants to fight but he’s way too flustered to even know where to begin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He continues to gawk as Hyoga walks over to where a string of clothes are drying by the fire to get his boots. He slides them on easy (it’s getting them off that’s a bitch), and walks back to Ukyo, shutting his mouth for him on his way out of the chamber and to the training grounds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still wide-eyed, Ukyo finally reacts once he’s gone, letting out the affronted noise that had gotten stuck in his throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hears someone giggle, turns to see a group of girls watching him, looking far too amused at his suffering. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a huff, he goes to find his bow and arrows. He’s got rounds to run. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo doesn’t see Hyoga until after dinner when Tsukasa calls them both to an informal meeting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, he wonders if they’re about to get scolded for getting caught making out in the middle of the community quarters. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s not quite what happens.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You two need privacy,” Tsukasa tells them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They don’t respond. Equally a little lost on how to respond. Ukyo glances at Hyoga out of the corner of his eye. He just shrugs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s a small unit on the east side,” Tsukasa continues, looking like he wants this to be over already. “Small enough that with both your body heat, you’d just need to keep a fire going. No need to stay in the common room.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s… tempting. Ukyo can’t deny that. He and Hyoga haven’t been able to be together in weeks. Not for lack of wanting, but because every time they tried it was just too cold. And Ukyo can’t say he’s comfortable fucking in a common room full of people. He rarely even let it happen when it was just the usual inhabitants they shared a space with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga had been right that time, Ukyo isn’t much for exhibitionism. He was simply too aware of everyone around him when they tried. The noise too much to drown out when it was so close.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s not sure what Hyoga thinks though, so he’s not sure what he should--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We accept.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo’s eyes widen and his head whips to the side to look at the other. He’s calm, composed as ever as he takes Tsukasa’s offer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, he guesses that settles it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They take the time to gather the few things they’ve stored in the back of the throne room that was all but abandoned these days in favor of the much warmer community chamber. He doesn’t have much for material possessions, just his extra arrows and bowstrings. Feathers and stones he collected that looked suitable to make new ones whenever he gets around to needing them. A few bars of glycerin soap and a half-empty bottle of olive oil. He opts to carry that one, the rest getting rolled up in his hay bed pallet to be carried upstairs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga meets up at the opening, his own pallet under one arm and a torch in his other hand to light a fire quickly. They don’t say anything as they move it all to the small domicile cave Tsukasa told them about. It’s far enough that even when everyone has their old homes back in the spring, it should still be fairly private. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it’s not so far that Ukyo can’t hear if he were to be needed anywhere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s... odd. There’s an odd feeling to this, Ukyo thinks, as they unroll their pallet and find places to put their minimal things in the storage of the man-made cave system. As Ukyo sets his extra arrows on the shelf with the pre-constructed parts for more, Hyoga sets to unrolling and fitting their bed pallets together. The fire already lit easily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If this were the old world, Ukyo thinks, it would almost be like…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We just moved in together.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It dawns on him like a cold stone settling in his stomach.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hears Hyoga shifting behind him. Probably turning to look at him at his statement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I supposed that is what we did,” Hyoga confirms. There’s something in his voice. Something Ukyo can’t place. It drives him mad, knowing that he’s missing something with Hyoga. It seems there’s always </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>that he’s not reading properly when it comes to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo stares at the half chiseled arrowhead in his palm. It’s barely got a point to it yet. Just the rough shape where Ukyo initially felt the weight served best to fly. He turns it over in his fingers. Processing the situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The horticulturist easily stopping his own sexual relationship with Hyoga.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Homura checking on him all the time and bringing Hyoga up, she always does, she’s devoted to a fault, but it just shows how much she thinks it’s important for Hyoga’s sake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The soldiers knowing they would have a moment when they walked back together that time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The way Hyoga catered to him since he got back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuzuriha’s strange behavior that morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukasa just assuming they’d want to have privacy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It all hits Ukyo hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They think we’re a couple.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s not sure how to feel about this. How should he feel about this? He and Hyoga were moral opposites. Their ideals clashed so strongly. Ukyo would never have gone for someone like him in the past.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But… this isn’t the old world. This is the Stone World. Where war, death, and famine was always a misstep away on their parts. The three of them holding together their society with strength and careful consideration to maintain the following behind Tsukasa’s charisma. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even if they went to war with the Kingdom of Science… there was no guarantee Senku would win. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This society. This may just be it for them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which meant that Hyoga could very well be it for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo isn’t sure how to feel about that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Behind him, he hears Hyoga stand up to approach him. He towers over Ukyo but it’s not threatening. Reaching to take the arrowhead and shelve it, he takes Ukyo’s now free hand to turn him around to face him. Looks down at Ukyo over the edge of his mask. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lighting is dim, Hyoga’s broad shoulders blocking out the still building fire in the center of the room. He takes the hat off Ukyo’s head, fingers through his hair to fix it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo can’t read him even a little bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Most likely, yes,” Hyoga says in response, finally. “Does that bother you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo blinks up at him. He doesn’t have the answer to that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thinks he should be bothered. He thinks he should be affronted. That anyone would think he’d stoop so low to be so involved with a murderer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But the way Hyoga is looking at him. The way he always looks at him. The way he always touches him. The sex, and the rest. The way he got Ukyo through the scare last night. The way he felt so natural to wake up with him in the morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t want to decide how he feels yet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Biting the inside of his lip, he lets himself reach out to pull Hyoga’s mask down the way he always does when they go down to the river. Slides his fingers along Hyoga’s chin to pull him in for a deep kiss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga moves towards him like gravity, one hand tangling in the hair at the back of his neck while the other sliding around Ukyo’s waist to pull him in tight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pressed flush together, Ukyo deepens the kiss. Let’s Hyoga think whatever he wants from this as he stretches his arms to wrap around his neck. His back bends with the way Hyoga curves over him, holding both their weight up for the most part like this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not long before Ukyo is breathless. Breaking away to let out a shaky exhale, breathing heavy. Hyoga presses their foreheads together, sighs heavily himself. The way he’s affected by this, at least, is clear as day. He can read that much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take me to bed.” Ukyo whispers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Hyoga does.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ahh.... Ukyo. What are we going to do with you.</p><p>The murder was Hyoga's comeback btw. Ukyo wyd.</p><p>If this chapter made you pull your hair out the way I did while writing it, leave a comment and kudos&lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Can’t say I’m against the idea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I got a little carried away with this one. </p><p>TW: explicit sexual content, choking (sexy and accidental), lip biting, bloody lips,</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s too cold to be stripping on their way to bed, but they do it anyways. </p><p>Hyoga’s mask comes off first, the furs along with it, then it’s Ukyo’s turn and soon his tunic is on the floor by the fire too. He makes an effort to kick it out of the way of any embers that might float over. And then he’s being pulled back into Hyoga’s orbit. </p><p>They make it to the pallet, and there’s a short struggle as they both try to take Hyoga’s boots off quickly, cursing when his heel gets stuck in the left one. He almost flings it into the fire when he manages to free himself. </p><p>Ukyo smiles against his lips, wrapping his arms around his neck again and climbing into his lap.</p><p>“Fucking boots,” Hyoga mutters, “I don’t know why I keep wearing them.”</p><p>“Don’t get rid of them, they’re hot,” Ukyo says back between kisses. </p><p>Grunting in response, Hyoga pulls him in by the waist. His hand slides down to grab a handful of Ukyo’s ass, bringing them even closer together with nothing in between them.</p><p>Not for the first time, Ukyo thinks he misses the days they indulge in foreplay. But today, there’s something about it that makes him feel like he needs this. It’s not rushed, just… like it would be a waste of time every second he’s not completely surrounded by Hyoga.</p><p>He’s pretty sure it’s the only thing that keeps him from really realizing what he’s doing. Who he’s doing.</p><p>Breaking the kiss, he sucks in a shaking breath, he can’t let himself think that much right now.</p><p>“You know,” Ukyo says, his voice is breathy. “I’m still mad at you for that comment this morning.”</p><p>“Mmn?” Hyoga kisses him hard again, not letting him pull away with a hand on the back of his neck. It’s annoying but Ukyo doesn’t put up a fight. “Shouldn’t dish out what you can’t take.”</p><p>“Maybe you shouldn’t,” Ukyo retorts, biting his lip hard. Hyoga hisses, leaning with it as Ukyo pulls back without letting go. He does, just to say, “Don’t think I get on my back for any reason other than because I want to.”</p><p>Hyoga licks his lip when he’s finally not getting dragged around by Ukyo’s mouth. Cracks his eyes open to appraise Ukyo. “S’that so?”</p><p>“If I didn’t want to lay down for you I wouldn’t,” Ukyo tells him. He means it... They’re still breathing each other’s air, Hyoga’s got a palm-full of ass and he uses it to drag them impossibly closer. </p><p>Ukyo sighs at that, his erection pushing into Hyoga’s lower stomach where he’s sitting in his lap. </p><p>“You saying you want me to take you for a change?” Hyoga asks him, lips moving against Ukyo’s as he speaks. </p><p>It makes Ukyo pull back, just a little, enough to look him better in the eye. He sees nothing to make him think Hyoga is joking in those dark eyes. He bites his own lip this time, raises an eyebrow at Hyoga’s words. “You’d do it?”</p><p>Hyoga pulls him into another harsh kiss.</p><p>Ukyo tastes blood.</p><p>Oops. That’s probably his fault.</p><p>He’s pressed into the pillows, yet again, and for a moment he thinks Hyoga is about to make a fool out of him before he’s pulling back just to straddle Ukyo’s hips.</p><p>He sits on Ukyo, his own erection standing against his abs, and leans down to bracket Ukyo’s head with his hands. </p><p>“Can’t say I’m against the idea,” he tells him, a sly grin curling on his lips. It twists his scars in a way that always makes Ukyo’s fight or flight kick in. His heart starts to beat even faster but he doesn’t mind. </p><p>A little speechless at the position he’s found himself in, Ukyo watches Hyoga on full display as he leans over to grab the little clay pot of oil they left by the bed, glad that they thought ahead. His body moves differently when he’s on Ukyo. Like he’s showing off in a different way. </p><p>Hyoga pours the oil on his hands and reaches down, grabbing Ukyo’s dick and pulling a sharp hiss from him as he pumps his length a few times. He wasn’t expecting the touch until Hyoga was prepped and it takes him off guard.</p><p>Then Hyoga’s sitting up on his knees, guiding Ukyo to his entrance already and Ukyo nearly panics.</p><p>“You’re not going to prep yourself?” He stresses.</p><p>Hyoga pauses, looks at him long and hard with a heavy blink. “I think I’ll be all right.”</p><p>For the second time that day, Ukyo gawks at him. </p><p>“Did you just call my dick small?” He’s never been insecure about his size, but damn.</p><p>Hyoga slumps, takes a deep breath and lets it out as he shakes his head. “No, Ukyo, your dick is fine. It’s just nothing to worry about.”</p><p>Scowling, Ukyo flicks Hyoga’s kneecap. “Well, maybe I wanted to prep you.”</p><p>That makes Hyoga smile down at him, an interested tilt to his lips. “Next time.” </p><p>And then he lowers himself down easily and it pushes the air out of Ukyo’s lungs. His hands scramble to hold onto Hyoga’s thighs. Smoothing up the skin of his legs to his muscles, hissing as Hyoga takes him all in one go.</p><p>Above him, Hyoga’s chest is heaving, lips parted as his ass hits flush to Ukyo’s hips. Adjusting. He rolls his neck back. </p><p>Ukyo thinks it’s the most incredible view he’s ever seen but he’s not about to admit that. </p><p>After a moment, Hyoga leans back to grab Ukyo’s legs for leverage. He shifts to make sure his heels are stable on the bed, providing the support he needs to lift himself up before sliding back down agonizingly slow. </p><p>Holy shit.</p><p>Ukyo’s hands can’t sit still where he slides them up and down Hyoga’s thighs, soothing the skin as he sets an agonizingly slow pace. His lips are still parted, still breathing heavily as he focuses on his motions. </p><p>Ukyo thinks he’s going to go insane.</p><p>He watches the way Hyoga’s abs flex, the way his thighs tense every time he lifts up to drop back down. Fully in control. And it looks like he’s getting the right spot every time.</p><p>When the initial overload calms down, Ukyo makes sure to study how he moves. The angle he takes makes his breath hitch. What makes his jaw shake, his tongue flick out to his swollen lower lip. It’s too bright of a red, and yeah, Ukyo definitely got him good when he bit him.</p><p>Once he’s got a good idea of the angle Hyoga keeps seeking, Ukyo shifts their weight, sets his feet apart better. Hyoga just barely catches on before Ukyo’s thrusting up to meet his motions.</p><p>The first one punches a low groan out of Hyoga’s throat.</p><p>He’s more than a little smug that he got the right angle on the first try.</p><p>“Fuck.” Hyoga curses. And it’s Ukyo’s turn to smile before he picks up his pace, fucking up into Hyoga as he keeps the beat. </p><p>Never in a million years would Ukyo have expected the consistent grunts that sound from Hyoga’s red chest, but he’s quite happy about this discovery. </p><p>“Touch yourself.”</p><p>Hyoga does as he’s told, shifting one hand off of Ukyo’s legs to start pumping his own length. He lets Ukyo do the work now, chest heaving, abs tensing as he gets close. </p><p>The sight is fucking incredible.</p><p>Ukyo hates that he feels like something is missing. The build-up is there but the peak feels too far to reach. He swallows hard, his neck feeling exposed.</p><p>He keeps fucking Hyoga, watches as he comes to his own completion, a low moan ripping from his throat. It’s not loud by any means but it may as well be with how it hits Ukyo’s ears. </p><p>He cums over Ukyo’s stomach.</p><p>Then he uses the same hand and wraps it around Ukyo’s throat. He squeezes.</p><p>Ukyo gasps, his hips stuttering up into Hyoga. He grinds down on him, still tense from his climax.</p><p>The world goes fuzzy, his senses drowning out and narrowing down to where their bodies connect. To the hand around his neck. The sound around him drowning out the rush of blood in his ears. The euphoric way his head spins from it all.</p><p>He finishes, his own breath turning into a moan. </p><p>Hyoga doesn’t move from him, cock soft on Ukyo’s stomach, chest still heaving and red. His eyes are open, looking down at Ukyo from where he’s practically holding himself up by Ukyo’s neck.</p><p>He slips a little, pressing into Ukyo’s airways and he coughs. </p><p>It has Hyoga moving his hand fast. “Fuck, sorry.”</p><p>Ukyo clears his throat, shakes his head, it’s fine really. </p><p>Pulling off of Ukyo, Hyoga collapses boneless next to Ukyo. For once, his composure is absolutely gone.</p><p>Ukyo thinks it’s a look that suits him. The way his hair spreads out on the pillow and sticks to the sweat on his brow. He’s panting, there’s blood on his lips but it’s not too bad. It’s a good thing he wears a mask or they’d never hear the end of this one.</p><p>After a moment, Ukyo gets his senses back to him. “Shit, you’re gonna fuck up the bed, hang on.” He sits up, leans to where they left rags by the oil.</p><p>“And whose fault is that?”</p><p>Ukyo glares at him where he’s leaning over Hyoga to reach. “The way you had me, I don’t think I could have pulled out if I wanted to.”</p><p>Hyoga seems to consider that for a second. “Fair enough.”</p><p>Laughing lightly, Ukyo gets between Hyoga’s legs, lifting one by the back of his knee to clean him up.</p><p>The fire still burns steadily, but a breeze blows in from the cave opening making them both shiver hard.</p><p>“Shit,” Ukyo hisses, finishing cleaning Hyoga up and wiping quickly at his stomach. He folds the cloth again checks at his neck. “You got cum on my neck.”</p><p>“And I’ll do it again.”</p><p>Ukyo rolls his eyes but he’s not mad. At all. It was kind of hot even, but he wasn’t about to admit that. He tosses the cloth aside from now, unfolds the bear hide blanket and pulls it over them both, tucking himself into Hyoga’s side where he’s lying on his back.</p><p>His head flops on Hyoga’s shoulder. He’s not quite exhausted, but that had to be some of the most intense sex Ukyo’s ever had. Even with Hyoga, who somehow managed to make just about every time mindblowing. </p><p>“Sleeping already?”</p><p>Frowning, Ukyo props his chin up on Hyoga’s chest for the second time that day. He meets his eyes, raises an eyebrow. “Yes?”</p><p>Before he realizes what’s happening, he’s flipped on his back again, Hyoga’s leg between his, leaning down into his space. He presses their lips together in a hard kiss that Ukyo thinks has to hurt with the cut he’s got going on.</p><p>One arm slides up Ukyo’s thigh, hitching it around his waist. Automatic, Ukyo glides his own hands up to grab at Hyoga’s shoulders. </p><p>“I’m not done with you yet.”</p><p>Ukyo thinks that moving in together may not have been too bad.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Bottom Hyoga. As a treat~</p><p>P.s. --<br/>Please do not purposely bite someone's lip that hard y'all.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. I’m not heartless.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay I wanted to get these chapters out cause I'm as impatient as always. But I'm trying to proof-read I promise.</p><p>Y'all are gonna hate me for this update.</p><p>TW: flashbacks, nightmares, death, mentions of death, mentions of hypothermia</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Going two rounds before falling asleep in Hyoga’s arms is, for once, not enough to hold back the nightmare Ukyo has that night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reliving the moment the arrow flies again, and again, and again. The sound of the man’s skull being pierced. The shout of fear the horticulturist lets out when it flies past his ear. The horror in his eyes when the deadweight pulls him down with the man as he slumps back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The arrow had enough momentum to send the man backwards into the rock face. The crack of his skull as it hit first. His eyes frozen open in death. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo wakes up gasping. He scrambles, hands flying to his throat. He can’t breathe. He can’t see. He’s not sure where he is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hears the curse behind him in sharp reality and it triggers the rush of his senses to hit him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s cold. The slight crackle of the low burning fire sounds like a firecracker to his sensitive ears. It’s not enough to heat the space anymore and he’s shivering in the dark. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s motion beside him and he jumps when Hyoga’s arms wrap around him from behind, caging him in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not real,” Hyoga whispers, pressing his forehead against Ukyo’s shoulder blade, squeezing him tight. “You’re okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo’s shivering hard, not fully processing the words or where he is. The blanket pooling on his lap is warm, soft from their body heat. Behind him, Hyoga’s skin burns like a furnace. One of his thumbs rubs at Ukyo’s skin soothingly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everyone’s safe,” Hyoga says again. He’s speaking under his breath. Barely a rush of sound but perfectly clear to Ukyo. It’s gentle to his aggravated senses. A soft relief to the way everything around him seems to beat him down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Hyoga’s there, warm, solid, quiet. Holding him down in that moment before his mind can pull him back into that memory now that he’s awake. That’s happened a few times, after these nightmares, where he’ll just relive it in the real world once he wakes up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s hard to tell how much time passes when Ukyo finally calms down. His breath slowing, even, leaning back into Hyoga’s warmth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s shivering, but this time it’s just from the cold air.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stirring with all the sluggishness of a man shaken from the dead of sleep, Hyoga moves behind him. “I’m not going far.” He promises against Ukyo’s skin before standing up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo stares at the blanket in his naked lap. Nods. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A moment later he can hear Hyoga gathering tinder from the small pile he brought with him before stoking the fire’s embers. It flares back to life, taking up a small blaze once again and warming the air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It would probably make sense to move, to pull the blanket around him, but even if the thought passes through his head, he can’t get the command to reach his limbs. His muscles stiff. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But then the fire is once again enough to keep them warm in the dead of winter and Hyoga is joining him on their bed pallet again. Saying nothing, he tugs Ukyo to lay down, face to the flames, so he can wrap around him from the back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His lips press into the top of Ukyo’s head where it’s pillowed on Hyoga’s arm, the other wrapped tight around him. The length of Hyoga’s body is warm, burning, and the fire in front of him is bright, the rising temperature easing the tension in his muscles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The crackle of the flames no longer feels so harsh, even if it is louder than before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Closing his eyes, Ukyo presses himself back into Hyoga’s warmth. Feels the way his arm squeezes him tighter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The last thing Ukyo thinks before he falls asleep again is that, if Hyoga is it for him in this Stone World, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>___</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it doesn’t matter if Ukyo doesn’t mind it, even if it’s Hyoga. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because at the end of winter, they’ll be going to war against Senku and the villagers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Ukyo will betray them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>___</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first death comes a week later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of their more recently revived warriors who hadn’t adjusted to the wilderness enough before winter hit. He had a lot of muscle mass that couldn’t be sustained with the restricted diet they all had to manage to make it through the season. And for that, he overestimated his own strength.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d gone down to the river with a few other men to gather fresh water. But when he tried to pull his bucket out of the hole they’d cut in the ice, there was something off about his posture. It was heavier than he expected, he held his weight all wrong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he fell into the water, under the ice before anyone could pull him out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was too thick to even know where he was. The snow piled up on top of the ice for the stretch of the river.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was just… gone. They said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It leaves Ukyo shaken, but he hides it well. Or at least he thinks he does until Hyoga is cornering him that night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tsukasa asked me to check in with you,” Hyoga says. He’s propped up on one elbow to hover over Ukyo. His other hand comes up to push the hair out of his eyes. It’s getting long, he’ll need to ask someone to help him cut it soon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Check in with me?” Ukyo responds, a little breathless by the way the firelight is flickering across Hyoga’s features tonight. It’s nothing he hasn’t seen before, so why does it feel different?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s worried this death will trigger your nightmares again,” Hyoga explains. His hand traces down the back of his head to his neck. His thumb caressing under Ukyo’s jaw in that way he does. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah, of course. “What good would I be if I’m too sleep deprived, right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga doesn’t say anything but Ukyo can feel the way the pads of his fingertips dig into the skin at his hairline. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hasn’t had a nightmare since the one he had a week ago on their first night together. And for that he’s grateful to whatever part of his subconscious decided when he’d have to relive that memory. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Hyoga. He can’t make the words leave his throat, but he’s grateful to Hyoga. For holding him down every time. For getting him through every night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo’s not sure if he’d have made it this far without that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay,” Ukyo says. “I think I’m okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In response, Hyoga closes the distance between them with a kiss. Ukyo lets his arms wrap around his back, holds tight as he feels his heart race.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>___</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A snow storm hits in the middle of the day almost a month later. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They saw the storm clouds on the horizon, but quite frankly, none of them could have predicted the way they closed in on the empire in a matter of a few hours. None of them had the skills to foretell weather like that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There are about five people missing. All of whom had been out for one reason or another. Two men to bring in more fresh water, a woman who had been searching for something she had dropped a day before, the horticulturist -- who had been searching for a type of root --, and the food scientist who had gone with them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The snow falls down hard, the wind biting when it shifts direction to blast inside their cave system. The fires struggle to stay burning amidst it all but with the valiant effort of their masses, they manage to keep the internal temperature livable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the distance, through the snow, Ukyo can hear someone calling out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s someone nearby,” Ukyo tells them, ready to break out of the caves. He feels the urgency bubbling into his throat like something desperate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga grabs him by the back of the collar, choking him for a second and nearly making him tumble backwards. “Hold it, Ukyo-kun,” he stops him, “don’t be so hasty.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He whirls on the other man, the anxiety he’s fighting down filling him with restless energy. He doesn’t have </span>
  <em>
    <span>time. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re close enough I can hear them clearly,” Ukyo tells him, looks past Hyoga’s frame at where Tsukasa is watching them both. “They’re probably just having a hard time getting back here through the flurries.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their discussion grows louder, attracting a small crowd of their citizens. He makes eye contact with Nikki who looks about ready to join him in his efforts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have the resources to help you recover from this,” Tsukasa tells him honestly, “If you don’t make it back in time again, we won’t be able to send a search party for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Please! ... Ukyo!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>calling my name,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ukyo insists. “They’re close enough to know I can hear them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go with him.” Nikki steps up, adjusting her coat over her shoulders. “Whoever made it back this far, we can’t abandon. I agree with Ukyo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He offers her an emphatically thankful look, shifting towards the entrance to run.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga and Tsukasa exchange a look, neither of them seem happy about it. But while they’re too busy trying to silently decide their course of action, Ukyo and Nikki catch each other’s eyes. They make a break for it, running out the entrance of the cave before anyone can stop them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hears them calling for them both, an aborted attempt once they realize it’s too late. He’s set on saving this person. And it seems Nikki is too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of five. He may only get to save one of five.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Like hell he’d ignore them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What direction?” Nikki shouts over the wind as the trudge through the thick layer of snow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lifts his arm, pointing north. He hears his name called once again, the voice getting fainter. The wind howls, cutting off the struggling call. They need to hurry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Keeping their heads down inside their coats, they keep running. Ukyo gauges that they have less than a kilometer to find this person. Survivable, but not easy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They find the woman doubled over in the snow, shivering stiff and immobilized. It had been a good half hour she would have been in the storm, her clothes are frozen, hardened. It’s a wonder she could move. Ukyo’s about to lift the woman onto his shoulders when Nikki is beating him to it, hauling her easily into a fireman’s carry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time they get back, their skin is raw, red, Ukyo can’t feel his ears or the skin of his face, and he’s barely able to move his fingers inside his gloves. He wonders how many storms they’d have like this. Doesn’t remember ever having more than one nasty storm in a season. He wonders if the weather patterns have changed that much already. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps this is what true winter is like without the effects of humanity to warm the atmosphere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stumble back inside the community cave, the warmth from the fire a welcome shift. Nikki is already moving their charge over to where Yuzuriha and some of the others have prepared what they need to treat hypothermia. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He debates joining them, but then they have to strip the woman down to remove the frozen furs, so he decides otherwise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s sweating in his clothes, the texture already turning stiff under his arms and on his stomach. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukasa doesn’t look happy when he returns to where the king is watching it all. He looks frustrated, but nonetheless, when Ukyo approaches him and Hyoga a few paces away, he sighs. The relief is clear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You and Nikki did well, Ukyo,” he concedes, rubbing at his forehead. “But as much as it pains me to say it, don’t even think about going out for the others.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He figured as much. Agrees easily. He can’t see Hyoga’s eyes, but Ukyo knows the man well enough to practically feel the annoyance he’s projecting his way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> “She’d made it close enough for me to hear her,” he tells them both. “It was worth it to take the risk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inhaling deeply, Tsukasa lets out a careful breath, looks over to where Nikki and the woman are being shrouded in blankets while they bundle together by the fire. Ukyo knows first hand how much the body heat helps. It makes him realize his own state of chill and he shivers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d have had to hear her calling me until it was too late,” Ukyo speaks under his breath. The thought of it made the chills worse. He feels his muscles start to shiver harshly. That he may have had to sit there, waiting, as this woman called to him until she died. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He may not have stood a chance to save the others, but this he’d needed to do. It brought back memories from before, the sound of children crying beneath rubble. The cries of an elderly man dying beneath an avalanche when it took his crew too long to get to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the past, when he had the resources, this had been his job.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s that which makes the other two seem to relent, no longer looking like annoyed parents at the fact that Ukyo wanted to save the people he was responsible for. A few of them have crowded by the entrance, just inside where the flurries reached. He can hear them talking, </span>
  <em>
    <span>what about the others? </span>
  </em>
  <span>There’s still four more of their own out there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It makes Ukyo’s gut wrench.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga finally stirs from his position. “Come on,” he says, walking past Ukyo, “you need to warm up, as well. Before you get sick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s not wrong. And Ukyo follows him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At first he’s surprised that they don’t go back to one of the bigger fires inside, where there’s people and food, and warmth. No, instead, Hyoga leads him through towards the back tunnels. The ones they hardly use when the outside is free, as there’s no lighting inside. The steps are hard to see, but they’re dry and free from the storm. He grabs a piece of tinder from an active fire, brandishing it as a torch to light the dark stairway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re hardly inside their room when Hyoga is turning on him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo can’t say he wasn’t expecting something like this and lets the man crowd him against the wall. He’s still shivering, his muscles sore from it. But Hyoga radiates heat and as he closes the space between them, Ukyo can tell even through the frozen furs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, it looks like he’s going to say something, and Ukyo prepares to be scolded. To snap back just as sharp if he must. He knows that they’re not happy with him, but honestly, Ukyo’s not too pleased with their reactions either. He can make choices for himself. And if they don’t like them, they don’t have the right to hold him back. They don’t have the right to do whatever it was they just did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were equals here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s open eyes search his for a long moment. He’s still freezing, wondering how long this is going to take as he feels the fur melt against his skin in some places. It’s uncomfortable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just when Ukyo thinks he’s going to say something, Hyoga just sighs, leans forward until their foreheads are pressed together, free hand wrapping around Ukyo’s waist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How many times are you going to be running into blizzards, Ukyo?” He asks, eyes closing. Ukyo can hear the way he swallows hard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s  not sure what to think of this. Says, “Third times the charm, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga huffs a laugh, pulls away from him to stoke a fire for them both. “Take off those clothes before you get hypothermia.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo doesn’t have to be told twice, shedding the furs and his tunic with them to lay by the fire. Now, with his skin bare in the cold room, he shivers harder. His teeth click together, and his movements are stilted as he sets his clothes to dry where Hyoga is adding more tinder. He sits down heavy in their bed, pulling the blanket around him and relishing in the warmth in front of him. It shouldn’t have been so crazy, to have gone out in the snow like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But the air here is colder than it was in the past. Their man made cave system doesn’t have the heating systems they had with technology. The furs were warm, but with the lack of resources and amount of people to clothe, they simply didn’t have enough layers for everyone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At least the blanket’s warm. And when Hyoga strips down to his skirt to get under the covers with him, Ukyo feels like he’s burning. He wraps around him from the back, much like the last time this had happened. Pulling the blanket around them both to trap in their body heat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As long as you don’t try to do it again,” Hyoga whispers against the skin of his shoulder. His arms around Ukyo’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not for you to decide,” Ukyo mumbles, “If I hear someone calling me, I can’t just… not help them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Hyoga says, sighs. “It’s just concerning how easily you’d risk your life for anyone. You’re too soft.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo resists the urge to roll his eyes. Thinks how Hyoga is calling him too soft, when really, the man’s too hardened. Too callous. Ukyo doubts he’d ever understand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try not to nearly die again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s all I ask. Have some value in yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leaning back into him, Ukyo feels himself pout just a little. “You say that like you care.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, Hyoga is silent. Ukyo almost thinks he’s angered him. But his arms are wrapped so tight around Ukyo that he’s gripping his arms, thumbs brushing on his chilled skin. It’s nice, Ukyo thinks, settling more of his weight into him, feeling sleepy. There’s not much to do in the winter. Even less in a snowstorm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve told you, Ukyo-kun.” Hyoga’s voice is a breath on his skin. There’s something deeper to it, something earnest. It makes goosebumps rise on Ukyo’s skin. “I’m not heartless.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. You’ve killed, just like I have</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is when shit starts to go south, y'all, mind the trigger warnings over the next few chapters please.</p><p>TW: Graphic death, hypothermia, freezing to death, panic attacks, flashbacks, dissociation, mentions of sex, mentions of erotic asphyxiation, abusive language,</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When the storm clears, they find the horticulturist’s body just meters from the entrance to the caves. Fallen face first in the snow. Frozen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s jolting, when they call for help about it. Calling for their leaders that there’s been a body found. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo wakes, groggy, head clouded. Hyoga’s arm heavy on his waist. They’d been up late, keeping Ukyo distracted from how helpless he felt over the missing members of their kingdom. He’s sore, muscles well used after the winter had him getting just a little soft. He’d have to up his own workouts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hears them calling, the message hitting his ears clearly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He jumps, scrambling to find his clothes, nearly kicking Hyoga in his desperation to get up. The man groans, rolling to the side to shove his face in the pillows. Normally, he’s up first. But admittedly, they wore each other out last night. If he could hear the way people are shouting, Ukyo thinks he’d be rushing, too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They found a body,” Ukyo tells him, pulling on his pants. Jumping a bit to get them on faster. The fabric doesn’t stretch like clothes used to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’ll be fine,” Hyoga waves it off, but he’s sitting up, snatching his skirt off the ground and pulling it on his hips underneath the blanket. Ukyo still doesn’t get how he decides to go without pants but between his boots, coat, cloak, and the way his muscle mass puts out heat it must not be too bad. “Tsukasa should handle it anyways.” And yet he starts to pull on his boots.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s still shrugging on his coat, his cloak. He fumbles with the fastenings of his mask in his sleepy state and Ukyo hesitates in his own rush, already prepared and dressed to rush outside. He stops, moves into Hyoga’s space and pushes his hands away to help him with it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His arms are around Hyoga’s neck like this, and he takes full advantage of their position, leaning into Ukyo, pulling him into an embrace by the waist. Hyoga presses his forehead into Ukyo’s shoulder. Grumbles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please,” Ukyo breathes, flattening Hyoga’s bed hair. “I can hear them, I can’t ignore it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a rush of breath across his neck before he’s being released. He offers Hyoga the slightest of smiles before he steps away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just barely registers the flush that hits Hyoga’s cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t have time for it right now, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a crowd gathered, Ukyo can see them from where he’s coming down the latticework, sliding on ice to skate down faster. It’s close. Just a few meters from the entrance. He gets to the bottom at the same time Tsukasa emerges from the communal hall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Some of them are crying. Some of them look as though they want to look away but can’t as Tsukasa pushes his way through. They didn’t move the body until he could investigate himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo looks at the way the man fell into the snow. Like he’d been trudging, pushing through on frostbitten legs for too long. Just to fall forward within reach of salvation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I went to take a piss before sleeping last night,” one man sniffs, Ukyo sees he’s one of the warriors who often helped the gathering team when Taiju was too busy to lift. “I didn’t see him then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taiju himself is in tears nearby, sniveling with an arm around Yuzuriha’s shoulders as she rubs at his back comfortingly. He’s so distraught, he doesn’t even blush at her proximity. “He was so close!” He bawls, “One of us could have heard him if he shouted!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo feels cold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t blame yourself, Taiju,” Yuzuriha reassures him, “the wind was loud last night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Nikki sniffs, she’s doing a good job hiding her emotions behind the way everyone’s nose is red from the cold. If Ukyo didn’t know better to hear the slight thickness in her throat, he’d never know. “It’s loud in there with everyone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But it’s still so--” Taiju blubbers, too choked up to say anything more, he cuts himself off and bawls. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even Minami is holding herself tighter against the cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Someone could have heard him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukasa finally raises his voice, ever so gently above all their commotion, “It’s a tragedy. He was a valued member of our kingdom. But we knew that winter would be merciless.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Someone should have heard him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need to make arrangements for the body,” Hyoga says, he’s just behind Ukyo’s shoulder. His voice, raised for the rest to hear, overwhelms Ukyo. Hadn’t this man been someone Hyoga was close to? They’d had relations. Did it not phase him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He was right </span>
  </em>
  <span>there. The man was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so close. Someone should have heard him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll need to cremate him,” Tsukasa orders, gestures towards the north end. “The ground will be too frozen to dig deep enough. We’ll hold a vigil tonight. For now, we should try to find the others that were lost.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They start to make arrangements for a search party. Questions are asked to where they might find them. Shifts are decided, it’s too cold, in a few hours they’ll need to switch out. Tsukasa doesn’t want anyone over exerting themselves. They still have at least a month and a half of winter left. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ukyo should have heard him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s still. Unable to look away from the form nearly buried in the snow. He’d even been at the end of the storm. He had survived so long, come so close, just to die </span>
  <em>
    <span>meters </span>
  </em>
  <span>from a chance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s no way Ukyo wouldn’t have heard him. If he so much as breathed too loud, Ukyo should have noticed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was he doing that would keep him from --</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukyo-kun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo was having sex with Hyoga. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’d gone more than once last night. It had been… intense. There had been something urgent to the way Hyoga had been all over him. Inside him. Consuming him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fingers wrapped around his neck to choke him until Ukyo couldn’t hear anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo could have heard this man. Ukyo should have heard this man.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Ukyo was too busy getting fucked to do the one thing he was good for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukyo-kun.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a hand on his shoulder and Ukyo blinks. Turns to look at Hyoga, who looks… like something. Ukyo can’t think of what emotion that is. He isn’t even sure what he feels himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What he can recognize is the way something clouds over Hyoga’s face, pinching his brow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks unhappy. Not mad. Just. Not happy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulls Ukyo away from the crowd, drags him into one of the lesser used caves where they store their food frozen. Chunks of ice they cut away to melt for drinking, and tinder kept dry. There’s enough supplies in here, stacked up the walls of the smaller hall that the outside noise doesn’t echo so loud. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His legs can’t keep up with the way Hyoga’s dragging him back through the storage, to the back hallways, out of view of everyone else, where it’s dark. Almost quiet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo hears static. A high pitch ringing in his ears turning the sounds that meet him there into a shrieking symphony of white noise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukyo,” Hyoga puts his hands on both of his shoulders. “You’re blaming yourself. Aren’t you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo looks up at him. It takes forever for him to process the words spoken at him. The ringing in his ears berating him down. He winces at the pain of it, feels his face twist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then Hyoga’s hands are over his ears, shutting out the outside world. For one moment, Ukyo feels relief. And it’s just long enough for it to dawn on him what he’s allowing and he panics.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” He pushes away from Hyoga, back hitting the wall. “No, that’s how he-- that’s how I didn’t--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t,” Hyoga snaps back. His hands fall to his sides under his cloak, but he’s still there. “Ukyo, you don’t know if he called out. You don’t know how long he’s been there. You don’t know when he returned, and if you were sleeping then what could you have done?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And if I wasn’t?” Ukyo challenges, his voice breaking in a sob. Fuck. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck. </span>
  </em>
  <span>No, he can’t be crying over this. He needs to go back out there, to be there for everyone. He needs to lead one of those search parties. “What if it was-- what if we were-- and he was dying. Hyoga, what if he called for me and I didn’t hear him because I was trying </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>to hear him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s looking at him. Ukyo thinks he looks helpless. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo <em>feels</em> helpless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know that,” Hyoga tells him. “You can’t blame yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But if, if it was because I didn’t want to hear,” he’s crying now. He hates himself. He rubs the sleeves of his coat under his eyes. Sniffs hard to try and fight back the emotions running wild under his skin. In his mind’s eye, he sees the arrow fly. “Then I killed him. I should have heard him, and I didn’t want to, and I killed him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga says nothing, finally giving into something in the way his body lurches forward, crowding around Ukyo. He grabs him by the face, gloves hands swiping along his cheeks. Ukyo grips hard at his forearms, tries to anchor himself down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should have been listening,” he sobs, sucks in a breath and nearly chokes on it. Wishes he did. “She, the woman-- she knew to call for me. I should have been prepared.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault, Ukyo,” Hyoga swipes at another tear that runs out of his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It hits him then. “I didn’t even know his name,” Ukyo feels the way something in him breaks, he grips harder where he’s practically holding himself up in the other man’s grasp. “Hyoga, I didn’t even know his name.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulls him in and Ukyo lets him. Falls into him. Buries his face in the fur of his coat and sobs. Trying to hold it back no longer serves him anything. The whole world has narrowed down to a pin hole and he’s standing too deep inside to do anything with himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga squeezes him tight, and it helps. With all the awareness it gives him, Ukyo tries to hold him back. To squeeze just as tight. To hold himself down where Hyoga is anchoring him to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thinks about how Hyoga must have known his name. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Ukyo never bothered to ask the man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And now he’s dead.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The nightmares come back with a vengeance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But this time, when he lets the arrow fly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It embeds itself between the eyes of the horticulturist. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Ukyo knows that Hyoga is doing his best to get him through this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knows it can’t be easy. The way Ukyo wakes up every night, crying, sometimes shouting out, startling the other from sleep. The way he holds onto Hyoga when he’s inside of Ukyo so hard the skin on his back breaks. The way he has to cover Ukyo’s ears in the dead of night to get him to breathe. The way Ukyo’s falling apart at the seams. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And in the morning, they have to wake up, they have to oversee their people. They have to make sure things are working right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a few days. In the long stretch of the season where everyone’s too busy trying to keep warm to try any of their duties, Tsukasa sends them both back to get some sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t help. And on those days, when they wake from a nap and Ukyo’s too loud, Hyoga has to find a way to shut him up, too. Before anyone could hear how distressing it all must sound. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knows it’s wearing on Hyoga. He looks tired. They both are. But there’s a haggardness to Hyoga that’s different. Like he’s run out of options.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo wishes that he could have a dreamless sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Ukyo should feel bad for the way he knows he’s dependent on the other man. For the way he tries to drown himself in physical touch until they’re both covered in bruises from the way they hold each other so tight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But that’s the thing, Hyoga holds him just as rough. If not more. Like he’s trying to physically hold Ukyo together as he falls apart through the thick of winter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wonders how long it’ll last before Hyoga’s fed up with it all.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>That time comes nearly a month after they found all four bodies lost that night. Nearly a month after they were cremated. A vigil held in silence by Tsukasa’s order. Hyoga’s expression was stoic where he stood at Ukyo’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he was still there. A solid presence when Tsukasa said all their names.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo realized he didn’t know any of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Had he really never bothered to learn them? He’d been living with them all for so long. Their population was so small.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Where had he been that whole time? Where was his mind anymore?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And now it’s a month after, and neither Ukyo nor Hyoga have slept more than a few hours a night thanks to Ukyo’s god forsaken nightmares. No amount of sex can stop it this time around, but nonetheless, it eases it some. Gives them a few hours or reprieve before dawn, if Hyoga fucks him hard with a hand around his neck. With Ukyo’s hands gripping him so tightly he can barely put a hair's breadth between them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every time they’re apart, Ukyo feels cold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re in the communal space. The snow has stopped falling fresh, and even though it’s still freezing outside, everyone can tell it’s nearing the end of it. Just another month at most, until it all thaws, Tsukasa thinks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, it’s time to start preparing. To check the remaining stores and see how many people their rations can provide for. How many men they can revive and begin to train before the spring comes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re instructed to prepare to start training again. They have more than enough food left, and the animals would come back within a few weeks. Tsukasa wants them to be war ready by the time the ice thaws. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo can’t even think about war yet. But there’s nothing else to be done. Running the borders is pointless when the entirety of the kingdom is crowded down and condensed to a few communal areas for warmth. As long as he runs down to the river and back twice a day, there’s no real reason to go further. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He offers it once, during one of their discussions with Minami. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukasa shuts him down, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want to go out in the ice and snow on your own, Ukyo?” the king asks, and he doesn’t look angry, but Ukyo thinks his voice has a harsher edge than usual. “When you’re so sleep deprived you can barely stand up right. Can you even fire your arrow these days?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It makes him pause. Automatically feeling his posture straighten like it would when he was questioned back in the navy. When someone in his ranks fucked up and they were all held accountable. Even if Tsukasa isn’t shouting the same, it brings him back there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I--.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you not to let your views cloud your mind here, Ukyo,” Tsukasa sighs. “I warned you. That you can’t let your conscience keep you from doing your job here. This isn’t the old world. Death </span>
  <em>
    <span>happens. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And you need to deal with it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He says nothing. He can barely feel his own skin or the way the cold air dries his eyes. All he can do is listen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And now you're here, sleep deprived, </span>
  <em>
    <span>both of you</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he turns his aggravation to Hyoga as well, “Both my right hand men are </span>
  <em>
    <span>useless</span>
  </em>
  <span> because you let your emotions get the best of you. We still have a month of winter left, and I can’t trust either of you to function.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tsukasa…” Minami voices, her voice soft. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ignores her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you both not to let your relationship interfere with your jobs,” Tsukasa sighs, scrubbing a hand down his face. A part of Ukyo wants to argue that they’re not in a relationship. But he figures what’s the point? Would it even matter? Does anyone care what they call it if they’re just… whatever it is they are. Then he says low enough that no one in the surrounding area can hear. “Ukyo I’m removing you from duty for now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can hear the sharp inhale Hyoga takes. The way Minami even seems shocked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo can’t say he relates to their surprise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Until you sleep off whatever this is, I don’t want you interfering with preparations for the spring.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nodding, he concedes. There’s nothing to argue. Ukyo doesn’t want to be the reason someone dies again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re free to go back to your room now,” Tsukasa dismisses him. And Ukyo nods again. Feeling empty. He turns and leaves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Behind him he can hear, “You, Hyoga, focus,” Tsukasa says, “We have a revival mission later, unless you think you need to sit this one out, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...No. No, I’ll be there.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Hyoga finds him that night while he’s sitting before the fire, arms wrapped around his knees. He’s down to his tunic to avoid sweating in his furs before bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s got his cheek pressed to one kneecap. The fire is bright, and he’s staring at the dimmer embers at the bottom. He’s not sure how long he’s been there but he doesn’t remember when the sun set.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They make eye contact and Hyoga takes a pause in the entry way. Looks at Ukyo hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo gazes back, exhaustion weighing down heavy and pounding in his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a moment, Hyoga sighs, moves to strip out of his coat and furs. Turns them inside out to dry of his sweat. They’d have to all be washed soon. His and Ukyo’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe that’s something he could do tomorrow. To be somewhat useful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re too soft, Ukyo-kun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The words have him lifting his head to look at Hyoga over the fire pit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you, back then didn’t I?” Hyoga says. He’s peeling his gloves off, too. Rubs his bare fingers at the corners of his eyes. “That we all have to find a way to cope here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo frowns. “Yeah, I remember.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then what have you been doing? This whole time,” Hyoga asks him. There’s a shakiness to his voice. “Why are you still like this? Ruined, over an accident?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean what have I been doing?” Ukyo gapes at him. He blinks hard, shakes his head. “What have </span>
  <em>
    <span>we </span>
  </em>
  <span>been doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga narrows a glare at him. The stay like that, gazes locked and frustration building, until Hyoga scoffs. “Is that what this is then? This is how you’re coping?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you think it was?” He keeps his voice level. Careful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, Ukyo,” Hyoga says, shrugging hard and throwing his gloves down. He reaches behind his head to take his mask off. “Most people wouldn’t call all this,” he waves between them, “a coping method. Most people don’t rely on being choked out every goddamn night,” Hyoga punctuates the statement by throwing his mask and fur collar to the ground. “As a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>coping mechanism.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well fucking, sorry then, let me just call up the insurance company, see if they cover therapy,” Ukyo snaps back, “Let me just drop by the doctor’s office and see what they can do for PTSD.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s not a fool. He’d been in the military long enough to know exactly what was happening to him. He’s just ashamed to admit he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge that reality enough back then to ever learn what to do if he were ever faced with that reality himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop being dramatic, with or without professionals, it’s obvious that </span>
  <em>
    <span>sex</span>
  </em>
  <span> and whatever the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>you’ve been using me for,” Hyoga runs his hands back through his hair. “Isn’t how you deal with this shit.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His scars are twisting in a furious scowl. There’s dark rings under his eyes that are wide with emotion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks… hurt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, fucking sorry I can’t be like you then,” Ukyo curses, stands up from the bed pallet. “Not all of us can be fucking murderers.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The look Hyoga aims at him is chilling. The way he glares. Hair falling in his face as he looks like it takes all of his self control not to react.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t.” He inhales through his nose. His mouth is twisted in a frown. “You’ve killed, just like I have. Willingly. You put an arrow between a man’s eyes without hesitation. Stop acting like you’re above me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s the first time Hyoga’s said it. The first time Hyoga’s breathed the act Ukyo committed. Up to that point, he’d only ever spoken of it in ways that carefully avoided what would have broken Ukyo the most. When everyone else in the kingdom had said it so easily, Hyoga had always known not to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s surprised how much it hurts. The pain Ukyo feels. To hear these words come from Hyoga at last. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I’m above you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Liar.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo is struck by how bitter he sounds. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t.” He breathes. But even he can tell how false it is. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not for the first time, Ukyo feels disgusted with himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s something in that moment that has him too aware of everything around him. The stone beneath his feet. The cold air biting the skin on the back of his neck where the fire doesn’t quite reach. He thinks that usually, by now, he’d be too warm in Hyoga’s arms to feel any of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The reality of the life he’s been living slowly creeps in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can feel the way his heart races at the thought of it. The way anxiety curls in his gut. It’s hard to breathe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only thing he can think to do is reach down and grab one of the bear hide blankets, throwing it around his shoulders and stalking to the edge of the fire’s light. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Turning his back on Hyoga, he sits down heavy. He won’t go downstairs. He won’t let them see the way he’s fuming right now like a jilted lover. Won’t give them anything more to talk about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he won’t be sleeping next to Hyoga that night either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s cold. The lower temperature at the edge of the fire’s reach is noticeable. And he can see outside into the night from here. But he can’t bring himself to look at Hyoga right then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo hears him scoff, scornful, muttering curses that make no sense under his breath. Like he started to say one thing, just to remember he could be heard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hears Hyoga settle into the bed pallets.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he never hears him fall asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Eventually Ukyo will start to properly help himself. Now is not that time.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. You're beautiful</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oof. </p><p>Mind the tags.</p><p>TW: mentions of sex, sex, oral sex, emotions, choking, overstimulation, biting, implied blood, crying during sex, Ukyo fucks with Hyoga's head in this chapter,</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shivering. Bitter. Angry. Still pissed off, and his pride a little wounded, Ukyo finally gives in some hours later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hasn’t slept, but he hasn’t really been awake either. Eyes half shut as he curled up on the floor with his blanket to try and sleep, only to be roused from unconsciousness with even the slightest sound from down below. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then it’s the sound of the fire burning that keeps him up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Through it all, he’s distinctly aware of the way Hyoga is tossing and turning where he lays alone as well. Of the way he gets up a few times to stoke the fire. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s so cold he can’t feel his toes, and he should have worn his tunic at least before pulling what he did, but he had not thought so far ahead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, with all the stubbornness he could project while he stood back up, Ukyo shuffles over to the bed pallets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His movement causes Hyoga to stir, he opens his eyes to see him coming, blinking groggy and exhausted at the way Ukyo drops down, petulant, beside him on the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wha--?” He grunts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo just throws the bear hide over them both so he can burrow under them and against Hyoga’s bare chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man hisses when Ukyo’s cold skin meets his.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit, you’re freezing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m still mad at you,” Ukyo huffs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s mutual,” Hyoga scoffs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he’s unfolding his arm for Ukyo to rest his head on and pulling him into his embrace. Hyoga tucks the blanket around his shoulders and they tangle their legs together. A sharp shiver runs through him, no doubt from the chill Ukyo brought with him. He smirks, just a little bit, like it’s a small victory.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They don’t speak. There’s nothing to be said after all that was. Ukyo has nothing to say. And he thinks that Hyoga isn’t one to say what he doesn’t mean. To take back something he’s said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So they’re at a stalemate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo can deal with that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And when he feels Hyoga’s lips press into the top of his hair, breath blowing through the strands as his whole body relaxes on an exhale, Ukyo thinks he might feel the same.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both sleep through the night. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>And after that, they start to manage everything better. Ukyo can sleep through some nights and the screaming night terrors die down until they’re more rare like before. It’s rough, but it’s something he can deal with, he thinks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s not sure what it was about their argument that did something for him, but he’s grateful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga still sleeps beside him every night. He seems to be doing better, too. Now that they can get through more than a few hours of sleep at a time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo would never admit to it, but even he’s noticed the way they both cling to each other a little tighter than before. There’s a frustration there, an anger. Something in Ukyo feels desperate at night when Hyoga’s pressing him into the bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s different from before. When it was about Ukyo, it was about holding him together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But after throwing words at each other the way they did, it’s obvious that something’s missing between them. Words, realizations. Ukyo can’t bring himself to dissect it all, so he just goes by feeling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he wants to hold Hyoga tighter, he does.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he wants to kiss him harder, he does.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he wants to bite down into his skin, leave marks under his mask, under his collar, where no one else can see… well it’s not like Hyoga doesn’t do the same. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even on nights when they don’t fuck, Ukyo finds himself seeking out Hyoga’s lips. Draped on top of the man so he can decide how far they go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Some nights he just wants to be there. Breathing Hyoga’s air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that… that’s different.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But then the ice is thawing and the Stone Wars are approaching. Ukyo knows the day will come that they’ll stand on opposite sides of a battlefield.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, he doesn’t think about it. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Things return to normal. Or to this new normal. Ukyo’s reinstated when he proves his eyes and ears are as sharp as they were before. When he’s pinning a fly to a tree from across the training yard, Tsukasa’s satisfied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then that’s that. Everyone forgets about Ukyo’s breakdown. If anything, the way he bounces back the way he does has them giving him a greater berth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or maybe that’s just everyone. With the weather warm enough to go back to personal fire pits and domiciles, the communal hall dwindles in population with everyone excited to have their own space back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the daylight, Ukyo and Hyoga do a good job keeping distance from each other as well. Hiding the way they fall deeper into each other every night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It strikes him one day, just for a moment, when he’s back from his rounds and back to one of his usual perches in the lattice work above the throne room. He’s listening in on the conversation the other two are having. He has no interest in some of their motives, and they’ve long since stopped trying to push him into it, as long as he stays neutral. As long as he stays loyal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks down at Hyoga. And Hyoga looks back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then Ukyo realizes that there’s no way this won’t hurt in the end. He starts to dread the impending day when he will betray them. It baffles him, that he’s having second thoughts, when all he’s wanted was to break the cycle of death Tsukasa and Hygoa led. He can’t figure out the way that dread settles like a rock in his gut the more time that passes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a few days of cold. One last cold snap piling snow on the ground in soft mounds. But it’s nothing threatening to any of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s when the day comes that Ukyo hears the crashing of stone from Senku’s gravesite ring across the grounds of the kingdom.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chrome is. Something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he, Gen, and the big guy give Ukyo a good run. Push him to use the skills he’d diligently kept through the winter. They push him to get crafty. If he doesn’t want to kill his would be allies, it exerts more energy to keep the upper hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a moment, when he’s ready, arrow poised and aimed to pierce between the big one’s eyes. He’s too violent, too powerful, to just let go if Ukyo can’t get a grip on the situation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But then the kid, the one with the headband, is flying a white flag and Ukyo jumps at the opportunity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Manipulating him comes easy, and maybe it isn’t all a lie when Ukyo lets his relief show for just a moment. His hands shake when he thinks of how close he was to nearly killing, </span>
  <em>
    <span>again. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he covers it up. It’s easy, he’s been doing it for months.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, when Hyoga’s dangling the poor sap over a waterfall, the lies roll off his tongue like silk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s no way Chrome doesn’t realize. But Hyoga is none the wiser.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>That night, the water is just warm enough to bathe freely. No more boiling water and scrubbing themselves down with hide cloth. Ukyo enjoys it. Enjoys the water, even if it’s chilled. He feels a little more refined for it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s just after sunset when Hyoga finds him. He strips down in a hurry when he sees Ukyo in the water, jumping in like he can’t wait to get clean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo can’t blame him. They’ve all been more active recently. The way it’s been so cold in the morning just to heat up under their furs by afternoon left more sweat on their skin than they’ve had to deal with in a while. He finds himself laughing when Hyoga’s head breaks the surface and he’s immediately shivering.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck, it’s cold,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he hisses, snagging Ukyo’s soap from where he’s got it up on the rocky ledge. He lathers himself up quickly. Glares when he sees the way Ukyo’s holding back a smile. “You think it’s funny?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you think it was going to be anything else?” he asks with a snort, already adjusted enough to the water that it feels warm enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga just glares at him, reaches over to grab at the back of his head and dunk him once.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo emerges with a gasp, coughs. “You dick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The other just shrugs, scrubs the soap through his hair and dunks himself again to rinse. “Serves you right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Watching as Hyoga climbs out already, snatching Ukyo’s towel off the ground to dry himself, Ukyo looks at the stretch of lean muscle and smooth skin up Hyoga’s body. There’s still red marks on his back. A bruise that Ukyo sucked into his hip last night. The one nasty bite mark on his neck still hasn’t faded fully, even after a few days. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It makes Ukyo wonder what he looks like. He saw a few bruises on his hips when he got in. But he knows his neck and chest must be a mess where he can’t see. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An idea occurs to him. “Hey,” he says, smiling up at Hyoga where he’s propping himself up on his folded arms at the river’s edge. Hyoga looks down at him, an eyebrow raised as he towels through his hair. “You should fuck me while we’re here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s motions falter, his eyes widen just the slightest. Okay, maybe Ukyo isn’t usually so blunt when they’re not in the moment. But it shouldn’t be </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>weird for him to say. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why? We have a perfectly good bed back home,” he asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo shrugs. “Old times sake? It was kinda hot back then, don’t you think?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His words make Hyoga smirk, just the slight curve of his lips. It would be soft if the light in his eyes didn’t give away the devious intent he had. “Then get out of there,” he waves at Ukyo to join him on dry ground, “I swear you’re way too comfortable in freezing situations for someone who makes </span>
  <em>
    <span>me </span>
  </em>
  <span>warm you up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo grins, pulls himself up out of the water. He takes the towel from Hyoga and dries himself off as he watches him layout his cloak on the ground, sitting his ass down in the middle with his arms over his knees.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks up at Ukyo who walks forward and drops into his lap, still toweling off his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga hisses at how cold his skin must feel. “See, you’re fucking freezing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Warm me up then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga curls his lip at him. “That’s all you want me for these days. A space heater now that technology is out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn,” Ukyo settles down comfortably, making him hiss for other reasons. “You’ve discovered my secret.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He huffs a laugh, smoothing Ukyo’s hair down where he’s messed it up with the damp hide. It’s going to be a right mess by the time they’re done, but at least he’s got his hat with him to hide it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Throwing the towel aside, he takes Hyoga’s face between both his hands and leans in to press their lips together. Feels Hyoga’s hands run up his sides to press into his rib cage, fingertips dragging as he smooths back down. The sensation makes Ukyo’s stomach flip in anticipation. He brushes his own hands back to tug in Hyoga’s hair, pulls at it gently, scratches lightly. Hears a soft pleased sound from Hyoga’s throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s… different. There’s something different. Ukyo can’t place what it is as he feels Hyoga’s hands press into his back, pulling him impossibly closer on his lap, their bodies flush together. His breath leaves in a huff through his nose when he feels Hyoga against him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They kiss slowly, deep. Open mouthed and Ukyo enjoys the taste of him. The way Hyoga feels against him. Savors it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the back of his mind, he realizes, he’s not sure how many chances he’ll have like this again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It pulls something vicious out of him, sinking in his chest, down into his stomach and settling ugly. His fingers shake and he suddenly feels… overwhelmed. Underwhelmed. At the same time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Squeezing his eyes shut hard he tugs at Hyoga’s hair to ground himself, accidentally separates them when he does. The breathy grunt Hyoga lets out at the feeling has him swallowing, forcing his eyes open to look the man in the eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s already there, looking at Ukyo, eyes searching the way he’s got his brow furrowed from the pain in his core.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why does it hurt so much? He knew this was coming. It was never that serious and he knew it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So… why?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo smooths Hyoga’s hair down at the back of his head, leans back enough to take his face between his hands again. Hyoga watches him, blinking slowly. Lazily. He looks so content in the moment and it’s a good look on him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Caressing his thumbs over the lines of his scars, one of Ukyo’s hands come up to trace the circles, the jagged lines that split his lips. Hyoga’s eyes close. His throat moves as he swallows hard. This isn’t something Ukyo’s done before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a strange, unspoken thing between them. They don’t talk about Hyoga’s scars. And usually, Ukyo would be kissing him as though they weren’t there. But… with the understanding that he may not have another chance, he realizes that he needs to do this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He angles Hyoga’s jaw with both of his hands, turns his head just slightly, so he can lean in and press his lips to his scars. Hyoga tenses in his hold, his fingertips digging into his skin as he kisses each ring. Moves his head himself so he can properly place his lips over each circle. Then he kisses the center of his bottom lip, his top. Pulls away just slightly to see his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s hands are shaking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo thinks he may have gone too far and wonders if he had any right to make the claim he just did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga wraps his arms around him tighter, buries his face in the crook of Ukyo’s neck and squeezes him. He sucks in a sharp breath and the exhale is shaky. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A part of him wishes he could see Hyoga’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But something tells him he has no right to that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So Ukyo just holds him tight, folds his arms around his neck to hold his head to scratch lightly through his hair, the other hand pressing into the skin of his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s so much. It’s too much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He needs this to end. He needs this to be just sex again. The way it usually is when they rush to get their hands on each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Hyoga goes lax against him on another breath, Ukyo takes the chance to push him backwards to lay on his cloak. He goes, leaning back easily with Ukyo’s hands on his chest. He looks down at the man beneath him. He’s gathered himself again, he looks fine. Nothing like how he seemed a moment ago.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo leans down, misses his lips to kiss at his neck. Sucks at his skin as he makes his way down. It isn’t often that Hyoga lets him stay in control for this long. So, he takes advantage of it. Kisses down his neck, sucks a mark below his collar bone, gets his teeth on one of his nipples and tugs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hygoa grunts, his hips bucking up under Ukyo and they both need a second after that one. Ukyo presses his forehead against Hyoga’s sternum, smooths his hands down his abs, feels every divot and contour under his fingers. Continues his way down to Hyoga’s hips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He picks a spot to mirror the older bruise on his left hip, sucks another mark to match, ignoring, for a moment, Hyoga’s hardening cock beside his face. Doesn’t look up when he finishes, tilts his head to the side to lick up the underside to the head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He focuses on every sound he gets from Hyoga as he mouths at him, digs his tongue in the slit and swallows him down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Holy fuck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo glances up at him as he bobs his head, lips stretched wide, relaxing his throat to take him in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s propped up on both elbows, neck red, the marks Ukyo’s made  on him stand out against his otherwise pale skin. He’s already breathing heavy. Lifts one hand to brush Ukyo’s hair out of his eyes and tangle in his hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo just closes his eyes, loses himself in what he’s doing. In the feeling of Hyoga’s fingers tugging on his hair, the weight of him on his tongue. Doesn’t look him in the eye, even if he wants to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He has every intention of finishing Hyoga like this. They have time. So he hollows his cheeks and sucks hard, moves faster and uses his hand to pump where his mouth can’t reach to keep the pace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sound of Hyoga falling back meets his ears, more cursing. The hand in his hair tugs but keeps him on his cock, doesn’t let him get off. Not that he wanted to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t take much longer before he feels Hyoga’s tells. He’s close. Abs flexing and hips rocking up into Ukyo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He decides to speed it up a little, gets the hand on Hyoga’s cock, wet from his spit, and moves it down, presses inside his hole with one finger easily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crooks it at just the right angle at the same time he swallows Hyoga down whole.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s hand grips so hard at his head as he holds him down, Ukyo winces. Feels the cock in his mouth twitch in his throat and he gags. It makes Hyoga curse more. He sees his stomach flexing before he squeezes his eyes shut against the way they tear up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finally feels Hyoga relax, he pushes up on his hips, forcing himself off Hyoga’s cock against the way he’s still being held down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit, sorry,” Hyoga mumbles, dropping his hand to the ground and letting Ukyo go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘S fine,” Ukyo croaks, clears his throat and coughs. He’s going to be feeling that move in the morning. Scratches at his own scalp where it still stings. His eyes are watering and his throat hurts but he’s fine. Hard as fuck. But fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beneath him, Hyoga looks like he needs a minute. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes are looking straight up at the night sky above them, chest still heaving with his breaths. His mouth is open a little bit, almost like wonder. Like he’s seeing something in those stars above them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo just smirks, crawls up to hover over him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You good?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga blinks at him, one hand coming to stroke up his thigh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘M great,” he breathes, “give me a second and I’m getting you back for that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m looking forward to it,”  Ukyo says, moving down to lay with his arms crossed over Hyoga’s chest so he can rest his chin. He clears his throat again, winces a little but it’s fine. “You still stash oil in your boots?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes him a second, but eventually Hyoga is nodding. He gets his elbows under him and pushes Ukyo up so he can lean over to where they are.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure enough, he’s got the little container they made for this purpose. Something small for when they inevitably find spare time through the day and can’t get back to their shared home. Maybe it’s a little ridiculous, Ukyo thinks, how impatient they can get but… he’s not about to complain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga drops it on the ground beside them, wraps his hands around Ukyo’s waist so he can sit up with him in his lap. Ukyo moves with him but lets himself be moved, arms around his shoulders when he’s tipped backwards and kissed hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can’t help it, he finds himself smiling against Hyoga’s lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s not sure what came over him but… he just feels good about where he is. Tugs his fingers again through the hair at the nape of Hyoga’s neck, drags his fingertips around until he’s holding his jaw again. Pulls away just so he can look at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They hold eye contact for a while, Ukyo’s eyes flicking between both of Hyoga’s. He thumbs, once again, at the scars around his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a different light in Hyoga’s gaze. A different intensity that he’s holding him down with. Blinking lazily with his hands stroking Ukyo’s sides. He still looks a little dazed from his climax, face relaxed. He’s got the slightest, barest hint of a smile as he looks back at Ukyo. For once, not flinching when Ukyo’s fingers brush his scar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo doesn’t think about it before the words slip past his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re beautiful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both freeze. Fingers stilling. Eyes widening, just a little. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something crumbles between them and Ukyo can’t tell if it’s terrible or not. What wall fell down. What broke. Or rather, what finally fell out of their way. There’s a frantic tension in how Hyoga’s eyes glance between his. How he presses his lips together and swallows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo wonders if he’s going to regret those words. But he means them. Almost questions what was holding him back from saying them this whole time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga doesn’t give him time to figure it out. He switches their positions in one easy movement, throwing Ukyo around until he’s landing flat on his back underneath him. He gasps as the air is knocked out of his lungs and he’s looking up at the sky above him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s face is no longer in his reach, too busy kissing down the line of his own scar, moving further and further down like he’s finally gotten impatient with it all. Like something’s snapped and whatever hazy reality they’d been in is gone. Back to the rushed, desperate way they usually fuck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It brings a bitter taste to Ukyo’s tongue. Or maybe it’s the cum. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t have long to contemplate it with Hyoga moving down to his hips, spreading his legs. He’s already got the oil on his fingers and he’s circling Ukyo’s rim with one hand as he throws his leg over his shoulder with the other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo makes himself relax as Hyoga preps him. Gasps at every harsh bite on the inside of his thighs. Hyoga is doing a number on marking his skin, sucking deep red marks up to his groin. There’s at least </span>
  <em>
    <span>one </span>
  </em>
  <span>with broken skin. Ukyo can fucking tell. There’s a little too much red on Hyoga’s lips and he thinks it would be a little ridiculous if he wasn’t into it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s still ridiculous.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But whatever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga gets to three fingers and Ukyo’s squirming under his ministrations. The other is hard again, </span>
  <em>
    <span>already. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And Ukyo’s a little bit in disbelief but he can’t complain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you seriously...?” Ukyo gapes at the erection standing against Hyoga’s stomach. “It’s been minutes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just gets a self satisfied smirk in response, and Hyoga’s settling on his knees, pulling his fingers out of Ukyo’s ass to slick himself up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Your old man body can’t keep up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo kicks his leg to smack his shin against Hyoga’s ear. “Asshole, if I’m an old man, you’ve got four years until you lose that refractory period.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga just huffs his low laugh, tugs Ukyo up into his lap so he can line himself up. “I’m not worried about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he’s pushing in with one smooth motion and Ukyo groans. His dick almost hurts from how neglected he’s been this whole time. Thinks he might be able to cum untouched at this rate. But he hasn’t done that since university. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s something off though, when Hyoga picks up his pace, fucking into Ukyo hard from the go. He’s got Ukyo’s leg over his shoulder, the other knee pressed up at his shoulder for leverage as he pumps into him. One hand tight enough on his hips Ukyo knows there will be more bruises there tomorrow. He bruises so easily, these days. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it’s strange. This time, it’s not the noise that keeps Ukyo from reaching his peak. It’s not the way he’s still untouched, despite the abused prostate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s the way Hyoga’s so far. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After months of cold winter and nights pressed close together at every possible point, this is… strange. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo can’t tell how he feels about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga changes his angle, aims straight for his prostate with every thrust, pulls rasping moans from Ukyo’s throat every time. His back arches up, exposing his neck. It all feels off, and he needs this as he feels his climax building. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please,” he gasps, managing to open his eyes just enough to see him, “Hyoga.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moves so fast to wrap his hand around Ukyo’s neck in response, Ukyo gasps, heart pounding, hands scrambling to find purchase on his wrist as he constricts around his throat. He can still suck in harsh breaths, but the grip is strong, rough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo cums hard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shakes through it. Keeps his hands on Hyoga’s arms so he can’t move away as he finishes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Hyoga hasn’t cum yet. He already came once that night, it’ll take a little longer for him now. And Ukyo’s already starting to feel the tinges of overstimulation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Hyoga moves to pull out though, Ukyo panics. Can’t imagine it ending with Hyoga’s cum on his stomach when he’s been so far away for so long. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turns his leg to stop him from moving. Keeps a hard grip on his wrist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you stop now, I’ll kill you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It makes Hyoga falter just a little. There’s no real threat to his words, they both know that, but he’s laughing anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He does as Ukyo says, grabs him by the hips with both hands and picks up his pace again to drive into Ukyo’s body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s rough, even as Ukyo goes soft. But with the way he’s shifted he can wrap both legs around Hyoga’s waist, showing that he wants this even as the overstimulation builds up tears that spill over, running into his hairline. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lets it happen. Truly enjoys it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wonders, for just a moment, if this is how Hyoga would fuck him if he knew that he betrayed him that day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That he’ll betray him again when they're done.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga finally finishes, stilling fully seated inside him. Gasping as he cums before collapsing on top of Ukyo. He buries his face in Ukyo’s neck, breathing hard. They both are. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo looks up at the sky above him. At all the stars he’d never have seen in his whole life had he not been petrified. Feels the warmth of the man on top of him, inside him. Waits as his body stops shaking and he can catch his breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga moves then, lips marking a trail of kisses up his neck. He moves up, along his jaw, until he’s kissing at the tear tracks running down Ukyo’s cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo squeezes his eyes shut. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Trust me I want to yell at myself, too</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Fuck you, Saionji.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't need to tell you what happens in stone wars, right? Sorry if this is jumpy for that.</p><p>Also, yes, I have issue with the linguistic technicalities of the stone world so I tried to explain it a little where it makes sense. Language progression is a thing and they should *not* be able to understand each other, but I digress. </p><p> </p><p>TW: canonical violence, injury, blood, mentions of sex, dissociation (derealization), vulgar language (use of the word c**t),</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>On his way back in that night, he tells Hyoga he wants to check on the prisoner one last time before bed. To make sure he can’t hear anything that suggests a rescue team nearby. Hyoga doesn’t fight him, pulls him in before he can leave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And presses his lips to Ukyo’s forehead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes a lot for Ukyo to hide his shock. To hide the way his gut swoops. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With nerves, guilt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pushes all of that out of his mind, smiles up at the man, and leaves to find the primitive battery he’d stashed for this. No one suspects a thing when he sneaks near the prison cell. None of the guards manage to hear him as he slips past them, dropping the battery inside the bars for Chrome to find, and disappearing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lays awake in Hyoga’s arms that night for a while before he finally falls asleep.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Digging up English from the depths of his conscious mind goes easier than he expected on short notice. He’s glad for how much the military drilled him on the second language when they realized he had a knack for acquiring it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Using technology after so long is like a culture shock. But there’s something refreshing about hearing a voice over radio waves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It brings him back. Makes him feel like the person he used to be. Back to the days of listening to sonar and picking through rubble, guiding his team to find survivors in disaster. The passion he used to have for it. The way it gave him purpose. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he speaks to Senku for the first time, Ukyo knows he’s made the right decision. Even if it hurts, just like he thought it would.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But there would be no death, the kid promised. And Ukyo is inclined to believe him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feeling like himself for the first time in millennia, Ukyo breathes in relief. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’ll deal with the consequences when they come.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>He plays his part at the siege for the Cave of Miracles. The look on his men’s faces when they realize he’s crossed sides is… more satisfying than it has any right to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In mere seconds, Senku and his group have the upper hand. Ukyo thinks it’s absolutely insane. And seeing a </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking tank of all things</span>
  </em>
  <span> has him sweating under the collar in disbelief. But regardless, it all works out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or so he thinks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo has to admit, he never prepared for the possibility that Hyoga might actually hurt him. It had always been there. A truth in the back of his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But before then, the reality never quite hit him quite like the tip of a spear.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sitting on the ground, bandages around his chest and waist. Ukyo knows. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows. </span>
  </em>
  <span>That he should be dead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A direct blow from Hyoga would have taken out Tsukasa even, Ukyo thinks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The fact that he was able to pick himself up and join the dynamite team, stand there, pull his bow string -- which had fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt, thank you very much</span>
  </em>
  <span> -- and let Nikki patch him up in the end didn’t get past him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The wound is wide, but it isn’t deep. The spear head had gouged out a chunk of flesh, but it was survivable. Controlled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga hadn’t aimed to kill.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And when Tsukasa offers his hand to stand up, Ukyo can’t help but think it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking awkward.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not surprised you did it, Ukyo,” he says, his hand out as he sits on the ground. “You never agreed with us. It’s no wonder you took the opportunity Senku presented to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo looks at the rough palm extended to him. He thinks it’s some kind of joke at first but he knows that Tsukasa isn’t the type. He accepts the offer, standing up and wincing when it pulls at his side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was convincing,” he says to them, mostly just to speak. His tunic is shredded, so he’s stuck shirtless in his bandages until Yuzuriha can patch it up. He folds one arm across his chest, holding the wound, the other arm hurts too much to lift. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Tsukasa sighs. He looks over his shoulder and Ukyo follows his gaze. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga is watching them. He’s unreadable. If Ukyo didn’t know better, he’d think he was completely apathetic. Tsukasa watches them in their silent stare off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I ask one thing?” Minami voices, plucking something that most have gotten stuck in his feathers. She’s standing close, acting friendly like they hadn’t been temporary enemies when he shot the arrow in her path just moments ago. “How long?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knows she’s up to something. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How long have you planned to side with Senku?” she clarifies, “You think everything through, Ukyo, you wouldn’t have just… agreed, in the moment.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo keeps his eyes on where the Kingdom of Science power team is deconstructing the ruined parts of their vehicle. He doesn’t look at any of them. Can’t bring himself to admit to it, can’t bring himself to confirm or deny what she’s saying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hears Hyoga walk away.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo stays with Senku’s camp that night. And the nights after that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s unspoken, but he knows that he can’t go home. He has no place in that room with Hyoga anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The gash in his side spoke enough for it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The suddenness of the change is strange. None of it feels quite real. Or maybe it’s him that's fake. Either way, the moment is hard to exist in. The material of the tent is better made. He's sitting in a well made chair. He had freeze dried ramen for dinner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Life around him feels like he's experiencing it through a filter. Like he can't quite make sense of how it all connects together. Just two days ago, he was stoking a fire in a cave and living off of salted meat for months. The shift makes him think of the old wax museums he would go to on school field trips, nearly four thousand years ago. How everything looked real, like it could be used or eaten. But the shine to the food was strange. The firelight a program. False, at the heart of it all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s unwrapping the bandages with Kohaku’s help. She says that Gen’s on his way with more of the balm Senku made back when Magma attacked him. He’d bring it soon. For now, she evaluates the damage in the lamp light. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The slightest upgrades in technology feel like night and day. Like the last seven months were all just a nightmare. Or maybe it's this waxy world he's stepped into that's just an illusion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve seen worse,” she tells him honestly, getting in his space and lifting his arm herself when he can’t. He winces. She’s rough around the edges, pretty, and Ukyo thinks she’s definitely the type to give Hyoga a run for his money. “He got you good, but this is nothing compared to what I’d expect from that guy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her Japanese is different. The words are mostly the same, but the inflections and grammar is off. The sounds remind him of the easy way people used to speak when they dropped out of high school. Like proper grammar was too laborious to bother with. Ukyo vaguely remembers in the military run linguistics courses, learning about how language progression works. How obsolete grammar drops over time. No longer needed when there are clearer options.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t use a single honorific either. It makes her sound rude, but he knows better. Thanks to his language education once again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Our dear Hyoga would never dare try to kill you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both look to the opening to their tent where Gen is coming inside, a tray of balms and ointments in his hands. He can smell the tang of it from there. “Isn’t that right, Ukyo-chan?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” Kohaku turns to him, an eyebrow raised. “He sure as hell looked like he was ready to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Ukyo swallows. Looks down at the jagged slash. It would definitely scar, but they’re all right that it’s just a surface wound. “If he wanted me dead back there, I wouldn’t be here right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gen sets the tray down to start preparing to clean his wounds. “Kohaku dear, I think you may know how to treat a spear wound better than I would,” he admits, gesturing with chagrin at the materials. “Would you mind showing me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She makes a face but moves without a fight. “You said this clear alcohol cleans right? Start with that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lets them work, knows that if he tries to do it, he might pull on the already messy tear in his flesh. Leaves his arm resting over his head where he sits. Only winces a little at the sting of alcohol. Hisses when they put too much pressure. But otherwise he’s fine. Even if the waxy world he's in seems to turn to plastic when they tell him the white powder he has to swallow is <em>antibiotics. </em></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s with all the bruises though?” She asks. Ukyo feels his ears heat like someone smacked him in the head with a hot iron. “Are these… bite marks?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t make eye contact. Hears Gen chuckling under his breath and wants to bury himself six feet under before he’d tell a teenager that he got all the extraneous wounds from rough sex with her enemy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They do look like that, don’t they?” Gen chimes, “Like I said, Hyoga would never dare try to kill our dear Ukyo-chan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kohaku leans back, looks between the two of them like she’s scandalized and angry about it. “Oh, gross,” she scowls, there’s a blush on her cheeks. “I didn’t need to know that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You asked,” Ukyo mutters under his breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what then?” She pokes at the raw skin on his ribs while Gen starts to apply the paste Senku made. “Is this like a bad break up or something? Is that why you’re here tonight?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo grinds his teeth. “We weren’t like that, but yes,” He exhales through his nose. “That and more advanced medicine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fair.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>He recoverss fairly well over the next few days while they excavate for Mirai’s statue. Ukyo avoids Hyoga at all costs. The few times they have to speak in the daylight, they keep it terse. Professional. It’s just business. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Hyoga betrays Tsukasa, Ukyo can’t say it’s a surprise. He deduces Homura’s involvement easily and they get her pinned down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a bitter reunion for them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a piece of shit Ukyo,” she snaps, not resisting as Kohaku ties her hands behind her back, keeps her down by sitting on her hips. “God, bitch, I’m not going anywhere you can get off me now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah.” Kohaku looks way too pleased with herself in Ukyo’s opinion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought we were friends,” Homura keeps on, not letting him back down even when he’s called to help with things on the battlefield. “We actually gave a shit about you, you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right,” he folds his arms, looks down at where she’s glaring up at him. Her eyes look red, watery. He imagines this is a lot for her. “From what you showed tonight, it looks more like you two only care about yourselves.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sneers at him as Kohaku pulls her up to sit on her knees. “No, that’s you, you bastard. You oblivious cunt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukyo!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leaves them where they are. Homura’s words ring in his head but he pointedly ignores them. Doesn’t let them sink in just yet where they try to dig at his figurative wounds. His waist hurts, he’s pretty sure he reopened the wound when they chased her down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ignores that too. For now, someone needs to get Hyoga tied up before he can get his wits about him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But from what Senku said, Ukyo doesn’t think the man would be able to pick any fights for a while.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Regardless, he admits it makes the most sense for him to do it. Even if he can feel himself detaching in the moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grabs a length of rope from where they’d piled it in preparation in case Hyoga survived. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That had been a strange thing to hear. The thought that Hyoga may not have survived the shock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now that he thinks about it, he realizes no one’s confirmed yet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels his steps falter and his eyes widen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Is he walking now, to find Hyoga dead where he lies on that battlefield?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walks faster, dread building and bubbling into nausea as he gets closer. But he needs to know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On his way there he nearly trips on something, only to look down and see the black fabric of Hyoga’s cloak. Great, so he was half naked then, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he steps up to the still figure on the ground, Hyoga looks like a mess. Senku did one hell of a number on him from the looks of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he can hear the way Hyoga’s heartbeat thumps in his chest. The short, labored breaths he puffs out of his lungs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Relief washes through Ukyo and he falls to his haunches, barely recovering in time to compose himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re alive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga groans, rolls his head to the side to look at him, it seems like it hurts him. He blinks, squints, grimaces at who he sees. “Fuck, it’s you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Ukyo sighs. “I know. Come on.” He grabs at Hyoga’s wrist, tugs him until he’s sitting upright. The man only grunts in pain, his muscles must be sore from the spasms of electrocution. Ukyo remembers getting tazed when he was getting certified in different weapons. It hadn’t been a pleasant experience, and he can only imagine how bad this was for Hyoga.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the man is sitting up right, just barely, Ukyo throws his cloak over his shoulders, fastens it around his neck the way he knows how to. They way he’s helped Hyoga to dress on lazy mornings when he’d been feeling affectionate. This time is anything but.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s still cursing under his breath. Quite frankly, he sounds drunk. Like he’s not even sure what he’s saying. Ukyo just lets it all go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You never answered Minami,” Hyoga grunts at him. He doesn’t resist and Ukyo straightens out the rope and starts his job tying it around his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” Ukyo hums, it’s easier than he thought, to keep his surprise at Hyoga’s curiosity off of his face. He can barely feel his skin, he’s so outside of himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How long?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sure you want to know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo pauses, checks his job so far to keep his hands busy. Hyoga’s staring him hard in the face and it takes everything not to return it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He licks his lips where he’s hiding his face in his collar.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Since summer. I overheard Taiju and Yuzuriha say Senku was alive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s eyes are empty where they search his face, roam away from Ukyo to their surroundings, like he can’t figure out where he is for a moment. “Summer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” He tightens the rope and continues the process. Laments how long it’s taking him. He can see the emotions in Hyoga's eyes but he can't handle the way it makes his gut wrench. Makes him want to say things he can't. Things he doesn't mean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, Hyoga is silent as Ukyo keeps up the job. At the end, he secures the knot, pulls tight, and it jostles Hyoga. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit,” Hyoga laughs, his shoulders shaking in silent huffs. Ukyo can’t see his face from where he’s standing, now. The others have come to help move Tsukasa off the battlefield. Senku looks worse for wear but he’s there. “Didn’t know you were into bondage, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Ukyo checks the knots one last time before urging him to his feet to join the rest. “Shut up, Hyoga.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Choking, rope play,” Hyoga laughs. It’s rueful. The sound makes Ukyo’s stomach turn. He’s glad he can barely feel his body in that moment or it would be worse. At his words, a few people glance their way. “What else are you into, Ukyo? We could have been doing a lot more all this time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stays silent, keeps a firm hold on the lead for Hyoga’s bindings while Nikki takes Homura, walking them both towards the prison cells. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo wishes he’d be quiet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the most part he is. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you, Saionji.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. I used to love a man in uniform</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I cannot describe how excited I've been to write this chapter. It wasn't what I expected. But I'm still happy about it.<br/>We're finally entering the next arc of the story!!! I probably won't be posting any more chapter dumps for a while (I think at least). Cause I'll be working on my other fic some more now that I've finally gotten through the first arc of this one. </p><p>TW: mentions of sex, the word c**t is here again, nightmares. This one is pretty tame compared to the last few</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’s not until after Tsukasa’s been frozen, when everyone’s settled in to mourn in their own way, that it hits Ukyo just what he’s lost. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kohaku tells him it’s his turn to bring food to the two in prison. She offers him a placating grimace of a smile. He thinks she’d be better off not trying to offer any condolences as she hands him the two bowls of ramen. He’s avoided the duty for a few days now, but only the fighters and none of Tsukasa's men can be trusted to go in there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he takes the food, looks at the curls of green noodles in the broth. Accepts his fate and makes his way down to where the prison cells are kept.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cave is quiet this time of day. And usually. Even when his rounds bring him past, Ukyo hardly hears more than the two inside murmuring to each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s been a few times he’s heard Homura crying. Hyoga’s voice soothing her from across the distance between their cells. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Today they’re all but silent. Hyoga’s standing, pacing on the inside with his arms folded, studying the dips and grooves of the cave he’s in. Homura’s in a split, leaned forward and propping her head on her hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can’t imagine their boredom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dinner time,” Ukyo calls out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both turn to him in unison and he feels his neck heat in shame. Yeah, this was awkward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Disgusting.” Homura huffs, all but ignoring him as he undoes the latch and slides her bowl inside. Even when the food is on her side, she doesn’t move, still staring straight forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, it’s the cold shoulder from her. Right. Better than getting called a cunt again. He can’t tell what she’s calling disgusting, the food or him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He then turns to the other prison cell, making direct eyecontact with Hyoga. His gut swoops and he can’t even imagine what it would be this time. Guilt? Attraction? Frustration?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a little niggling voice in the back of his head reminding him how much it sucks to sleep alone these nights. But Ukyo ignores that. He’s been purposely ignoring that issue during the daylight hours.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s leaning against the bars of the cage, arms still folded, so that when Ukyo has to crouch down to slide the food inside the hatch door at the bottom, he’s looming over him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Been a while since I’ve had this view.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo feels his ears heat, bites the inside of his lip before looking up. “It’s been a week and a half.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s been longer since you last sucked my--.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyoga, please,” Homura interrupts him, she hasn’t moved from her position and yet she says, “I’m trying to eat, don’t make me vomit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeah, he needs to leave. This was a mistake. He knows that it’s his turn to take this job, someone has to feed them, but it was a mistake. Next time he should bribe Kohaku with something. He’s not sure what she’d bite for, but he was going to find out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Standing up, he winces, automatically grabbing at the still healing wound. It’s going well, but it’s an ugly, sore thing at this point and everything aggravates it still.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The reaction doesn’t get past either of them and he watches as Hyoga lifts an eyebrow curiously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo swallows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something wrong, Ukyo-kun?” He asks, false concern laid on thick. “Did you get injured?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo glares at him. “Nah, just a prick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Homura snorts behind him. Ukyo smirks, just a little, and hides it in his collar as he walks away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, that’s kind of funny.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whose side are you on, Homura?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And when he’s outside the cave, turned around the corner and making his way back, he hears them still talking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, I can’t believe you fucked that loser.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know he can still hear us right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s the point, Hyoga-sama.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The nightmares he’s had since the night he betrayed them are… hell. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re not much different, Ukyo thinks, but his subconscious mind knows exactly how to fuck him up the most. He still fires the arrow. And every time, it hits its target. Usually it’s the same scene he’s seen a hundred times now. Sometimes it’s the horticulturist. That’s all the same.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>But now, when he hears the sound of skull on stone, when the whispers start,</span> <span>now… now it’s always the same voice that says it. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The same voice that’s told him to breathe, to relax. The voice that’s held him down in the hardest times and brought him back to the present. It’s now this voice that whispers in his ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Murderer.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Senku wants to build a boat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo thinks the kid’s a bit out of his mind but at this point he realizes that if anyone can do it, it’s him. In fact, when he shows off his designs and the building starts… Ukyo has to admit that it all looks like it could work. It looks sound, and even if he’s not an expert, he’s spent enough time on a vessel to see that it’s got everything in the right place. The physics are right. They just need someone to sail it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then Senku brings back Nanami Ryusui, and Ukyo thinks the kid has actually lost it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo’s overseeing construction when the scouting group comes back from wherever Minami guided them. He’s tired. He hasn’t been this tired since the winter. Sleeping alone and recovering from his nightmares for weeks has him feeling weak. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s supposed to be keeping an eye on things, with Senku gone and Kaseki on the ground someone needs to watch and make sure nothing goes wrong. He thinks one of the villagers would be just fine at it, but since they’re all better put to use working on actual construction, it makes the most sense for him to be overseer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And frankly, he’s too tired to be of much use for anything else anyways. He’s in the watch tower they built on the side of the construction sight, straddling the back of a chair. Even just this much improvement in infrastructure is a contrast to what he’d been living with until then. Tsukasa’s empire hadn’t even been annexed into the Kingdom of Science for a full month and the engineering of everything had already modernized so significantly, Ukyo felt like he’d witnessed hundreds of years of progress in a matter of weeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Propping his head up with his hand, Ukyo lean against the railing of the watchtower, struggling to keep his eyes open. He’s wondering how much shit he’d be in if he let himself snooze for just a moment...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys aren’t bad! I’ll take it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The new voice shouting over the constant sounds of construction from just below has Ukyo jumping out of his skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The chair crashes to the ground and Ukyo cringes, hands over his ears from the sudden sensory overload. Construction had been bad enough, but it was consistent and after the first hour, had turned into a white noise to Ukyo’s pounding headache. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s too tired for this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leaning down to right the chair has him tugging on his side. It’s been weeks, and it’s healing well enough that he should be able to get back to training soon. But the bruising still hurts and the scabs still tug on the edges of the old wound, trying to keep his skin closed. The lack of sleep doesn’t help either, and he drops the chair again. It hits the floor with a bang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” he curses, crouching down to hold his head in his hands. Just for a moment where no one can see him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>so fucking tired. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He needs a solution. And he needs one soon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If sleeping alone makes the nightmares this bad, then maybe Ukyo just had to find someone to help warm his bed at night. Something more casual this time. He had no desire to end up in another… situation again. It was too soon. Even if he and Hyoga hadn’t been that serious, it all still stung.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or maybe that was just the spear wound.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A maelstrom is coming!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huh?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo spreads his fingers until he can see through them where he’s crouching. Blinks. There was that new voice again. It must be the captain they found per Minami’s recommendation, but did they really have to bring back someone </span>
  <em>
    <span>so loud? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feeling a little less overwhelmed, he stands, brings the chair with him and sets it upright. He looks down at the construction field, searching for Senku and finds him easily enough. Next to him is a whole new figure. A man, taller than Senku, dressed in red with the captain’s hat Yuzuriha made on his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moves in grand gestures, everything done with a flourish as he directs the whole construction crew to start covering the wood for the ship. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A storm…?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo looks over the horizon, searching, he can’t see anything yet, but the watch tower isn’t too high so maybe it’s out of his view. It makes sense for someone with experience to recognize weather patterns but… isn’t this a little extreme? They have no instruments to go by and the skies are clear above them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukyo! Come help!” Nikki calls to him, she’s waving from the bottom of the ladder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He must be more dazed than he realized because he nearly falls down the last few rungs if not for Nikki noticing in time and keeping him stable by the back of his tunic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” he grunts, settling down on both feet and joining her towards the sight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” She asks, soundings genuine in her concern. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he rubs at the corner of his eye and tugs the brim of his hat to keep out the sunlight. If it hides the dark rings under his eyes that’s just a bonus. “Just tired.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She takes a moment to respond. “That’s right, you don’t sleep well do you? That’s been going on for a while right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nods, and it’s weird, thinking how he no longer has any kind of authority here. It doesn’t matter anymore if she knew things that would have caused issues in Tsukasa’s empire. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe that’s all he needs. Friends. People to talk to outside the people who used to be considered equal to his rank. He wonders if they’d even want to be his friend after everything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, for a while,” he sniffs. “Was it that obvious?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm,” she shrugs, grabbing the corner of a tarp where Kohaku is trying to stretch it over a stack of lumber. He grabs a side and helps them. “I wouldn’t say it was obvious but, you always looked tired. Then there was that one time in the winter…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened in the winter?” Kohaku asks, the three of them moving to the next stack. It’s bigger and a few people are already working on getting the tarp over it. Kohaku climbs to the top and they start to pass her the edge for her to drop down the other side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A lot happened,” Nikki says, “Surprisingly. It was dull for the most part.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo can’t help it, he snorts. He supposes it would have been uneventful for the most of them. But for Ukyo, there was so much that happened over winter, ‘dull’ was the last word he would use.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was dull for the rest of us at least,” Nikki says, giving Ukyo a teasing shove. It just about sends him flying into the lumber. “Oops, sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He waves it off. “So… this new guy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nanami Ryusui,” she says, “Minami didn’t want us to revive him but--.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Senku did it anyways,” Kohaku finishes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They tie off the bottom of the tarp and move on. Most of the construction crew has done a good job with it so far. Just the bigger stacks left, so all three of them move over to help. He can hear different groups shouting orders at each other to tie this down, cover that up. More people questioning why they’re doing this if the sky is clear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then Ukyo hears it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sound of rough winds and rain crashing through the trees hits his ears and he looks up, moves around. The skies are clear, just a few clouds. Blue. But.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The eastern horizon has darkened to an ominous grey, storm clouds fast approaching. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A gust of wind, stronger than the rest they’ve felt that day nearly takes off his hat. He catches it just in time, looking at the oncoming storm in wonder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This guy really just predicted a storm without any equipment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everyone inside the tents!” Kohaku calls to the whole grounds. Her voice manages to carry well over the winds and Ukyo winces when she shouts in his ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Careful, Kohaku,” Nikki reminds her as Ukyo rubs at his temple. His head is pounding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oops, sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They crowd inside the main tent where they expect Senku to join them soon, Chrome’s already there with Gen, and moments later the rain comes down hard. Wind threatens to upend the tents but it holds. Gen lights a lantern as they all settle in to ride out the storm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo tucks himself into one corner of the tent, folds his arms and crosses his legs to slump against a chest of things they brought with them. Mostly just spare paper and charcoal pencils. Extra oil for the lanterns. There’s a few spare bedrolls and he’s tempted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But then Senku and the new guy, Ryusui are joining them a few minutes later, mid conversation, voices loud, and Ukyo realizes he will have no peace during this storm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nikki sits on top of the chest and pats him sympathetically on the head as he grumbles. Chrome and Gen have joined them in the yelling. Shouting. He wonders why they have to speak so loudly if they’re all in such a small space together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re talking about finding oil now. Ukyo stares at the underside of his hat. Really, he should just resign himself to always being exhausted whenever Senku’s around. Especially now with this new guy, who’s loud and enthusiastic about everything, is around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>"This guy is the real deal, huh?' Nikki murmurs to him, he tilts his head to look up at her where she's watching the conversation. "He really predicted that storm was coming..."</p><p> </p><p>Ukyo swallows. Yeah, that detail didn't get past him either. And he knows that Nikki's thinking the same thing. "Yeah. He did."</p><p> </p><p>"Imagine if we had that skill a few months ago."</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukyo!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He jumps, yanked out of the musings Nikki's words nearly pulled him into and looks up at Senku. He’s grinning wildly. Chrome’s beside him, looking like he’s ready to vibrate out of his skin. They’re all huddled together, excited about something. “You’ll go with them right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leans forward to get a better look at them. “Hm? I wasn’t paying attention,” he tells them, rubs at the corner of his eye as he stretches his arms out over the tops of his knees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re going to look for oil!” Chrome shouts and Ukyo winces. “Oh, sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be going to,” Kohaku tells him, “If you join, then with my eyes and Chrome’s experience, we should be able to find whatever it is we’re looking for.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They need someone who can recognize oil, too,” Senku says. “I’ve got a map back at the main location, I can give you an idea of where to look for it. But your ears will make it easier to navigate the wild.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right, it makes sense. Maybe having a mission to throw himself into would help him feel better. Something to get tired over during the days so he’s too exhausted to even dream at night… it’s how he used to manage it, at least. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The new guy, Ryusui, is looking at him. Grinning wide, teeth sharp, and eyes taking Ukyo in now that he’s made himself known in the space. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You got good ears, kid?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nikki holds back a laugh and Gen outwardly looks like he’s feeling the second hand embarrassment when Ukyo raises an eyebrow at the guy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m older than you.” He doesn’t even have to check to know that much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ryusui raises an eyebrow back, his eyes move over Ukyo’s body once. Quick. His smile gets wider. “You think so?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukyo was a radar technician in the navy in the old world,” Gen explains, offers Ukyo a sympathetic look. He's been different these days, since the facade is no longer necessary, and Ukyo thinks he likes this more authentic Gen. “I assure you, he’s the oldest one in this room.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, our very own sonar guy!” Senku grins like he’s got an idea that Ukyo will hear about eventually. Until then, he won’t ask. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wonderful!” Ryusui says in response to them, shoots Ukyo a salacious wink. “I used to love a man in uniform.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeah. Ukyo’s already tired of this guy. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I fucking. Love. Ryusui.</p><p>Y'all ready for more slow burn?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. The most confident wink Ukyo's ever seen in his life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello. I'm hungover. Excuse me if the TW list isnt extensive enough, feel free to let me knnow if I missed anything</p><p>TW for the chapter: implied PTSD, nightmares, mentions of sex, capitalism, talks of food insecurity, talks of natural disaster</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Being a part of the exploration team with Kohaku and Chrome isn’t too bad. The kid is loud, but not unpleasant. And Kohaku is… comforting. Ukyo doesn’t know how else to explain it, but she is. She’s a constant, sturdy presence by their side, keeping up and making sure Chrome doesn’t get hurt, even if he’s generally sure footed. She keeps her voice low after she noticed the way Ukyo winced in the beginning with Chrome’s loudness. Even gently prompting him to lower his tone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s observant for more than just her eyesight. Simple, in a lot of ways, but intelligent in others.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s also seen her take down a mountain lion. Something he hasn’t seen someone do since Tsukasa. And he’s just honestly glad he picked the right team to side with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chrome is Chrome. Ukyo thinks the kid is fun and his boundless energy and high spirits is like nothing he thought he’d encounter again in the Stone World. He reminds Ukyo that he used to be an optimist in the old days. It kind of makes him miss that part of himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The exertion during the day and being pushed to use his skills outside of combat and defense is refreshing. Even as they trek through the wilderness Chrome knows in silence, Ukyo’s mind doesn’t wander too far. At first, he was a little worried he would feel like a supervisor on a highschool field trip, but it doesn’t take long before he realizes how these two have already become recognized as adults in their village culture. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Things go smoothly. Ukyo doesn’t even have nightmares.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until they’re on their way back to Ishigami Village one night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wakes with a start, sitting up fast in a gasp. It startles Kohaku who took the second watch shift, her blade is in her hands in a moment but otherwise doesn’t move. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sucking in breaths of air, Ukyo rubs his hands down his face, hears her shush a stirring Chrome who promptly starts snoring softly again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s got his head in his hands when he hears her speak, “You okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he sniffs, rubbing at the corner of his eye. There’s no tears this time. He didn’t scream. It could be more dramatic but it’s not. “Bad dream.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that why you always look tired?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turns his head without lifting it, sees that she’s looking without judgment. It’s just a question to her. Nothing like the side-eyes scorn that comes with clear concern for mental health which he often gets from the revived group.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nods. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I get those sometimes,” she says, “Stuff that happened, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he croaks. Clears his throat, twists to find his pack and pulls out his bottle of water. They boiled some fresh to refill their stock that day, so he's liberal with the sips he takes. Practically chugs it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wanna talk about it?” She asks, re-sheathing her knife and fiddling with the leather. “It helped me back when things got better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thinks about it. Isn’t sure if he wants to confide in a kid his emotional instability. “What happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve nearly seen my sister die more times than I can count.” Her fingers pick at the seams of the leather, pulling stray fibers off the fraying edges. “She’s better now, thanks to Senku. He called it.. New… new-moan..” she trails off thinking of the name.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pneumonia?” Ukyo offers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, yeah,” Ukyo nods, pulling his knees up to wrap his arms around, grabbing one wrist with the other hand to keep balance. “Some people still died from it back then. I can imagine how bad it would be these days.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kohaku shrugs. “But he made antibiotics, and she recovered okay,” she says and Ukyo finally makes sense of the drugs they gave him that night, “So if I wake her up from the nightmares, she talks me through it. It helps to have the reminder she’s okay now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You had someone to bring you back. That’s good.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, do you have someone like that?” She asks, genuine in her curiosity. He checks off compassion on the list of Kohaku traits he’s learning lie under her steely exterior. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He considers her question. The answer is obvious, at least, to him it is. He wonders how much he should tell her. But the way she’s looking at him is so… unbothered. She’s concerned but it’s clearly just another conversation to her. Something she relates to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did, until recently,” he admits. Something sour curls in his gut. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She raises her eyebrows, catching on easily. “Hyoga?” He nods. “I can’t imagine him being very comforting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes all of a moment for it to process how wrong she is. The awareness immediate. “He was,” Ukyo tells her honestly, “He got me through the worst of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels his breath shake on the next exhale. A whole new anxiety swirling in his stomach. Admitting, and recalling, that Hyoga had done so much for him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>now, </span>
  </em>
  <span>is hitting Ukyo like an icy hand on the back of his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kohaku’s watching him carefully, leaning where she sits to see where he’s got his face turned away. “You’re not dealing with this well, are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blinks and it feels sluggish. He tries to respond, but it feels like it takes an eternity for his words to reach his lips. “I’m not really dealing with it at all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That can’t be a good thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shrugs. “What else is there?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shrugging like it’s obvious, she says. “Talk to people?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if you noticed, but I don’t really have friends.” He picks at the leather and fur around his wrists. Accidentally dislodges more than he planned. “There was a clear hierarchy before. Now I don’t really know where I stand with anyone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She purses her lips in thought, and he can tell she’s really thinking about what he says. He’s heard the way she tunes out Senku’s explanations and science tirades, so it’s a noted difference the way she’s investing in this conversation now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s like she values the human side of things. And whatever it takes to protect them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thinks that if Hyoga hadn’t betrayed them, Ukyo would be curious how these two got along. Would he hold her in respect like he does Homura, as a woman who works efficiently and effectively? Or would their conflict in motivation ultimately drive a wedge between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He supposes he’ll never know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you just need a fresh start. Someone who didn’t have to see that side of you,” she suggests after a while.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He raises a brow at her. “And where am I going to find someone like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about the new guy?” She asks, and Ukyo feels himself frown, “Ryusui— what’s with that look?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>loud.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He tells her emphatically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So?” She holds her hands out, blade still in one hand, “tell him to shut up sometimes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo has no intention of trying to get friendly with the capitalist. But he’s not in the mindset to explain the nuances of old world economics and ethics. He doesn’t have the stomach to go into details of wage gaps and the hardship that came from a money hungry upper class. It’s something he’ll leave to the others to explain to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For now he just shrugs. “I’ll think about it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a lie.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whether he wanted to think about it or not, Ukyo soon is hit with the new reality that Ryusui’s capitalistic ways have already perverted the Stone World.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They touch down in Ishigami Village from a hot air balloon. Ryusui’s whooping with jovial laughter, his wide, charming smile already catching the attention of most the village.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Within the hour, he learns that not only has Ryusui reinvented money, but he’s reinvented capitalism.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo, when he hears about this, crouches down and puts his head in his hands. Senku is already talking about financial power struggles. Ryusui is talking about claiming all the world’s resources for himself. It’s a mess.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For once, Ukyo suddenly understands where Tsukasa came from with his communist ideology. Thinks that if it weren’t for the whole crushing statues and taking lives thing, he’d much rather have his leadership than whatever the hell Ryusui is doing to their newly budding society. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s the matter with you, Ukyo?” Senku says with one of his raised eyebrow appraisals, looking at his crisis with evident obliviousness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beside him, is Ryusui, standing with his arms crossed and ogling the village girls who are waving at him from across the residential lot. He can just see the way his eyebrows arch and his smile turns sharp, making them giggle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo looks up at him, glares through his fingers. “You let this guy </span>
  <em>
    <span>reinvent capitalism?</span>
  </em>
  <span> And you’re asking me what’s wrong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ryusui’s head whips around, looking almost offended. “What’s wrong with capitalism?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo nearly falls on his ass. This guy… can’t be serious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stands, brushes non-existent dirt of his pants, and crosses his arms while he tries to breathe deep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fucking. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Capitalism.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with capitalism?” He raises both eyebrows. “You can’t pretend like the wage gap wasn’t killing people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ryusui pouts. He fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>pouts. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Looking petulant, he says, “oh, you’re one of those.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eh, it’s not that bad, Ukyo,” Senku picks at his ear. “He can have all the resources and money he wants, doesn’t mean much if we don’t give him anything useful to put it towards.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The pout turns into a wicked, challenging smile. “You think I won’t find a way to squeeze it out of you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Senku simply shrugs. Unbothered. Ukyo wonders if he’s had a plan to even the playing field all along. But he doesn’t push it, the less Ryusui knows the better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dang,” he shakes his head at him, then turns to Ukyo. It’s the first time they’ve really stood face to face since waiting out the storm that first day. So when his eyes rake up and down Ukyo’s body, this time it’s blatantly obvious. “Why are all the hot ones like this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo just barely keeps his expression neutral. The conversation with Kohaku pops up in his mind, and he decides that there’s no way in hell he’d be getting close enough to this guy to take her advice. Shame. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hyoga’s image slips into his mind’s eye and it makes something uncomfortable crawl under his skin. He all but physically shakes himself out of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have standards,” Ukyo scoffs at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Behind him, he hears someone laugh. It’s a quick, aborted sound. And when he turns he sees Kohaku, just barely holding back her laughter with lips pinched between her teeth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shakes her head at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Having clearly lost Ukyo’s attention Ryusui stomps off, mumbling about not wasting his valuable time with ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>his kind</span>
  </em>
  <span>.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo asks her once he’s out of ear shot. “What are you laughing at.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She laughs again, this time not holding it back as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said you had standards, hah!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Senku looks as lost as Ukyo is offended and he just looks between them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dude,” she folds one arm under her breast and points at him accusingly. “You had sex with that Hyoga guy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The change in Senku’s expression at the discovery is laughable. His expression turning to one of horrified shock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s something I never needed to know— you slept with a eugenicist and you’re mad at me about reviving a capitalist?” He questions Ukyo. “All I have to do is invent renewable energy and not let him get his hands on it, then his oil fortune is gone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo blinks. “Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He watches as realization dawns on Senku’s face. “Huh, so you’re gay? How does that work?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeah, he’s not in any mindset to give the homosexual birds and the bees lecture to a science nerd high school kid. He can ask Gen about that. Or literally anyone else. He shakes his head resolutely and walks away, hearing Senku protest behind him before giving up in a huff. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What the hell had Ukyo’s life turned into?</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You gonna finish that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo moves backwards when Chrome leans across his plate to point at Ryusui’s. He sits, waits patiently, as the kid invades his personal space. It could be worse, he could have actually put his hand in Ukyo’s food like he almost did just then. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” Ryusui looks up from where he’s picking at the pile of fish in front of him. He’d eaten a bit of it before giving up, starting to push the meat around with his spoon after a few bites. “No, go for it!” he passes the plate of food to Chrome who takes it in excitement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With Chrome no longer blocking his food, Ukyo sits back straight, picks up one of the skewered chunks of meat. Looks over at the way Ryusui is playing with his hands, fingers brushing against the petrification scar on the right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d sat down next to Ukyo when they all started eating, as if they had a debate on ethics earlier, looking a little lost. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not hungry?” Ukyo asks around a mouth full of grilled fish.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ryusui looks up like he’s surprised that Ukyo actually spoke to him. He blinks, scratching his eyebrow when he realizes what he’s doing with his hand. “It’s just. All the same.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, yeah,” Ukyo swallows, sucks at his teeth. “There’s only so much we have here. Can’t be picky.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He narrows his eyes a miniscule degree at Ukyo. Just a slight twitch to show he’s annoyed. “I’m not picky, I’m just not used to this yet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then get used to it,” Ukyo shrugs, not feeling too sympathetic at this point. “Or you won’t last long.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He has no patience to coddle a spoiled rich kid. He’s had to console vegans through consuming animals, scour miles to find the right herb to alleviate the symptoms of meat intolerance, and help them plant foods to prevent scurvy and other deficiencies. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Then </span>
  </em>
  <span> he had to safeguard those stocks of scarce nutrition sources to make sure everyone had </span>
  <em>
    <span>just enough. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But not liking the lack of variety? He couldn't say he had any sympathy for that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s your problem, anyways?” Ryusui finally asks, leaning back and folding his arms to get a good look at Ukyo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re all leaning against logs positioned around the food and cooking fires, it would feel like camping if the sense of permanence wasn’t so pervading. Half way across the group from them, Senku and Kohaku are exchanging some of their mutual findings. She tells him what they saw on the ground while he laments not having her eyesight in the skies. Chrome is on Ukyo’s other side, filling in the gaps of the story in the skies for Kohaku.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo just gestures at the guy. “You won’t even eat because you don’t like the food,” he tells him. “I’m trying to believe you're not just a spoiled brat but you're not helping your case.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you I’m not used to it yet,” Ryusui huffs. “Is it so bad that I need to adjust?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Food is the first thing you should be adjusting to,” Ukyo reprimands. “If you want to survive. But you barely ate half a tail. That doesn’t even look like you’re trying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can hear the way the others have stopped talking to listen in on them. Ukyo ignores it in favor of gauging the way Ryusui’s expression shifts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, what’s one meal?” Ryusui scoffs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo scrubs at his face with his clean hands. “You never know when </span>
  <em>
    <span>one meal </span>
  </em>
  <span>is going to be the last meal you have for a while. We’ve been flooded out of fishing and hunting from a single freak storm. For over a week.” He puts his food down, losing his appetite, but he’s already eaten half of it, anyways. “We’ve had food stocks destroyed by animals. We’ve had to preserve food through the winter and ration it to </span>
  <em>
    <span>bites </span>
  </em>
  <span>at times. One meal matters.” He shoves the rest of his plate -- a whole fish and then some -- at Ryusui.. “Now eat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He takes the plate that’s forced at him before it drops, scowling. But when he looks back up at Ukyo, something makes him pause.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukyo’s right, you know,” Ruri says. Ukyo, who hadn’t heard her approach during his rant, jumps a little. He’s really not used to being snuck up on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turns to see her bring another tray of food and some vegetables, sliding it between them all and settling next to her sister.. They look like they’ve got just the barest seasoning on them, but they’re fresh, and Ukyo’s mouth waters. A whole season or fermented roots and cabbage really had him finishing all his veggies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grabs a carrot and the crunch of the first bite is </span>
  <em>
    <span>so satisfying. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have some warnings and instructions for preserving food in the Hundred Stories, but,” she takes a deep breath and Kohaku pats her shoulder, “outside those, there’s points in our history where Ishigami Village almost perished.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The mood turns sullen then. Ukyo noticed that about Ruri, that her words carried a different weight. At first, he thought it was just her role of importance in the Stone World society, but then he saw how even those from the old world hung on her every word.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hell, Ukyo himself often found himself drowning out the rest of the world to focus on what she said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There was one point, just before my mother was born, when a catastrophic storm hit and destroyed most of the village. The river flooded so high we had to run inland, and the water was polluted for months,” she tells this story differently. It’s clear that this is different from the Hundred Stories. This isn’t a legend meant to be passed down, this story is part of the trauma of a primitive, surviving humanity. “And there was once a time when everything was dying. Like a sickness on the land, all the plants were choked to death by weeds and without them, the animals left.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Senku reacts to that one. “That one can’t be recent,” he frowns. “”The vegetation here is too strong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, these trees are unchanged for hundreds of years,” she confirms, “this story I’m telling you is ancient to us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not to mention,” Kohaku adds from where she’s reclined having long sense devoured her plate, “Sometimes the season is just bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo almost forgets Ryusui is beside him until he hears the sound of wood against clay and turns to see that he’s started to pick at the plate with his spoon. He pushes at the meat, pulls the skin of the fish off. It really looks like he’s working himself up to it but he does take another solid bite from the fish. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He makes a face, pulls a fish bone out of his mouth, but keeps eating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a moment where it’s clear that his pride’s been bruised, but Ukyo can’t be mad when he’s clearly taking all their words to heart. So he says nothing, just grabs two more carrots and puts one on Ryusui’s plate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well one thing’s for sure!” Chrome starts with a sudden, jolting enthusiasm. Ukyo cringes hard when he yells in his ear. “We don’t have to worry about the weather anymore with Ryusui here!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s true,” Senku grins, and Ukyo already knows he’s committed to keeping this guy in his arsenal by any means, “He predicted another storm that would have killed us all up there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ruri’s hand comes to her mouth in shock, it’s barely perceptible but Ukyo can hear the tiny gasp she makes when she looks over Kohaku towards Senku. “Really?” she turns to Ryusui, “is that possible.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only glancing up for a moment, Ryusui shrugs, chews his food. Ukyo thinks he might </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>be ashamed and he gives that credit to Ruri’s presence. “It’s completely possible.” He swallows then and Ukyo watches impressed at how easy he bounces back in the next moment. He grins, leaning back against the log with on elbow and lifting the rest of the fish by the skewer. “What you talked about was probably a typhoon, I wouldn’t be worth my salt as a captain if I didn’t see such a monster days ahead of time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo watches then as he takes a bite straight out of the skin of the fish that he had been carefully peeling and plucking bits of just a minute ago. His jaw shifts a bit and he spits out a few bones onto his plate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he catches Ukyo watching, he sends him the most confident wink Ukyo’s ever seen in his life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s almost thinking he was wrong about Ryusui before, but then the kid gags a little before composing himself. A chagrined blush of red flushing his neck and he breaks eye contact.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rolling his eyes, Ukyo takes one last vegetable from the shared pile and finds himself wondering if Ryusui can predict blizzards, too.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Would he have believed this?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter was fun to write. The campfire scene is one I've wanted to write for a little while now.</p><p> </p><p>There is Ukyo x Minami in this chapter, but nothing really happens... yet. </p><p>TW: nightmare mentions, social isolation, drinking, suggestive comments and gestures</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The five of them start to explore together, with Ukyo and Chrome on the ground and the other three their eyes in the skies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or specifically, Kohaku being their eyes in the sky. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it goes well. Chrome catches on to the way Ukyo winces when he shouts and quiets down to a more reasonable level… at least most of the time. If he slips and yells in Ukyo’s ear a few times a day, he can’t be too mad since the kid is clearly trying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They hunt, they find wheat, it all goes smoothly. Their collective skill sets complimenting each other seamlessly. Even with Ryusui’s insufferable charisma, Ukyo gets used to it and they manage not to have anymore heated discussion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In fact, there’s one night in particular that Ukyo finds himself struck with the realization that he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>laughing</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you don’t understand!” Senku insisted. “The ramen was a load of shit the first time we had it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?!” Chrome looks so affronted he nearly falls into Kohaku. She just pushes him back upright like she’s used to it. “But- but it was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>tasty.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But compared to the old world,” Senku looks forlorn. “It doesn’t compare, not even by a millimeter.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh,” Ryusui frowns at his own cup of freeze dried noodles that they’re eating with the boar they brought in. “I thought this was what all cup noodles tasted like.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Senku raises an eyebrow at him. “Hell no! Haven’t you ever had ramen before?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sucking on his teeth, Ryusui glances at Ukyo for a second before looking back at Senku to say, “only prepared by a top chef. Never freeze dried.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Top chef?” Kohaku asks while Senku waves him off like he doesn’t want to hear anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think, Ukyo?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kohaku’s lip curls at being ignored.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A top chef is someone who can cook really good food every time,” Ukyo explains, “Not everyone had that.” Then he adds, lifting his cup just a bit. “This isn’t too bad, try having military grade food for months straight. But it isn’t as good as what you could get at a 7/11.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why did he say that? His mind immediately, </span>
  <em>
    <span>immediately</span>
  </em>
  <span> provides a flash of an image from the last time he heard that reference. And for a moment, he’s there again, down by the river, ass naked on Hyoga’s cloak over the rocky ground, the man himself between his legs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He physically shakes himself out of it. Swallows hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fair,” Senku nods, going back to slurping his noodles. No one seems to have noticed the moment he just had.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then he’s making eye contact with Ryusui who raises a questioning eyebrow at him. Ukyo just shakes his head.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s moments where he worries, though, while he’s traveling with them all. He worries that it’s only a matter of time before he has a nightmare that he can’t cover up. And he thinks himself lucky one day that it hasn’t happened yet, that maybe he’d get through the rest of the trip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then that hope is shattered when he’s waking up with a quick shout in the middle of Kohaku’s watch shift… </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She startles, but doesn’t react the same as last time. While Ukyo sits there, with his head in his hands, trying to catch his breath, he hears Kohaku tell Senku and Chrome that there’s nothing to worry about. Go back to sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo looks up finally to see Ryusui lifted his head, just enough to squint blearily at him. He’s got his brow furrowed in concern, watching the way Ukyo’s composing himself. On their side, Kohaku is watching. Unreadable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shakes his head at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nightmare?” Ryusui pushes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo takes a deep breath through his nose. “Yeah. It’s fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That happen a lot?” He yawns.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“None of your business.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His response makes Ryusui pout, sulking. He grumbles a </span>
  <em>
    <span>well fine </span>
  </em>
  <span>and turns over, going back to sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo swallows against the dryness of his throat and winces. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally making it back to what used to be the Kingdom of Science, Ukyo is hit once again with the reality that it really hasn’t been that long since everything changed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the village, and on their exploration trip, he’d had to readjust to shows of kindness and camaraderie. He had to adjust to the shows of warmth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, as he steps into the grounds he used to run as a feared leader, Ukyo feels that warmth drop away like he’s stepped straight into winter again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone keeps a distance from him, the smiles are polite but strained, no one really talks to him if they don’t have to. After the last few weeks of feeling welcomed, this just feels cruel. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They ask him to teach. As they prepare to start a harvest for the fall, they want him to start planning a curriculum. And at first, he wants to decline. But he accepts. Thinks that maybe it would be good to feel useful again when Senku insists he’s the most well suited. Aside from Ryusui and himself, Ukyo has the highest level of education.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So his days are filled with drafting ideas of basic knowledge and trying to recover as many details of history and academic concepts as he can remember. Basic world history. A little English since so many borrowed words would come up. Historical figures. And Japanese culture. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Writing.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Reading. Basic maths and sciences. He’s good to teach the lower level stuff but as they went, Senku would have to take over that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He does this planning alone, for the most part, only taking a few pointers on the Hundred Tales from Ruri over the cellphone. Factors them into his curriculum plan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Otherwise he’s usually bent over his stacks of paper alone. People don’t really ask him how he’s doing or check in with him. Just the occasional estimate on when he’ll have the plans ready.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s one day like this, in late spring. Senku and Ryusui are discussing foods to prepare while the power team works on tilling the fields and bringing in wheat from where they found it growing. Everyone has their roles to do and even if they had time, he wouldn’t be bothered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His workspace is outside the small home they build for him. It’s a little room behind where the school house is set to be. Surrounded by trees. It’s actually quite nice. When he pulls the desk outside and works there, it’s not a bad way to be. And that evening was calm, the weather mild, a light breeze blowing through the trees.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s racking his brain, trying to remember details of the political system back then. Figures that even if he doesn’t teach it any time soon, writing it down would be good. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But for the life of him, he’s blanking. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows </span>
  </em>
  <span>this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He takes his hat off, throws it down on the table they built for him and scratches viciously through his hair in frustration. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit,” he groans. He’s been working on this nonstop since morning. Maybe he needs a break.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can hear someone walking up nearby, but he’s not prepared for when those footsteps actually come his way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then there are hands coming down on his shoulders. “Ukyo!” Nikki greets jovially, but she only raised her voice a little. He jumps, pulling his head out of his hands. She and Minami are there, Minami has a sly little smile on her face while Nikki massages heavily at his shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huh?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing later?” Nikki asks, he can hear the excitement in her voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Later?” He thinks. Nothing. “I’ll eat with everyone then work on this some more. Maybe check in with Senku.” Nikki is still massaging at his shoulders, moving him with every dig into his muscles. His eyes flutter a little when she hits a particularly sensitive trigger point. “Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minami pushes his papers aside to sit on the table top. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It puts her at an angle that his eyes immediately zoom into her chest. He can’t help it, they’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>right there. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He hasn’t thought about it much after being with a man for so long, but now, he’s remembering that he really does like a woman’s company. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a moment, he finally shakes himself out of his staredown with Minami’s cleavage and manages to look up at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And she’s already watching him, an eyebrow raised as he lifts his eyes. Caught.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels his ears </span>
  <em>
    <span>burn. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She picks his hat off the table and acts like nothing happened. He figures she’s probably used to it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ruri let Nikki take some wine for bringing back all the wheat,” Minami explains, brushing his hat off. She places it on her head and leans on one arm. Because of her headband, it sits to the side, lopsided on her head. It’s cute. “She’s being kind enough to share it with us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” Nikki says with a grin in her voice, “it’s only one barrel but I’d bet we all have shit tolerance at this point. Let’s get drunk!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or at least tipsy,” Miinami agrees. “Senku said not to expect this stuff to be too strong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo.. doesn’t know how to take this. He finds himself looking between them. Finds himself unfocusing, and struggling when his eyes once again drift to Minami’s chest. He forces himself to look into the distance, even if it puts him at a weird angle since she was </span>
  <em>
    <span>completely </span>
  </em>
  <span>in his field of view. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re asking me?” He says, unable to help himself. He’s just confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!” Nikki says, digging into that trigger point until he makes a sound, hisses. The muscle releases and he slumps in his chair when she lets him go. Pats him on the back. “You’re not our boss anymore, why not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, he was never really my boss,” Minami says, the way she shifts has him glancing down before making eye contact with her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s starting to think she’s doing it on purpose. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was just always so far up Hyoga’s ass or in his own world.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nikki folds her arms, looks at him with her warm smile. She’s really a charming woman, even if she is years younger than him and could break him in half. “What do you say, Ukyo?”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hours later he finds himself around a small campfire with Nikki, Minami, Yo, and Gen. A couple of the warrior types that hung around Yo all the time and Ukyo recognizes them. But he’s ashamed to admit he doesn’t remember their names. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’ve been drinking for a little while now, each of them well into being tipsy. Nikki was right that any built up tolerance to alcohol had been lost for the most part. So they’re all feeling loosened up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Man, this feels unreal,” Nikki says suddenly, leaning back to rest her elbows against the log behind her. She’s got a red glow to her skin but her words aren’t slurring yet. “Would you have believed this was reality if someone told you back in winter?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” Minami sniffs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hell no,” Yo burps. His friends agree.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but my circumstances were different,” Gen says with a cheeky smile. Nikki throws something at him, it looks like a pebble when it bounces off his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo sits for a moment, debates. Would he believe this?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” he says. “I might believe it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all turn to him in shock…. Except for Gen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You knew Senku was alive before I did, didn’t you?” he asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo sips at his drink a bit deeper this time. “Yeah,” he says when he’s done. “Yeah I knew when you lied.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah, wait,” Nikki leans forward to look at him. “How did you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He taps at his ears. “I overheard Yuzuriha and Taiju.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all chime in a simultaneous, drawn out chorus of, “Oooooooooooh.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo just gives them a close lipped smile in response, fixes his hat so they can’t see his eyes when everything starts to feel fuzzy. He thinks about the question. He’d have believed in.. most of this. But it hadn’t been until he met Senku through the phone that he realized just what level of advanced science he could bring to the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, no, over winter he wouldn’t have believed they’d have achieved flight and automobiles. But the rest of it? Yeah not far.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except for the boat. Ukyo still can’t quite wrap his head around the fact the kid wants to drag them to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Brazil. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, you never answered my question,” Minami calls him out, she’s sitting just a little ways away from him and when she turns to prop her elbow on the log and confront him, they’re pretty much side by side, her knees hitting his hip. “How long did you plan to betray Tsukasa?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He licks his teeth behind closed lips. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>has </span>
  </em>
  <span>answered this question. Once. And sometimes he wishes he could have taken it back. Let it remain a mystery. But he supposes it doesn’t matter anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Since summer,” he tells her, “pretty much since I was revived.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah,” she seems genuinely surprised. Even Gen raises an eyebrow at him. “That’s… But weren’t you…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turns to her, not bothering to hide his confusion. “Hm?” he sips his wine. Even Nikki looks a little off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They mean your dear friend Hyoga,” Gen tells him directly, “It’s shocking that you would betray him from the beginning like that, is all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyoga?” Yo frowns hard, it’s almost comedic the way his lips curve down so far.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo feels something uncomfortable curling in his gut, like the wine isn’t settling well. He shrugs. “He and I were never that serious. It wasn’t like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Could’ve had me fooled,” Minami tells him honestly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shrugs again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just have,” Yo says, he’s nearly the most drunk at this point and half of what comes out of his mouth is offensive at best. He belches. “I just have one question.” He raises a finger, then uses it to point at Ukyo across the small fire from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Ukyo asks, sipping at his own wine. It’s sweet, fruity, nothing he’d have helped himself to in the past but after so long, the taste of alcohol and fuzziness in his head is enjoyable enough that he doesn’t mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yo squints at him. Everyone watches, as he leans forward, looks at Ukyo with his head tilted. “I guess I can see it, but are you really gay, dude?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t just </span>
  <em>
    <span>ask that</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Nikki scolds, swiping at his shoulder and he knocks off balance. His friends next to him look equal parts embarrassed as they do curious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, my,” Gen says, palm circling the bottom of his bamboo cup, “If it’s the topic of sexuality, then perhaps we should clear the air of any bad blood first.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I ain’t got any beef with the homos,” Yo says, waves it off, “I just don’t get it. Right guys?” He smacks at the guy sitting next to him who hits him back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, no problem,” he says. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The guy on the other side of Yo adds, “As long as I don’t get hit on, I don’t care.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo looks at him, at the uneven hair cut and layer of grime on his shoulders that he can see from across the group. As much as he appreciates the power crew, he would appreciate this guy more if he’d showered first. Doesn’t think anyone is going to be hitting on him really. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not gay,” Ukyo announces and they all look at him like he’s lost his mind. He’d be more upset if he wasn’t so used to this kind of response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There are </span>
  <em>
    <span>a lot more </span>
  </em>
  <span>than two sexualities,” he huffs. “I don’t really have a preference.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But like,” Yo reaches a hand out like he’s trying to physically stop the conversation before it moves on, “in the old days, did you hook up with men or women more?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Both?” He thinks. He spent so much time in the navy, he really only got to fool around in university. “I had a girlfriend before enlisting. After that, if I hooked up it was really just in the moment.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Nikki nods. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s really not as complicated as people say,” Gen agrees with Ukyo, “I’m much the same, Ukyo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo raises his glass to that and Gen returns it before they both take a long sip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, you do like women?” Minami asks, resting her head on her hand and looking at him directly again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s plenty tipsy at this point and his hat falls into his eyes when he looks over to her, at the way she’s holding his eye contact. It’s the same kind of look she used to reserve for Tsukasa, even if he never took the bait. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes Ukyo’s brain a chance to catch up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hang on you guys remember memes, right?” Yo asks, nearly spilling his drink. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all turn back to look at him. Confirm that, yes, they do remember memes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You ever seen that one of the hamster trying to eat the banana?” he asks, and it looks like he’s trying not to laugh at his own joke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gen’s eyes close like he’s waiting for whatever this is to turn into something and Nikki says she remembers. It takes Ukyo a moment but he’s pretty sure he saw those on some gay dating profiles back in the day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yo points at Ukyo again with a way too satisfied smirk. “That’s you and Hyoga.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo feels his face fall as the rest of them break out into barely suppressed laughter. Minami looks like she’s trying so hard not to laugh, giggling behind her hand and not looking at him. Yo looks proud of himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look,” Ukyo says, “Just cause that guy’s abnormally tall doesn’t mean shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Yo’s mouth falls open a little, he’s clearly drunk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m assuming he’s trying to say they switched,” Gen says behind his own cup. Ukyo’s starting to wonder if he’s even had anything to drink. “Which is common.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Nikki looks like the whole conversation is giving her a degree of secondhand embarrassment. “So like… even though…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re the hamster on a banana, but you also fucked the banana,” Yo says, and it shouldn’t make as much sense as it does. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo looks around all of them. “Why is this such a shock to you? And why are we talking about my sex life in the first place?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who’s having sex?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all look up to see that Ryusui has approached their circle, sliding in between Nikki and Minami. He looks excited, like the topic of sex and a round of wine is his type of fun. Ukyo has no doubt that this is exactly the case. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks over Minami at the way Ryusui reclines against the log. He’s not wearing his coat for once. Instead, just an off white tunic with short sleeves, the collar open, showing that he’s been sweating with the way his collar bones glisten. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo’s mouth goes dry for a sec. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukyo,” they all say in unison to Ryusui’s question and it pulls him out of his daze. He blinks around the circle before catching Ryusui’s eye. His eyebrows are in his hairline. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Remember that hamster meme with the banana?” Yo practically yells, way too excited to make the same joke again. When Ryusui nods, Yo points at Ukyo </span>
  <em>
    <span>again. </span>
  </em>
  <span>When was this guy going to quit that? “Ukyo’s the gay hamster!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you I’m not gay!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, bisexual?” Ryusui asks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo just vaguely waves his hands in response. An approximate </span>
  <em>
    <span>more or less. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ve been educating our heterosexual friends here about switching,” Gen explains. “And that hook ups don’t require a preplanned gender.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, hookups,” Ryusui sighs heavily, folding his arms and leaning his head back. His neck arches and Ukyo stares. Catches himself again, looks anywhere else. “I miss hookups.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a unanimous murmur around the circle from everyone (except Nikki who just scratches behind her ear. Ukyo thinks it’s endearing.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, same,” Minami hisses under her breath in a way that only Ukyo can really pick up on. It has him turning to where she’s still in his space, pretty much turned away from the rest of the group. She rubs at her temple with the hand holding up her head. When they make eye contact she says, “you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s something in the tone, in the way she looks at him, that has Ukyo double taking. And just like that she completely has his attention. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he agrees, as if she told him to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She licks her teeth, presses her tongue until it bulges in her cheek. A quick motion. To get her point across. “Glad you agree.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest of them are starting to reminisce about dating. About the old world in general. Fantasizing about what society could become for them. Ukyo can’t say he’s very interested in the conversation or the way Ryusui and Gen are debating on what form of entertainment is most important. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, guys I’m a,” Ukyo puts his cup down and points with his thumb over his shoulder. “Tired. I’m gonna head out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm, same,” Minami stifles a yawn, but Ukyo can hear how fake it is even through his slight intoxication. He just needs to walk it off really. “I’ll head out with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. You sure you’re not, like, completely gay?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***PLEASE READ***</p><p>There is m/f sex in this chapter. Like a lot of it. If that makes you uncomfortable, you can skip this and you won't miss anything major. It's mostly just self indulgent plus more subtle details I wanted to include. </p><p>But if for any reason this pairing bothers you or you don't like m/f content, you don't need to read this. I'll put a quick blurb in the end notes as a summary.</p><p>TW: m/f explicit sexual content, oral sex, somewhat rough handling, implied pain during sex (Ukyo stops tho),</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Once they’re well away from the group, treading down the dirt roads leading towards Ukyo’s room behind the school house, Minami stops him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She tugs on his sleeve, prompting him to stop. The night is dark, there’s no one out at this time with the lack of public lighting, and they’re making their way purely from Ukyo’s memory and the half moon lighting up the world around them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turns to her, a little taken by the somewhat shy look she has on. As though she wasn’t the one insinuating a hook up all of five minutes ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Watching as she chews on her lip, Ukyo fixates a little too hard on her lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please tell me you got the picture back there,” she finally says, “that I’m not about to make a fool of myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lifts his hand to point over his shoulder, “We’re going back to mine, yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He watches as her stance relaxes, the way she’s biting her lip quickly evolving from nervous to teasing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo feels his mouth go dry. Licks his bottom lip just a little. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I share a room,” she says, “So yeah, yours.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They share a small, conspiratorial smile there in the middle of the crossroads between the path that leads to Ukyo’s and the path that leads to the rest of the Kingdom. Her hand smooths down his arm until she reaches his and he takes it. Pulls her in and uses his other hand to cradle her jaw. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes flutter shut as she goes willingly, and he leans in to press an experimental kiss to her full lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sighs, fingers snagging in his tunic to pull him closer. Ukyo brushes her hair over her shoulder, uses his hand to tilt her head so he can deepen their kiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The little sound she lets out is so </span>
  <em>
    <span>feminine. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ukyo finds a completely different sense of excitement burning in him. It’s been so long since he’s been with a woman. And she’s so different from what he’d been used to recently, he finds himself hungry for the way she bends with him, curves into his body. Soft skin, soft lips, and soft curves he’s suddenly eager to become acquainted with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t even care that he’s clearly just an option for her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pulling away from him, she tells him, “Come on, show me what kept Hyoga around all those months.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo licks his lips, looks up over her head, feels the wrench of his gut at the man’s name </span>
  <em>
    <span>almost </span>
  </em>
  <span>kill his mounting interest in the situation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Almost.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… begging you not to bring him up tonight,” he says emphatically, the fingers at her jaw falling to her shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She presses her lips together and looks to the side in a half-laughing motion to show she’s chagrined. “Point taken.” A small smile pulls at her lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He puts more distance between them only to tug her along by their joined hand, rushing a little to get to his room faster. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It feels… familiar. In this strange world. He suddenly feels like he’s back in university, rushing home from the club with whoever he picked up right behind him. Giggling behind him or a heavy form pressing against his back as he unlocks the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s something refreshing about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they’re inside, she’s tugging him back in by the collar, knocking his hat off his head in one motion to better access his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In response, he pulls her in by the waist, presses back harder, backs her up into the wall beside the curtain doorway. She lets out a little sound when her back hits the surface, arms snaking around to join behind his head. One hand tangling to pull at his hair as his own fingers dig into her dress, smooth up her back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They part for a second, breathing heavy, breath warm on his lips. She’s pliant in his hold, all soft curves melting against him, pressing against him at every point. The hand not in his hair smooths down to his chest, feeling across his pecks. She tugs him back in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time when they meet, he prompts her lips open, slows them down as he deepens the kiss. Takes the way her hands scratch at his scalp as a sign to get bolder. He moves his hands to follow the curve of her waist to her ass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a good grip on her he pulls them tighter together, her upper back still pressed against the wall. She makes another little noise in response, but the way she holds him tighter encourages him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s already making so many sounds he starts to realize she’s going to be loud. The thought is a little overwhelming to him. After months of him being the loud one, of a silent lover pressing him into the sheets, he finds the thought of a woman under him, one as responsive as Minami at that, to be a very, very welcome change of pace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hitches her leg up around his hip, presses her into the wall harder. It hitches her skirt up completely, and she breaks away from the kiss with a gasp.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukyo, as hot as this is, the fur is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> going to work here,” she pants, tilting her head back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit,” he curses, kissing at her exposed neck before stepping back. Lets her leg down to take off his tunic so he can drop the fur belt onto the floor. He kicks it to the side, he can deal with it later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now that he’s shirtless, his eyes move back up to hers only to see the way she’s scanning him with hunger, lower lip between her teeth. She’s got her eyes on his scars when she uses one hand to beckon him closer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It makes him laugh, just a little, his ego boosted enough to move back into her space with a little more assertion than before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She grabs at his shoulders as his hands pull her in by the hips, immediately returning to their position from before so he can hitch her leg up now that the irritating furs are gone. He presses their hips together and grinds into her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She moans against his lips, breaking the kiss. So he moves to her jaw, kisses down her neck, uses his free hand to tilt her jaw up to give him access. She lets out a shuddering breath, going pliant once again with her arms around his neck. He slides the hand at her jaw down to her collarbones, and down further until he reaches her breast.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her breath hitches when he palms her, squeezes through the fabric of her dress. It’s such a fucking nice feeling he can’t help the way he bites her neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>God, he missed women. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Between the way he’s grinding into her, one hand tight around her thigh, while the other massages her breast already has her letting out soft sighs and little sounds of pleasure in his ear. Gets him harder in his trousers where he’s pressed against her. It takes all of his self control not to bite harder, not to suck harder at her neck. He respects her dignity in the morning and holds himself back. Keeps mouthing open kisses on the column of her neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly she’s pushing him back, and he’s about to ask what’s wrong when she’s grabbing his shirt to switch their positions on the wall. His back hits the stone, and he’s about to lean back in but then she’s sliding down to her knees and his brain goes blank, mouth dropping open enough to part his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She smirks up at him, fingers at the waist line of his pants, she closes her eyes to press light kisses along the top of the hem. It’s her turn to mouth at his skin now, teasing the skin above his pants and licking the vein she finds there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He keeps taking shaky breaths, keeps his upper back pressed against the wall and lifts his hips off when she tugs down his pants. When they’re low enough for her to pull him out, he sucks in air at the way her delicate hands wrap around his cock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He watches the way she pulls it to one side to mouth at the base, makes her way up the side. When she gets just beneath the head, she opens her eyes, looks up through her lashes as she licks up to the slit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s maddening, but she’s so fucking beautiful he can’t even be mad. The show she puts on as she mouths at his head, bobs shallowly so he bulges into her cheek, keeps eye contact as she starts to go deeper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Needing to do something with his hands, he brushes the hair out of her face, uses one hand to gather it behind her head to hold it back for her. The other hand thumbs at her cheek. When she feels the motion, she shifts again, lets him bulge into the side of her mouth again so he can feel it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighs heavily, lets his hand drop to encourage her to keep going. Head falling back against the wall when she picks up speed in earnest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t last long until he’s looking back down again, not wanting to miss the way her eyelashes flutter against her cheeks or the way her lips stretch around his cock. He groans a little when the head hits the back of her throat and she hums.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sounds rather pleased with herself really. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The phantom touch of a hand around his neck has him feeling exposed. The pleasure is building up in his stomach, orgasm easing closer with every bob of her head. But the lack of a pressure around his throat becomes stark and he realizes he’s not going to get anywhere else like this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As fun as it is, the feeling really has him feeling strange enough to pull her off, gently, by the grip he has on her hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She comes off his dick with a pop of her lips, letting him tilt her head back as she uses her own spit to keep pumping him in front of her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“C’mere,” he says, guiding her back to her feet. She moves with him, keeping her hand on his cock. It’s amazing to him, how compliant she is with every motion, letting him pull her closer by the back of her head and into another kiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He keeps it short, moves to her neck, just so he can hear her breathing heavy in his ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bed,” he whispers, and she nods, pulling back so he can move, bringing her over to the sleep pallet in the corner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sits down first and she lowers herself easily into his lap, arms around his neck while he grabs her ass to grind her down against him. She moans, fingers scratching at the skin of his neck as he finds the hem of her dress, starts to hitch it up higher around her waist until he can lift it over her head completely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The waist line gets caught on her breasts and he watches the way they fall back down heavily. He throws the dress aside and immediately leans forward to mouth along the skin of her chest. Her hands tangle and tug in his hair as he gets one nipple between his lips, sucks, nips with his teeth, listens to the sounds she makes as he does. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She curses above him, moving with his hands to keep grinding down on him through her panties. When she keeps up the motion, he brings one hand to pay attention to her other breast.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gasps, “Please, I need you inside me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Holy fucking shit. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gets a good hold of her so he can flip them around. Presses her into the mattress. Sits up enough to look at her, laid out underneath him in nothing but her panties. Her legs are on either side of his hips, chest heaving, tits falling to her sides just a little. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looks incredible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re so beautiful,” he says, moving to take her panties off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” she smiles, “I know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It makes him grin back at her. It’s not quite the banter he’s used to, but it’s nice. Hearing the way she’s confident in the situation is nice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He separates just to take his own pants off, frees himself of the restriction, before moving back between her legs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moves his fingers down, slides along her clit and watches the full body shiver she makes when he puts a little pressure. Moves the pads of his fingers down the line to her opening.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s wet. She’s really wet. And he looks at the way it gathers clear and slick on his fingers before he’s pushing two inside. Hooks his fingers up to massage along her walls.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She moans, hands moving up to grip at the pillow under her head, knees shaking a little as she tries to close them around his hips. Using his free hand, he pushes her knee up to her chest to keep her open, leans down to mouth at the way her neck is exposed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He listens to the little sounds she makes, to the mewls and pants as he pumps his fingers inside of her, how she gets louder when he pulls them out. Just to use the wetness to press circles into her clit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It has her shaking, the faster he gets, the harder he pushes against her, and he makes his way down, mouthing along her skin again until he gets to her breast. Takes a nipple in his mouth to suck hard, bite a little rougher. The way she sings for him letting him know the rougher treatment is something she’s into. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s scrambling to get a hold of him. One hand gripping his shoulder, digging her nails in, while the other pulls at his hair, pushes him down to keep him on her. He keeps going with his hands until she’s shaking, moaning loud, cumming on his fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gives her a break, takes his wet hand to slick up his cock. Moves from her nipple to suck an angry mark next to it where it’ll be covered by her dress. She lets out a pleased little hum at that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Possessive,” she murmurs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just for tonight,” he promises. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” she sighs. “I don’t care where you cum, just don’t finish in me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks up at her as he sits back on his knees. Shakes his head. “I wasn’t planning to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His own hand on his dick is almost painful with how hard he is and it’s a relief when he’s finally pressing into her, one hand guiding himself until he can use both hands to push her farther open by the backs of her knees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm,” she closes her eyes, hands flopping to the pillow by her head. “You feel nice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lips curling at the praise, he starts to rock into her, feels the heat and tightness of her body. Breaths heavy as he picks up his pace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He watches as her features go from relaxed to pleasure again. Brow twisting and lips falling open as she lets out little sounds with every thrust. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With the way she responded to rougher treatment earlier, he tries picking up the pace, watching the way she grips the pillow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Harder,” she gasps.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He does as he’s told, using the next thrust to rock into her so hard he pushes her up the bed. Her moans get louder and he watches the way her curves bounce with each motion. Fingers twisting in the pillow. He knows she’s still sensitive from the first orgasm, but wonders how many he could get out of her that night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Throwing one of her legs over his shoulder to free his hand, he thumbs back at her clit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She cums almost immediately. Tightening around his cock and shaking on the bed. Her knees try to close, and he forces them back open, grinds into her until she’s screaming. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he releases her, she goes slack on the bed. It’s easy to pull out then just to flip her over onto her stomach.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her gasp turns into an excited giggle when he hitches her hips up, takes a hold by her waist, and starts pounding into her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Face in the pillow, she gets louder with every thrust, soft and compliant under him as he pumps into her. He feels his climax building, building.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then he swallows against the empty feeling on his throat and it has him faltering. He loses the build up. Feels his stomach drop when he realizes somethings missing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s the second time it’s happened that night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feeling a little desperate, like he needs to prove he doesn’t need it. Doesn’t need a hand around his throat to finish, he thrusts harder, pounds into her. Allowing her pleasure to fuel his own. Tries to focus on that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she’s nearly about to cum again she’s suddenly slapping at the pillow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop, stop!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stops short, feels his hands gripping at her hips, shaking. She’s breathing hard underneath him while he’s holding his breath, worried. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s,” she pants, her face is turned so he can see the way she closes her eyes, “it’s been a while now. It’s starting to hurt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulls out, ignores the way his cock nearly hurts from his continued delay, but helps her turn over on her side. She’s breathing heavy and now he’s just concerned that he actually hurt her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leaning over her, he brushes the hair out of her face. Prompts himself up above her on both hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm? Yeah,” she mumbles, “it was good, give me a second.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just good?” He raises his eyebrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d say fuck you but I already did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just laughs, sits back to give her air. Soothes up the skin of her legs to keep skin to skin contact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Looking down at himself, at the angry red of his erection, he becomes more aware of the missing feeling around his neck. Absently, he rubs at the skin of his throat, covers it up by scratching at his jaw. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She flops onto her back, looks up at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” she asks, “Is it the alcohol?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Right. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Alcohol. That was a good excuse. Kind of.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess so.” He offers an embarrassed huff of laughter. “I’m not really 20 anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She curls her lips a little, but it’s still playful. “Should I be offended?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eyes widening, he shakes his head in earnest. “No, no you were incredible.” He’s embarrassed. Feels the skin of his neck heating up as he rubs at it. “Shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I’m not here for you, I’m here for me,” she says. Lifting one of her legs over his shoulder herself. “I can’t believe this. You sure you’re not, like, completely gay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks down at her, wraps his hand around her ankle where her foot is on his shoulder. Scans his eyes up and down her body, her soft curves, the forming bruise on her breast that he put there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shakes his head. “No. No, Definitely not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She scoffs. “Then you owe me, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so many orgasms</span>
  </em>
  <span> for this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He licks his lips. Looks between her legs then back up at her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay with that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She smiles, foot starting to push him downwards. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then put that mouth to work.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you to Xy for proof reading this.</p><p>If you want to skip, here's a quick summary:</p><p>They have sex, both enjoy themselves a lot, but it takes Ukyo too long to get off. Minami has to ask him to stop, he does. They talk about it, and Ukyo is embarrassed but she doesn't hold it against him. It's implied that he's dependent on aspyhixiation to get off.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. It’s something he’s known the whole time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Last chapter was fun to write, but now we gotta get back to the progress between our main boys.<br/>RYUKYO LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO</p><p>Also, Ryusui deserves to be called handsome. </p><p>TW: implied sex, (sad) masturbation, self asphyxiation, slight improper technique in asphyxiation but it's not even half a sentence, accidental voyeurism, sleep deprivation, school</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Ukyo doesn’t sleep that night but when Minami stirs just before sunrise to sneak out, he pretends to. He listens to her pull on her dress and make her way out through the curtain doorway. Opens his eyes again once her footsteps have made it past the school yard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sitting up in bed, he holds his head in his hands, combs fingers through his bangs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Scowls down at his limp dick in anger. He didn’t cum even once last night. But he’d lost track of how many orgasms Minami had throughout the night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not that it was her fault.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with you,” he hisses at himself, “choking? Of all things? That’s what I have to get off on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He flops backwards. The sun is starting to slope in through the windows. He wonders if, just once, he could get away with sleeping through the whole day. Just to forget his own humiliation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Had it been the alcohol? Or just a fluke? Was he feeling self conscious underneath it all? No that wasn’t right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chewing at his lip, he looks down at himself. No one came to see him during the day. And his room was off the normal road, so anyone coming to see him would be heard well before they’d catch him in the act.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that in mind, he went to the storage chest he kept in his room, moved the stack of papers he kept on top to open it, and searched for the little clay pot he knew was in there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He holds the oil in his hands, turns it over, at how the twine is worn where it’s holding the flap of leathered hide over the top. It’s been mishandled and used, emptied and refilled more times than he can count at this point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Trying not to think too hard about all of that, he goes back to his bed pallet and pours some on his fingers. Leaning back before he begins to stroke himself to hardness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he does, and he keeps going, adjusting to just the way he likes it, adding more oil to see if it helps, pants and tries to bring himself to completion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s aching, it almost hurts after last night. But </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can’t come.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In a frustrated moment of weakness, he breaks, wraps his own hand around his throat and constricts. Gets the angle wrong and coughs but then he’s finding just the right point of pressure to have his head rushing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All the sounds of the Kingdom drowns out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And despite the feeling of humiliation, he cums. Finally. With a low drawn out groan after all the pent up energy from last night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Both hands flopping on the hay mattress, he stares up at his ceiling. Inwardly curses at himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hears a twig snap outside his door and his head whips to the side to see that someone had snuck up on him. Probably while he was caught in the moment unable to hear. There’s a silhouette in the fluttering curtain, frozen as though they won’t get caught if they don’t move.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sucking in a calming breath, Ukyo tears the covers off his bed and uses them to cover himself and the mess on his stomach. He’s going to have to wash his blanket now. Maybe even get a new one dammit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He really underestimated how well asphyxiation worked. He never thought of how long it would drown his senses out that someone could make it from the main road and to his place without being heard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he stands, the shadow starts to make a break for it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hold it!” he snaps. He’s not sure if he even </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants </span>
  </em>
  <span>to know who caught him. But he supposes it would be better to make his threats now before he had to overhear any more rumors about him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Making sure he was properly covered by his blanket, with the top all the way up under his armpits, he holds it up with one hand and throws his curtain door aside with the other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He takes one look at who it is and closes his eyes. Takes a deep, steadying inhale.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Jesus fucking christ.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually, it’s Nanami--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut. Up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ryusui turns, ears red and grin sheepish, from where he had his shoulders up by his ears as he was trying to sneak away. He looks… more embarrassed than Ukyo would have suspected he would. But maybe voyeurism isn’t his usual thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How much did you see?” Ukyo questions him, watching his face for every shift, listening for any change in tone in his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I swear,” Ryusui holds up both hands, “I didn’t stick around, it was just the ending.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How long.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About a minute.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo pinches his nose bridge, presses his elbow tight against his rib cage to help keep his blanket up when he feels it slip. “Why would you even stay in the first place? Isn’t it common sense to leave </span>
  <em>
    <span>quickly. </span>
  </em>
  <span>When you walk in on someone?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ryusui gestures with both arms, not making eye contact.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you see, I was, going to leave, the second I saw you I thought ‘yeah I should leave.’”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why?” Ukyo glares, he’s still frustrated. Even if the orgasm worked to ease the physical discomfort, he now has to unpack the fact he’s dependent on asphixiation of all fucking kinks. He doesn’t have time for this guy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I froze.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You froze?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m really sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The way the words tumble off Ryusui’s tongue has Ukyo pausing. There’s no mistaking that level of honesty. The way his eyes shift around. The red on his ears. For a man with as big of an ego as Ryusui, he wouldn’t be saying sorry if it didn’t appeal to his own pride. He doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be seen as a peeping tom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He takes another deep breath, closes his eyes, runs his hands through his hair just to feel them get snagged. Shit, he probably still </span>
  <em>
    <span>looks </span>
  </em>
  <span>like he just had the marathon sex that he did. So much for dignity. Being caught with sex breath and cum on your chest was bad enough, and yet Ryusui got to see the grand finale, too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo just wants to end this conversation and bathe. Then never bring it up again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just, keep whatever you just saw to yourself,” Ukyo tells him, without an ounce of debate in his tone. “If I hear anyone talking about this--.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah, woah,” Ryusui holds up both hands, all shame gone, he just looks concerned at this point, brow furrowed like he’s genuinely taken aback at the suggestion. “I’d never. I’m not that kinda guy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo looks at him. Studies his face. Thinks of his tone. The way he finally held eye contact to make his promise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You swear?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“On my life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Exhaling through his nose, Ukyo nods. “Okay.” He looks down at himself. Feels the way the blanket is sticking to him. Just wants to sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s silent then, between them. But not awkward. Ukyo’s starting to realize that he doesn’t entirely have a proper read on Ryusui. At first, he thought he was just some spoiled capitalist brat. But then he let Ruri put him in his place, let Ukyo put him in his place, gives a shit about how other people see him and the honor on his name. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Ukyo isn’t so sure what Ryusui is all about. He can’t tell if it’s unsettling or not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So uh,” Ryusui scratches behind his head. “Choking, huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go home, Ryusui.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, leaving.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Between Francois and Yuzuriha, the entirety of the Kingdom of Science is catapulted into a whole new era of being. One where they have options in clothing, diverse nutrition, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>luxuries. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone experiences the culture shock. Everyone takes a few days to adjust. Some of them rushing to spend their dragos on clothing that’ll get dirty on the unpaved roads, just to blow the rest of their income on a dinner date for a night. Others are stingy with their money, or just don’t quite equate value to the paper bills just yet. They avoid the shops and the restaurants, stick to what’s been normal to them. And slowly, very slowly, start to warm up to the new choices.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo watches as it all unfolds. Now that the Five Generals have been established as the authority, he finds himself once again elevated, but this time he’s treated more as an equal. People warm up to talking to him, especially as the schools open and the villagers rush to his classroom everyday. When Mirai and Suika, and the other young girls of the village all practice their ABCs drawing in the sand, and when the adults of Ishigami Village start to keep up with old world conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At first he teaches only a few people. But as the days go on, the chairs fill up. Some of the old world residents come to lean on the open windowsills and watch the lessons. He sees Minami come by a few times to document the school through pictures. They smile at each other, and after a few times, it’s no longer awkward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not long before some of them even ask for him to open classes for them. So they can continue their studies they left behind. To learn English or history. He’s surprised to find out that he managed to recall enough to offer it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He accepts. But has to talk to Senku about getting another teacher.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, education is tempting, isn’t it?” he taps on his chin, a sly grin starting to curl on his face and Ukyo narrows his eyes. “Maybe we should start charging tuition.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Through clenched teeth, Ukyo tells him, “Do it and I’ll open a rival school for free.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Senku drops it, waving him off with a “you’re no fun” but lets it go. Promises to find someone with enough of an education to keep up with the curriculum he’s set up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that’s how, the following morning, Ukyo steps inside the school house to see Ryusui sitting on top of the table at the front. He’s got his legs pulled up and crossed underneath him, reading through the lesson plans Ukyo left the night before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo stops short when he sees him, still picking sleep out of his eyes. He yawns. “Can I help you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ryusui looks up at him, flashes one of his charming smiles that hits his eyes with a little more sincerity than Ukyo’s used to. “I’m here to help you, actually.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Ukyo stills his hand where he’s rubbing at the corner of his eye. His sleep deprived mind feels extra exhausted these days. Now that he spends so much of his time recalling information, code switching to teach English, constantly wracking his brain to fill in gaps he forgot if a question is asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m your new co-teacher,” he says, smile going lopsided. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo blinks. “Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ryusui lets out a bark of laughter. “Don’t get too excited,” he says, and the lilt in his voice tones down a little, Ukyo notices. Watches him swallow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s just,” he drops his hand, gestures vaguely. “Tired. Didn’t expect it to be you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I do have the highest education after you,” he says, folding his arms across his chest. He shifts in a way so his posture exudes confidence. But Ukyo can hear every dip in his voice. Then he pauses, thinks, “and Senku. Am I wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo shakes his head. “You’re not,” he confirms. Points at the papers he’s got in his hands, “Have any questions about those?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Looking down at Ukyo’s notes, Ryusui shuffles through the papers, shakes his head. “No, looks good to me. I don’t fully get how it’s supposed to look though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then just watch for today,” he says, yawns again. Fuck he’s so tired. He can barely sleep most nights. Even if he doesn’t have nightmares, his body has become so accustomed to the response they trigger that his body automatically goes into fight or flight the moment his head hits the pillow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When it’s really bad, it’s the moment the sky turns dark. Anticipated fear starts to brew menacing in his gut. Muscles tense and stomach nauseous. He’s spent several nights up in the last week, spending the free hours documenting everything he can remember about the past. Even if there’s gaps and crossed out scribbles where he thinks he mixes up names or events. Question marks doodled in the margins to remind himself to confirm with someone else later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At this point, he’s got an encyclopedia in his house. But he’s too ashamed of his own inability to calm down to tell anyone about it just yet. He’s not even sure how accurate it all is anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ryusui watches him as he moves around the table to the chests they keep for storage, starts to pull out enough pencils and paper for the first class. Chalk for the board Senku managed to make. It’s all rough, primitive. So it doesn’t last long. But it all serves its purpose. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I try to keep lesson flow consistent,” he explains, “Because if the pattern is same, people know what to expect, I don’t have to waste time explaining.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Ryusui turns so he can watch him. “I’ve taught classes at my family’s academy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But that was all adults.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Ryusui shrugs, “can’t be too different though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo turns where he’s leaned over to pull out more reams of paper. They always go through quite a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll see soon enough.” He walks over to put all the supplies on the table, organizes it in the way he knows his students will be looking for when they break their pencil lead or tear their paper. Magma’s especially bad with that. “I try to mix up the order of subjects every day though. Language needs to be more hands on, but the rest is okay in lecture style. You speak English?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In response, Ryusui says in fluent British dialect, “I’ve learned since I was three.” His accent is undoubtedly far better than Ukyo’s. Which happens, Ukyo learned in adulthood, without the privilege of specialized childhood education. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They don’t need anything advanced,” he manages to pull English out of his tired mind. Feels a weight behind his eyes at the labour of it so early. A form in headache. “Except some of the modern residents. Maybe you can teach them today. They’re the last class.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ryusui’s eyes light up. “How’d you learn English so well?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, they’re staying in English then? Ukyo supposes it’s fine. Even if it’s harder to fully process the different dialect than what he’s used to. “The Navy found out I was good at it, and had me working communications sometimes,” he explains.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that American English?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, there were a few U.S. troops with us,” he looks up, looks around, tries to think of the adjective he’s looking for.in the next sentence. “My accent is poor, I was taught in a crash course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ryusui shakes his head. “It’s a little rough but you can be understood, at least.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo smiles at him, pushes himself to make it kind despite the exhaustion he feels. The way he wants to be back in bed. He can tell that Ryusui’s English is far more natural. He’s probably a proper bilingual compared to the way Ukyo tried to stick to simpler sentence structures when he could. Which was fine, he wouldn’t be talking to any English speakers any time soon. Ryusui could handle the language courses then. Save Ukyo the code-switch headache. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shows Ryusui the setup and where they keep their supplies. Tells him to stand to the side or take one of the seats. Ryusui swears it would just be for today. So he could see how Ukyo’s teaching everyone. That by tomorrow he’d be taking over where he could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And well, Ukyo isn’t about to argue with that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They get through the first chunk of classes fine, Ukyo’s tired but, when is he not. Only has to interrupt himself once or twice to yawn. He gets a few questions that take him a second to answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the second time it happens, Ryusui seems to pick up on those moments that Ukyo’s thoughts are too sluggish. Answers the question for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo’s dead on his feet when everyone is excused for lunch hour. The students are already starting to come back, having finished eating or whatever errand they had in the free hour. He’ll have to start again soon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Head pounding and thoughts turned to static from exhaustion, Ukyo leans against the table in front, arms crossed, staring into the rows of desks and trying to keep his eyes open.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ryusui comes up beside him, leans one hand on the table and with the other, snatches Ukyo’s hat off his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Confused and a little startled, Ukyo turns at him, blinking long and sleepy. He lets out a tired, “Huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Holding the hat up between them and the class, Ryusui leans in close to tell Ukyo, “Get out of here. I can handle the rest.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukyo shakes his head, Ryusui’s really close. It’s distracting. To his tired mind. He can’t help the way he notices the gold tones in Ryusui’s eyes, the freckles on his tanned cheek bones from years in the sun. The way his hair looks soft, even if it is a little greasy like the rest of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s handsome. The realization comes to him like a fact. Like it’s something he’s known the whole time but never really thought about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s hard to think about anything else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to teach,” Ukyo yawns, shakes himself out of it and nearly clocks Ryusui in the head. Shit, he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>close. “You still don’t know how the last subject goes. Then there’s the special classes after--.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t handle it,” Ryusui insists, “You said you keep the class structure the same? Your pattern is easy to pick up. I get your lesson plans now. Go get some rest.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rest. Sleep. It’s tempting but.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chews on his lip, tries to ignore the way Ryusui’s ears have turned red. Tries not to think about his stupid handsome face. Ukyo can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>stand </span>
  </em>
  <span>this guy. Why does he have to be attractive on top of it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Go,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Ryusui insists again. “Don’t be stubborn. I’ve got this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He fits Ukyo’s hat back on his head, signaling that the topic isn’t open for any more discussion. During their talk, the rest of the class has come in, talking politely among themselves or watching and waiting for him to start the class. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it’s Ryusui who does it this time. Stands in front and signals to them before introducing his role as their new teacher from today on. Ukyo watches, silently, brain a little numb, as it goes… fine. Ryusui starts the class the same way Ukyo would have and the students respond just fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s fine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s still sitting in front of class like he’s become wallpaper. So, he forces himself to stand up, wander out of the class. When he’s at the doorway, he looks back to watch for another moment as Ryusui leads the lecture. His charming grin is wide, shoulders set and confident. Everyone is already enraptured by his charisma. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he notices Ukyo watching him, his smile gets a little wider. And he winks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It makes Ukyo’s numb brain hurt too much to think about, so he pushes his legs to move until they take him to his home. Kicks off his shoes. Falls into bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And passes out the moment his head hits the pillow.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Shout out to my fellow tired bilinguals. When will people realize that exhaustion and code switching just don't mix.</p><p>But here you go, the ball is finally rolling for these two. Next update we get to revisit our favorite convicts.</p><p>Don't forget to leave comments and kudos &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>